Two reasons why I hate small towns--and one why I like them.

A few years ago I was involved in something that was--and still is--a really good opportunity for the high school girls in this community. I was a part of it when I was a senior, and continued to help out wherever I could until about four years ago when I was offered the position of Chairperson for the committee. I was excited and scared all at the same time. And because it was my first year, there were glitches in the way things ran. I hadn't really had any training for what I was doing, so it was all basically brand new. But in all, I thought I had done a really good job.

Then it came time for us to start planning for the next year, and this other person came in off the Chamber of Commerce board and started trying to dictate the way My committee was run. So I quit. There were other things that were said and done behind my back that made this whole thing very obvious that the "special people" in this town didn't like me and didn't want me in charge of the committee. Which, fine. But TELL ME! Don't go around behind my back and tell everyone else what you think of me. And DON'T complain to other people because you don't like the way something is done. You have an issue with me? Talk TO ME. Quitting was the best thing that I have ever done for my family and I don't regret it one little bit. And I was angry for a long time, but it was just because of the way it was handled. And I thought I was over it.

People, I am not over it. I went to a fundraiser for the girls last night (because I still think it's a good program and I will support it until I die--or move) and I am still not OK with seeing them all there. Especially the one who ran the takeover. She walks around like she's the best person in the whole wide world and it DRIVES ME INSANE.

I want so bad to be over this. To be able to fully forgive these people for the way I was treated and move on with my life. But I would also like to be able to walk into a store downtown and not feel like I'm being judged. I hate that I feel like there's something I have to prove to these people, but I still feel it. I've always been the person that goes and tries to fix problems. I was the mediator with my friends, and all I've ever wanted is just that everyone I come in contact with can see me as a good person. And up until I just typed that, I thought I needed people to like me too. But they don't have to like me. I would just like to feel like people can appreciate the fact that I'm NOT a bad person. That mistakes can be made and people get over them every single day. So why is it so hard?

Reason # 2 why I hate this rural area? I woke up yesterday morning with a wood tick on my forehead! *shriek!* *shudder* Yeah. Disgusting.

But I love this small area because of the things they do for little kids in the summer time. They have all these fun classes--all free!--where kids can go and try things that they maybe wouldn't have otherwise. Already CJ is signed up for baseball, and he has every intention of doing the drama camp, cooking classes, and countless other classes he's named to me. And there are even some that Diva can do. So they are both very excited for the summer, which in turn makes it a lot easier for me to get excited too.

Plus, even though the VIP's in this town may not like me, I have this INCREDIBLE group of friends that I love with all my heart. And I would have never met them if I hadn't stayed here.