Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Scurvy Pirates are HOT!

Friday night CB and I pawned the kids off on his mom and dad and headed to semi-civ for an evening of dining and a movie.

I have wanted to see one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in a theater since the first one came out. And since I get the sneaking suspicion this is a nice little bookend to the trilogy, I INSISTED that CB take me on a date to see At World’s End. We had been hearing horror stories all week about how the theaters were selling out! And selling tickets days before the movie opened! So, as soon as we got to semi-civ, I went in and bought our tickets for a later show. I had to wait in line for a whole two minutes before I walked back out with them in hand. Then we headed over to the Home Depot because I have not yet wasted enough of my life in that store and CB needed more things for TRPTWNE (The remodeling project that will not end for you new people) ’07. I spent most of the 45 minutes we were in the store drooling over paint colors. We are painting almost every room in our house this summer, so I was trying to decide which color went best where and did I really want white sand as opposed to white shore? CB finally decided that he had enough screws, tools, and nails to finish the project, so we left there and headed over to Applebee’s for dinner. It was delicious as always and I left feeling a little tipsy and a LOT stuffed.

We made our way into the theater, where they had not allowed anyone into the actual theaters yet. I got a little glimpse of what all the fuss was about because there was a TON of people standing in the lobby waiting to get in. CB and I got to the end of the line just as they let everyone in. By the time we got into the theater, the place was PACKED. I had forgotten that it was only a PG-13 movie, which meant that every little 13 year old was, like, totally without their parents at the movie—which is, like, totally cool. We finally found crappy seats on the side two rows from the front and one row in front of three little boys that must have just gotten their swearing license because every other word out of their mouth was the F-bomb. They were ridiculously annoying, but thankfully stopped talking during the movie.

Now, usually when I go to the theater I am freezing. So, I planned as such and dressed warmly. This was stupid because all the body heat in there had made it feel like we were in a tropical local. I hadn’t been smart enough to wear layers, so I just tried not to move too much since every time I did heat escaped from my sweatshirt and right into my face.

The MOVIE! It was amazing! Even from crappy seats sweating my butt off, the two hours and forty-seven minutes flew by. I LOVED it. I totally want to see it again. And again and again.

Can I just say how insanely hot Johnny Depp is in this movie? Although I had his posters from Tiger Beat on my walls when I was little, I never really thought he was that good looking. But holy hell, throw some ratty dreads and rotten teeth on the man and it’s all I can do not to drool. Even Orlando is hot! I’ve never liked him at all. I think he looks like he’s twelve. Only not in this movie. He’s marginally bad ass in it and I think THAT’s what made him hot.

If you are planning on going to see it, I highly recommend the movie. And, as always with these movies, make sure you stay until the end of the credits as there’s an awesome little surprise at the end. That’s the part that I saw Orlando in and was like “dang. I get it now!”

Friday, May 25, 2007

Now I'm Freeeee/Freee birthin'

I happened across an article on MSN yesterday that was talking about the latest trend in labor and delivery of children. “Free birthing” is a supposedly “empowering” birth experience without medical intervention (read the article here if you’re curious). Seriously, it’s legal as long as YOU are the one that catches YOUR baby. It becomes illegal if an untrained husband or friend assists in any way.

This absolutely boggles my mind! Now, we are getting pretty close to six years since the last time I had any labor pains whatsoever. But the pain is still fresh in my mind. It is certainly NOT something I would want to do all by MYSELF! Seriously, who has the wherewithal during delivery to actually deliver your own baby? I couldn’t even remember how to breathe, let alone how to do the whole thing all by myself!

So what’s your take on it? Would you do it, Ladies? I know that women have been giving birth for thousands of years without medical assistance, but the thought of doing the whole thing all alone is frightening to me. And it sounds dangerous!

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I didn't even pay attention, but as of yesterday it's been one year since I moved in here at Glamorous Redneck!

I can't even begin to describe how much fun y'all have made my little corner of the interweb! I've made so many cool "friends" here. I've laughed, cried, and complained with the best of the best.

I just want to thank all of you for stopping by each and every day. For taking time to comment on my ramblings. And most of all, for being YOU! I hope you all have as much fun here as I do at your blogs.

So, happy Blogaversary to me!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Dancing with GR

On Saturday night Diva and I packed up and headed over to the High School to hang out until it was time for the Recital. Once the crowd started filtering in, I started getting a little nervous. But Diva was just as excited as can be. She was READY. TO. PERFORM!

I settled in a seat at the way back of the auditorium so as to be able to make a quick exit when our turn to dance came. The first three dances went on and then it was Diva and her class’ turn. They were adorable. It was their tap first and they did it to “Born to Hand Jive.” Diva even threw in a little improve and—according to several other people—stole the show. I got a little choked up at the end of the dance.

I didn’t think I’d be so emotional, but dang that girl has dancing in her veins. You can see it in her eyes while she’s smiling and spinning and tapping her way through the routine. And I was just so proud of my little girl dancing in the front row!

A few more dances came and went and before we knew it, it was our turn to show off what we’d spent the last nine months learning. As we were standing backstage, I had a brief moment of “What the hell was I thinking?”, but once the curtains flew open and the music started, I was having a blast! Everyone screamed for us when our dance was over. And while I think it was mostly because our dance teacher was out there and no one has seen her dance on stage in years, I’m so not above saying that we got the loudest applause of the night.

It felt like such a huge accomplishment to be standing there as the curtains closed. Afterwards, we had so many people come up to us and say how brave we were and how awesome we’d done. And I think I even recruited a couple more people for the class next year.

Now we take a break for the summer. It was an unbelievable nine months filled with frustration and excitement and it all culminated with this hugely rewarding feeling of “Holy crap, I learned and performed a TAP DANCE!”

So, if you've been secretly wishing all your life to take dance classes, check around and see if any studios offer adult classes. Because you're never too old to dance! Besides, if I can do it, anyone can!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Glamorous Embarrassing Moments

So Friday we hopped on the extremely cramped bus and drove a little over an hour to a little town called Sandborn. There we traveled to a farm place where the guy authentically built sod houses (using the actual tool and everything) with the exception of adding a rubber inlay so as to save himself the trouble of having to rebuild them every five years or so.

These houses were insanely small. So small that I don’t think I’d be able to get all of my clothes inside of it and still have room to move, let alone live there with four other people who only bathed once a week. There is also what’s called a “soddie”, or a rich person’s version of the sod house. It’s a bit bigger, and you can actually stay in it. Seriously, they’ve set it up as a bed and breakfast! People actually pay money to dress in pioneer clothes, have no electricity, and no running water. Crazy, I say! But it was done up really nicely and unless you looked up and saw all the branches holding the roof together, you’d never notice that you’re in a house built out of dirt. Needless to say it was a very educationally awesome stop.

The next stop was a town called Walnut Grove. This was evidently one of the multiple places Laura Ingalls and her family lived whilst she was growing up. Her book On the Banks of Plum Creek is set along a pretty little creek (Plum Creek, if you can believe it) just a mile or so outside of the town. We started out there, walking over to where Laura’s dugout was located and where the table top mountain is, then down to the Big Rock where she’d watch the cattle go by (if you’re a nerd like me and have read the books a frillion times, you’ll know just what I’m talking about.).

After that, we headed back into town where the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum is. They have all sorts of fun things like replicas of the school house, another sod house, a church, and Grandma’s House. They also have the actual mantle that was inside the Ingalls residence on the TV show.

Inside the gift shop they had cool things like pioneer clothes you could by, old TV memorabilia (including a Bionic Woman lunch pail thermos. I have no idea what that has to do with LIW, but it was a cool find nonetheless.), and authentic toys and candy. CJ bought himself and Diva some marbles, a little toy where you try and get the ball into the cup, and a rock candy sucker.

We headed back home and CJ was sufficiently appreciative of how easy we have it now. He had no idea how kids managed to survive without Play Station 2.

But the best story happens to come from the sod houses at Sanborn. CJ’s teacher informed all of us chaperones that we needed to walk in front of our group of kids. I had been walking behind because I figured this would be the easiest way to keep an eye on them all. So, when she said to get in front of them, I stepped off the little gravel path to try and sneak up in front of them. However, I tripped over something in the grass. While I’m usually pretty good at recovering from a trip (I do this quite often), I couldn’t recover from this one. So three stumbling steps later I landed with a big ol’ THUD and my face in the grass. The kids all thought it was funny and I hurt nothing but my pride. The rest of the day my little group of kids kept making sure that I was in front of them. I told them I was just trying to prove why it’s so very important to STAY ON THE DAMN PATH!!!

So there you have it, a Glamorous Redneck embarrassing moment. But hey, I never said I was Graceful.

Monday, May 21, 2007

When going back to work feels like a vacation. . .

It's sad when I breathe a little sigh of relief as I walk into the silent (and windowless) office space I call my job. I never thought I'd be so happy to be sitting here. Alone. No one to talk to. It's bliss, I tell you! Bliss!

A brief rundown of the week that was:

Wednesday: I ended up having to work later than I normally do, so I rushed around like a mad woman trying to get everything done before dance class. Sucked.

Thursday: Instead of going to the funeral, I took my friends' kids so they could go to the funeral (they are our pastor & wife) and be available for the family. Which turned out to be a lot of fun. We went to the park and they entertained my own kids for hours on end.

Friday: The field trip was awesome. I never realized there was so much cool stuff in these little Podunk towns. However, this day deserves its own entry, so that'll come tomorrow. Dress rehearsal went fine as did singing in the park.

Saturday: CB got the floor on the back porch! We now have two doors to the outside world that are again fully functional! Except now he has to redo the steps because there was too big of a jump. Which made for a very crabby CB. This is a theme that continued for the rest of the weekend. The recital was AWESOME! Talk about a feeling of accomplishment. This one also is deserving of its own entry. (Wow! Fodder for multiple posts! How will I EVER survive?)

Sunday: The baby shower was super fun. Good food and fun conversations. I do enjoy the cheesy shower games, but there is something to be said for just eating, opening presents and socializing.

So there you have it. I'm glad that this week has considerably less on the agenda. I don't think I'd be able to take two weeks like that in a row!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Adventures in Gardening

The thyroid drugs have given me a much needed energy boost. I no longer spent each day living for the next opportunity to sleep. In fact, I can barely fall asleep at night and am waking up before my alarm. After spending the majority of my life NEVER waking up without pushing the snooze button at least once, this is a new feeling and I’m not entirely sure if I like it or not.

So, in my new burst of energy there was this hidden Suzie Homemaker boost. I’ve suddenly decided to do things like “cook meals from scratch” and “drive a mini-van”. But perhaps the strangest new development is my desire to "have a garden". My Aunt is practically a professional gardener. I’ve tried several times to have little flower gardens with marginal success. I don’t know why I do this. I hate the whole “weeding” business and cannot even keep houseplants alive for more than a month, because I conveniently forget to water them.

Last week I got a wild hair and went to the nursery for some plants. Marigolds, snap dragons, pansies and impatiens have all been grown before with mixed results at Casa de la Glamorous. But then I decided to buy some tomato plants because I a) know absolutely nothing about growing vegetables! and b) hate tomatoes! However, I do love me some salsa, and the thought of being able to make my own salsa held some appeal to me. And, with this whole healthy eating kick I’ve been on, I’ve decided that I need to try to like some more healthy stuff. I used to love cherry tomatoes when I was little, but then I discovered things like Mochaccino M&M’s and DiGiorno stuffed crust pizzas and my secret recipe Chocolate Chip Cookies and all those healthy things sort of jumped down to the very bottom of the list. So, I’ve planted three different types of tomatoes: one for salsa, one for cooking, and one for eating raw.

Yesterday, I totally thought I had killed them all off. We had 90’s for temperatures on Sunday and Monday, and then the temperature dropped down to 68 yesterday. All my poor little plants were kind of wilting and looked half dead. So, I hauled out my trusty watering can, mixed some Miracle Gro in and tried to revive them all. Lo and behold, this morning they are all looking oh-so-perky and may have some new blossoms on them. I’m waiting not so patiently for the snap dragons to bloom because they are my favorite to play with.

So, once the plants get some more pretties on them, I’ll be sure to post pictures (including a montage of how I play with snap dragons in case you’re thinking I’m a freak. Which if your just thinking it now, you’re probably reading for the first time, so Hello! Welcome!!).

Any well-seasoned gardeners out there that want to share advice would be forever on my favorite people list.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Glamorous Runaround

Remember in that last entry when I was all “Don’t get married in May unless you want to share your anniversary with everyone and their mother?” Case in point: Here is how I will be spending the week up to and including our anniversary:

Last night (Monday)-Take Diva to summer dance class. Help friend with Girl Scouts tea party. Which was too much fun for me. It was so cute to hear the little girls using their manners “Please pass the tea pot? Why thank you!”

Tonight-Music practice for church. Also have to squeeze my work out in and clean my now officially haz-mat house.

Wednesday-Need to get to Semi-Civ for things needed for Sunday. Also have last dance practice before recital.

Thursday-Funeral for a friend’s sister that passed away. Maybe Bible Study, which takes up most of the night.

Friday-Field trip with CJ for the day. Then dress rehearsal for the dance recital. Then singing at a Relay for Life event in a neighboring town. Then collapse on bed from exhaustion.

Saturday-Recital!!! Hair, makeup, costumes will probably take up much of the afternoon.

Sunday (our anniversary)-Church, then prep for Baby Shower!!! I’ll maybe see my husband somewhere around dinner time.

So, as you can see, it’s mostly fun stuff, but this is always how my month of May looks. Every year. And, actually, I seem to have one or two things added each time.

I’m really glad we had last weekend to go out. CB took me to this awesome Greek restaurant in Semi-Civ where we dined on our inaugural hummus appetizer. I was surprised at how good the stuff is! We had pita chips to dip in it and then were brought a basket of warm pita bread too. The food was all delicious and I do believe we’ve found a replacement for our usual Applebee’s date!

Stay tuned tomorrow for some Glamorous Redneck gardening tips!

Friday, May 11, 2007

The one without a purpose

See me? See me going on my little hiatus again? Yeah, I’m good at that.

So we got the mini van, and every little twinge of ick I feel about it melts away when CJ looks at me and says “Mommy, I’m SO HAPPY we have a van!” OK, so I still kinda cringe when I get in it, but it’s only as uncool as you let it be. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it be even the least bit uncool. The good qualities certainly outweigh the bad, and while I’m quite content to drive around in a little car (a Pontiac Solstice or Mustang would suit me just fine, thankyouverymuch), I’ve got a bunch of tall people in my family. CB is 6’ 4”, and (thankfully) the kids have taken after him in the height department (which makes me insanely jealous of Diva’s legs because they go on FOREVER and she’s only 5), but that means that everyone else in the fam is cramped whilst I am completely content in something smaller. So, like I said. Mini van = Good thing. Carrie’s Ego – Mini Van + Children’s happiness = I’ll get over it.

The week in a nutshell:

- Our anniversary is on the 20th, but that weekend is packed full of dress rehearsal, dance recital (which I am dancing at too!) and a baby shower, so we’re celebrating our 7th anniversary a week early. Without much pomp and circumstance (read: Dinner and shopping), but May is always so insanely busy (warning to all you unmarried peeps: DO NOT GET MARRIED IN MAY! Unless you don’t mind sharing your anniversary with field trips, birthday parties, and graduation ceremonies.) and then we’ll continue our progress on TRPTWNE 2007.

- I’ve decided to start gardening. So I got all my pretty flowers (along with some tomato plants) put in the ground last night, and it was much harder than I remembered it. But then I spent Wednesday pulling weeds and Tiger Lilies out of the flower bed. And trees! I’ve never seen so many little trees take up root in a flower garden. Then again, we have left the outside of our house untouched in the almost four years we’ve lived here.

- The weather has finally been highly cooperative. After having a garage sale in torrential rain last weekend, Mother Nature has rewarded us with blissfully sunny and 85 degree days. Heaven! Until the mosquitoes come out. . .

So that’s pretty much it. Highly uneventful, but that’s the way it goes. Only 15 more days of school and then I should have LOTS of fun stories of people watching at the various summer rec activities.

Friday, May 04, 2007


When I moved out here to Podunk, I was the only new kid in the school. The rest of the kids had been together since Kindergarten. Needless to say, it was a little tough to make new friends.

But, in the years since, more and more people have been moving into the area. And we’ve seen a lot of out of state plates. A surprising amount from California. I want to scream to them “Turn around! Go back from whence you came!” to save them the trouble of first winters and mosquitoes the size of small birds. At the same time, I have to admire them because those of us that are smart spend a good season of our lives in California, but get out before we become jaded and oblivious to the realness of life on the outside of permanent sunshine and perfect weather.

There was a song back in about 99 or so that talked about living in SoCal once, but leaving before it makes you soft, and I think that’s really true. When you spend a long time there, things that normal people deal with every day become foreign. You become accustomed to breaking out the winter coats when the temperature dips below 60 degrees. You become unappreciative of the history and architecture surrounding the missions and museums. And of the size and organization of things like the Wild Animal Park and the San Diego Zoo.

So while part of me screams at them to get out while they still can, another part of me wants to tell them how much more appreciative one becomes of the things we take for granted when we get a glimpse of the “outside world”. We can appreciate the time we spent there, and hold it up on a pedestal for the whole world to see. But we can also hold it in our hearts as a great time in our lives, both grateful for the opportunity and thankful to be out of there.

Because when you’ve been there and are gone, you don’t have to remember the things like hostage situations that didn’t let you get home to your mom. Or two hour commutes that are only 20 miles long. Or not being able to find a place on the beach to park your towel. You can instead appreciate the days when you cruised down the PCH with the windows down and music blaring. And when you lucked out and found your own little piece of sand that no one else knew existed. You can close your eyes and see the sunsets without remembering that time you sat on a red ant hill.

A friend reminded me this week that there are seasons of life and “you can do anything for a season.” And she’s right. So, I’m looking at this whole mini van business as a season. One which will not last forever. That will serve its purpose and not be all pretty and perfect. But I’ll look back on it years from now and remember only the good things about it. And maybe—just for a minute—I’ll long for the days of mini vans and spilled juice. Then I’ll roll the top down on my Mustang and appreciate the new season too.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


I never thought I'd have to type the words that will be following shortly. Never in a million years did I dream I would be even THINKING about this, let alone actually doing it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe I am buying a mini van.

Do you KNOW how bad it hurts to even TYPE that?!?!? I get verklempt randomly throughout the day even just thinking about it. You see, I had convinced everyone in this house that we did not need a mini van. Because, seriously, why does a family of 4 that is not growing need something suited for a family of 8? *I* am NOT a mini-van kind of person. Am much more Mini-Cooper kind of person. Beautious little cars that I don't feel like one of those little old ladies that look through the steering wheel when I drive it. And I'm FAR too glamorous for this nonsense! Give me a big ol' gas guzzling SUV any day of the week and I'm totally down with that. But a VAN? Surely you gest!

However, it does have an auto start button, so there's that. I'm trying to be positive about the whole thing. Plus, the fact that CJ is already almost as tall as me and getting somewhat scrunched in the back seat of the Glamourmobile du jour is only going to get worse in the coming years. And it will be nice to be able to just go and grab their friends for birthday parties and take them up to the cities. Or something like that. If I'm desparate. And have a death wish.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

A bit of a quandry

When I first saw the movie Grease, I was about three years old. Maybe older, but "You're the One that I Want" has been ingrained into my head for as long as I can remember. And it's been one of my top ten movies since those days.

For Christmas one year, my mom took me into DC to see Grease on stage. It was fabulous. A little different from the movie, but still fantastic. After we walked out of that show, I swore that if I ever had a chance to be involved, I would try out for a stage version of my favorite movie.

Then we went to see it again this past November. And it cemented my resolve to someday be my favorite character (believe it or not, Rizzo is my favorite)on stage. But, we live in an area where the culture doesn't so much exist.

So imagine my surprise when I saw that the community theater in a town just 30 miles from us will be putting on Grease this summer. Tryouts are in about three weeks. When I think about even getting the chance, I get little butterflies in my stomach. I mean, it's probably a frillion to one odds that I'd be cast as Rizzo--it is a college town with a pretty strong theater arts program--but even to just be a part of it is a dream come true.

But here's where the problem lies: The kids don't want me to do it because it would probably take up a lot of my time for rehearsals and such. I don't know that I have the time to dedicate to it. It's 60 miles round trip, and with gas getting to that dreaded $3 mark right now, one can only imagine what the price will be this summer. So I don't think CB will go for it either. I haven't even talked to him about it.

What do you think? Do I go for it anyway and point out to the kids that there's really not THAT much time taken up? Or do I wait for the chance somewhere else down the line? Word on the street is that the choir director here in Podunk has hopes of starting up a community theater, but who knows if Grease would ever be there?