Thursday, June 08, 2006

Grah!

I tried to post for over an hour yesterday. Then gave up. It was a deep, meaningful, solve all the world's problems type post, but alas, ye shall never see it now.

Ok, so it wasn't really *that* deep. It was pretty much just me whining about how I have these depressed weeks every now and again. Then I went out and had coffee with friends and laughed and now I'm all better.

Except there is one part of it that's still bugging me. I'm a writer. I love to write stories. There are stories that pop into my head sometimes three times a say. But I never write them. When I get to type something--anything--I get all excited and jittery. However, when I actually have time to try and record all these fabulous stories in my head, I freeze up. Nothing comes out. And it's devastating. I want nothing more than to be able to finish a story, slap my name on it and call it a manuscript.

But then what? I'm a bad enough critic of myself. What would happen if I took my precious little baby manuscript out into the real world and tried to sell it? What if I ended up with nothing but a bunch of big old "form" rejection letters? Worse yet, what if I did sell and ended up with a bunch of reviewers saying that all I sold was a big ol' load of crap? I don't think my psyche could handle that.

So, I write on my blog. And I make notes about the stories I've started and the ones that might make a good story someday. And I hope that there comes a day again where my writing comes as naturally to me as breathing. A day where I'm comfortable enough with my ability that I can submit it, taking the rejections as what they are--all part of the craft--and maybe one day holding a book in my hand that has my name on it.

4 comments:

liberalbanana said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! I love your site design - very cool! How the hell did you end up in rural Minnesota?!? The hubby? You should've brought him back to civilization with you!

ablondeblogger said...

It's very hard to be sensitive and be a writer! One day you'll find that that urge to be published will override any of your fears and you'll just go for it. And when you do, just remember that you wouldn't be normal if you didn't get a ton of rejection letters. Every single one of the best writers out there have gotten hundreds of them!

Stephanie said...

I have been having problems with Blogger all morning. My only compaint about Blogger is that they are "down for maintienance" alot.

I have a similiar problem with writing. I can think of all these clever things to blog about, but once I type them they sound stupid and only fill 2 sentences.

BTW, if you publish a post and it doesn't show up on your blog, just give it time. As long as you got that all files republished or whatever page then your post was saved. Once the "technical difficulties" are over, it will show up.

Stacy Dawn said...

Hey Carrie! It was great to hear from you again. And yes, I just might take you up on the revision of WMAB.

As for the writing, might I suggest The Writing Coach. She's helped me a lot lately. I can't think of the site name right now but there is a link on my blog.

And yes, blogger is driving me NUTS this week.

Also, just for fun and getting your fingers moving, I have a gameshow on my blog every Monday...and for more incentive, being a contestant could get you a prize :)