Tuesday, July 31, 2007


I really don't follow the NBA. Or hockey, soccer, or even much of baseball for that matter. I have a general knowledge (probably more than most girls I know) about how each of the games run and I try to keep up with at least who is on the Minnesota teams' starting lineups. And I will read the sports headlines if they look like they include a name I recognize. Yesterday there was one that said Kevin Garnett of the Minnesota Timberwolves was getting traded to Boston. This surprises me because I always kind of pictured him as a franchise player. But it doesn't surprise me because the glory days of the 'Wolves being a force to be reckoned with are long gone and he pretty much was the only guy who did anything outstanding.

The whole professional sports thing just really bothers me lately. Seriously, these guys are being paid an insane amount of money to play a sport that they love while I make my measly little salary doing something that I never in a million years imagined I would do. And it certainly isn't my passion!

Even when I was little I remember there being one or two big names that would stay with a team for their entire career. And it's so sad how these people are so concerned with making more money or getting that big championship ring that they will not even put up a fight when their ownership talks trade.

I guess it's sad to me because the lesson that they are teaching the kids that look up to them. There's no such thing as loyalty anymore. You just take off for the highest bidder or the one that promises you everything that you've always dreamed of instead of just sticking with what you start and trusting that it takes time to build things.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being hyper-sensitive (like a crabby old man "back in my day. . .") to the whole thing, but all these people who make more money than they could ever spend who then turn around and get busted for drugs. Or drinking and driving. Or freaking dog fighting (what's up with THAT?) really just piss me off.

Monday, July 30, 2007


When I was little, I really had the best of both worlds. I lived in this awesome apartment complex and there was a group of us (it varied between 6-10 kids, depending upon who was there and who had moved on) that would play together every day. The boys were always willing to play house with us and us girls were always willing to get down and dirty and play our made up game Navy Seals.

The boys got me hooked on these fun little toys called Transformers. My favorite was Bumblebee and my all-time favorite was, of course, Optimus Prime. I had a few of my own, but I had always wanted my very own Optimus. Naturally, he was way too expensive for my mom (who was single at the time) to buy for me.

When I heard they were making the transformers movie, I was so excited! Then I heard that they were making Bumblebee into a freaking Camero and I was PISSED! I hate when these things are remade and don't stick to the authentic version! I was going to boycott it out of respect for the cartoons.

Then I saw the previews during the trailers before the Pirates movie, and I decided there was no way I was missing that thing! I was still mad that they'd changed my favorite character, but the effects looked too good to miss.

Yesterday, after much begging and pleading that the movie would be cheapened if we didn't get to see it on the big screen and watching the how it was made little things on TV, CB finally concurred that we needed to go see the movie.

Let me tell you, I am totally over them changing Bumblebee. Because that car was AWESOME! And Bumblebee was still awesome.

Seriously, if you can, you HAVE to get to that movie in the theaters! When it was over, I wanted to sit through it again. The effects are insane, the storyline is awesome, Josh Duhamel is drool-worthy as usual and the cars are INSANE! Also, did I mention that the effects are awesome?

Anyway, enough about that. I haven't talked about this yet, but I'll be doing an interview with Mr. Fab himself on Sunday August 12th. I'll give you more details as it gets closer, but mark your calendars so you can listen in and call in with questions. Don't leave me hanging there all by myself!!! :)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The De-Glamorfication of GR

July 3rd marked the 12th anniversary of yours truly moving out here to Podunk. And it occurred to me the other day just how much living here has effected my fashion choices. The first evidence of this began on the first day of school here. My entire life I (along with most of my friends) dressed in our best attire for the first day of school. I remember scouring clothing racks for back to school clothes, trying so hard to find The Perfect outfit. It's the whole "make a good first impression thing" at its finest.

So when I moved here, I luckily had a cousin to show me the ropes. I had a perfectly dressy outfit picked out for the first day of school. She and I were making small-talk as she showed me around the school (seriously, the high school here is a freaking MAZE! You need a college degree to navigate it properly. Or just have grown up here, but whatever!). Anyways, I asked her what she was planning on wearing the first day of school and she was all "eh, I don't know. Probably just a T-shirt and jeans." And I died a little inside. Why?!?!? Why would you just throw on any old thing and call it good? Now that I think about it, I suppose it's because out here everyone already knows everyone else, so there's not really that NEED for a good first impression.

I'll have you know that I settled for a slightly-less-dressy but nowhere near t-shirt and jeans first day of school outfit.

But today I was thinking about what's dressy out here as opposed to, say, Minneapolis. The only place where people actually dress up for work is at the banks. And even then, khaki's are acceptable. Most places of business are the jeans and maybe a polo kind of place.

So, is this the way it is today? Have we become that casual of a society? Or is it just out here in Podunk that this sort of fashion is acceptable?

It has effected me. More so than I had realized. I do work in a t-shirt and jeans type place, but I'm totally fine with that. I still dress up when I feel like it, but when I do, I feel awkward and overdressed. It drives me crazy, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let this place completely turn me into an uber-casual person with no thought put into their wardrobe whatsoever!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Summer Bright Spot

From mid-July to mid-August the weather here is stifling. It isn't uncommon to have weeks like the one we're having now where the temps are 90+ with 95% humidity. And I hate HATE hate humidity. But this is my favorite part of summers in Minnesota for one reason and one reason alone: SWEET CORN!!

I know it's coming when the little street stands start popping up. Then, before we know it, the pickup trucks start pulling into gas stations with beds full of delicious Minnesota sweet corn. And I know you can get corn on the cob anywhere in the world, but there is nothing that tastes quite as good as the fresh-off-the-stalk lovliness of the stuff they grow here.

The first time I had it was when my brother and I came out here from VA to spend a summer with my grandma. I remember her being so excited because it was almost time for the corn to ripen and I was all "who cares? You can buy it in the freezer section at the grocery story year-round!"

And then I tasted it. For that blissful four weeks time, we ate corn on the cob with every meal. In fact, some nights is WAS our meal. It was a slow night if the five of us only went through a dozen ears. After that summer, I was hooked. So it was my little bright spot when we moved here (at least I'll get sweet corn again!), and has been the one thing that keeps me going all through the summer every year since then.

Yesterday we finally got our first batch. And this weekend we'll be eating as much as we can jam down our throats. Not to mention that Redneck Mom should be calling us up to their farm to pick some more.

Soon it'll all be gone, and we'll be so tired of corn that we won't eat it for a good two months. But for right now, it's my little bright spot that makes the crappy weather just a little more bearable.

Does your region of the globe grow anything that you look forward to?

Friday, July 20, 2007

Topical Depression

The thing I hate most about the dreams about The Ex is it makes me all wistful and nostalgic. Not because of him, but because of what he represents. High School. No responsibility. Hot make out sessions with the anticipation that you can get caught at any second. OK, so those still happen on occasion, but you get my point, right? ;)

Anyway, when I get wistful and nostalgic, I usually break out my high school pictures, look them over a few dozen times and then I'm good in a couple of days. However, since I'm at my dad's house, I have an even better form of torture: Home Videos. So last night, I sat down with a box of Kleenex and hit play. I watched my brother's first kindergarten performance, a couple of Christmases Past, CB and my wedding dance, and a couple of choir concerts. But then I found a tape that had my Grandma's house after a horrible flood that destroyed it. And after the obligatory insurance video, there was my grandma. So excited about her new house and giving my aunt a virtual tour of it. That's when I lost it.

My grandma was an amazing woman. She was the absolute best woman that I have ever known. We never had to question how much she loved us and her birthday cards were the stuff memories are made of. Every year, she would write a note about how excited she was the day I was born (so excited she went through half a loaf of bread because she kept burning it. And she would tell me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. And she did this for everyone that she held close to her heart) and every year it would make me blubber. That first birthday without her was horrible. My mom tries--and does the same thing--but it's not the same as seeing Grandma's perfectly messy conglomeration of cursive and printing.

So last night as I was watching this video, I closed my eyes and it was just like she was standing in the room with me. I miss her voice. I miss her jokes. I miss her useless trivia about all things Wizard of Oz. I hate that she didn't ever get to see Wicked. I hate that I didn't ever get to discuss the book with her. But most of all I hate that my kids don't get to know her. Because she could read a children's book like no one else I've ever met.

Here's a pic of my grandma and grandpa. I'm pretty sure it's their wedding picture. And that's not my grandma's real hair. She never really knew what her natural color was. If she wasn't wearing wigs, she was dying her hair blonde. So it's comforting for me to know that there is still part of her here with me (I'm the same way. NO IDEA what the natural color is). Because she was so very awesome.

Now, I'm over the moping. I'm laughing at all the good memories and not thinking about the bad. It just really hit me last night how much of an impact she had on my life.

So who is YOUR impactor? Who is that one person that influenced you the most to become who you are today?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Lack of sleep is SO not Glamorous

I think that the sleep thing is an issue for all of us. Because while the children are getting up at 5:00 in the morning, I am laying in bed at that same time, tossing and turning trying to get just two more hours eeked in. I think that the whole lack of sleep is a major contributor to my feeling like I want to just crawl in a corner and cry everytime something frustrating comes up with the kids.

Maybe it's the whole sleeping in a different place thing for them. I've been having trouble going to sleep. And I shouldn't be. I've never had trouble. My dad's bed is one of those Sleep Number (My number is 45) beds and every other time I've stayed, I've crawled into the thing and gone right to sleep. Only I haven't stayed here since the Big Breakup of '05.

See, now it's not my parents' bed. It's my dad's bed. My dad who has begun dating again. Which means ladyfriends that have stayed the night. Which also means there is most likely some. . .stuff. . .going on in that bed with women that I don't know (I've only met the official Girlfriend. There have been others before her) and that skeeves me out.

Add to that that last night I had a dream about The Ex and the same sort of . . .stuff. . .which made me so mad at myself that I couldn't get back to sleep even if I had wanted to and it all combines for one VERY tired Glamorous Redneck.

I HATE those dreams! You know, the vivid. . .stuff. . .dreams either with people you know or don't know (and usually AREN'T your significant other). They make it so I can't sleep at night because I feel horrible for even thinking those things in my sub-conscious mind. I know there's nothing I can do to control them and I also know that CB has them too (because HE TELLS ME about them. Seriously, people in relationships, there is such a thing as too much honesty. Some things are better left unsaid), but none of that helps with the guilt that follows me around for the rest of the day.

How about for you? Do you get all ickified by those dreams? Or do you just let it slide as one of those stupid things our psyche uses to drive us mad?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Week in a Nutshell

So hello! I disappeared for a while there, didn’t I? A brief rundown of what’s been going on:

Monday – Overtired and not feeling like blogging.

Tuesday – CJ had baseball playoffs. CJ saved the game and advanced their team when he caught a pop fly. He was so excited (as was the whole team)! I think I just might get a sport outta this boy yet!

CB had taken the day off work to watch because it was potentially their last game and he hadn’t been to one yet.

Wednesday – Another playoff game. CJ’s team won again. Rushed straight from game to work. They won again!

Thursday – Conference championship. Took the day off work because I wasn’t sure how long it was going to go. If they would have won, we would have had to get to another town for the Regional championship. We lost to a team that was undefeated, so the boys weren’t too upset. Took our time heading back home, stopping to play at parks and such.

Friday – Phone call at 6:00 AM (did you see that AM?!? No one calls that early unless someone’s died.) “Oh!” I think. “Must be time for [best friend, we’ll call Pam] to go to the hospital for baby!” So, I jumped out of bed, all excited. Here it was just one of the ladies from church calling to tell me that Pam and her hubby left for the hospital in the middle of the night and she needed someone to watch ½ of Pam’s kids today because she had to be at an orientation by 1:00 PM (did you see that PM? As in SEVEN HOURS after she called me?!?!?). I told her that I would check with Redneck Mom (she watches my kids on Fridays), however I would not be calling her until the humane hour of 8:00.

Had Pam’s girls at my house when her hubby called to tell them that their new little brother (this is #5!) was born. Can’t even begin to tell you how awesome it was to watch their little faces light up!

Saturday – CB & CJ went to a Cub Scouts day camp. Diva, Glamorous Mom and I had a girls’ day out! Started with a park excursion, then went to a Tastefully Simple party, then headed to semi-civ to shop and visit the new baby and family. They are all fantastic and new baby is PERFECT.

Sunday – Glamorous Dad is gone to San Diego for vacation. He left us the keys to the Jeep. We have been cruising all over town taking advantage of the lovely little Jeep Wrangler. It’s the closest I’ll get to a convertible in the near future, so we spent most of yesterday cruising around town. Love it!

Monday – Today I’m tired because Diva has been waking up at 5:00 in the morning. Cannot function on such little sleep. Need nappy.

Thanks for all the compliments on the new blog look! I promise I’ll be getting around to all of you in the next day or so. Today the kids are at VBS, so I’m working early. Which means we get our afternoons back. Which also means that I will be taking the monkeys to the pool to wear them out. Perhaps then they will not want to get up so stinking early in the morning!!!!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Ooo look at the pretty!

Do you love it as much as I do? Is it not the coolest blog design EVER?!?!? Did you see the little GR necklace on the uber-hot version of me up there? With the good hair? Zoe at Chic and Sassy Designs is the culprit behind my fabulous new makeover. And I totally love her for doing this for me!

It's amazing what little change can do for my mood. I'm all happy and excited and just keep sitting and staring at my blog. And for once, it isn't because I don't know what to write!

Also, I am officially child free! I just need to get through the rest of the work day and I'll be home free!

It's been so hot here and since our house was built in the stone age, and we have radiant heat (you know, the kind that just comes through little water thingies on the wall instead of vents?), the only kind of air conditioning that we have (or could afford since I do not think it's worth $20 grand to have the central air installed) is window air conditioners. Needless to say, when it gets hot like it's been, they don't work very well unless the area they are trying to cool is made as small as possible. So the kids have been sleeping on the floor in our room. CB would be just fine leaving the doors open and sleeping with the windows open, but I have never not had comfortable air conditioning and while I'm not very demanding in most aspects, I DEMAND to be able to sleep in temperatures lower than 80 degrees. So it will be nice tonight to not have to worry about stepping on tiny bodies in the middle of the night.

Hope y'all have a great weekend! :)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

All Messed Up

Two nights of fireworks + getting home way late + having to wake up early this morning = one very tired and very cranky Glamorous Redneck.

On Tuesday night, we went out to the casino and watched the fireworks get lit almost right next to us. They were huge and amazing and almost an hour long. By the time the parking lot cleared out, it was almost midnight. CB was mucho glad that he didn't have to get up at his normal 5:50 am.

Then yesterday we ventured the ten miles up the road to the Redneck parents' town. CB's dad was in the parade being honored as their "Artist in Residence", so the kids got to ride through the parade with him and throw candy.

I love the small town parades. I know that up in the cities most places don't allow you to throw candy anymore. And for as small as this particular town is (maybe 300 people. And that just might be exaggerating), they really do put on an awesome celebration. After the parade, we headed back to CB's parents' house for a barbecue. It was delicious. Then we came home and everyone but me slept for almost two hours. I went outside and weeded my garden, upon getting all the foreign weeds out, I saw that I have two little roma tomatoes on my one plant. This feels like a HUGE accomplishment! A plant in my care has survived long enough to produce the fruit it is supposed to! And it is not dead!

I also love the fireworks. They are the one thing from my childhood that still amazes me. It's insane how the people that put these together can figure out different chemical reactions to make such pretty colors and sparkles! There was even one that exploded in the shape of a star! Soo cool!

Today it's back to normal and CJ had a baseball game. I'm totally confused as to what day of the week it is. First I thought it was Monday, then Tuesday, now I'm excited because it's really Thursday! I think everyone should get a day off in the middle of the week. Every week. Makes everything go by so much faster. As long as I have a calendar nearby to remind me what day it is. . .

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Worst Cartoon Ever?

I was reading a little MSN article about the worst cartoons ever made. Granted, I knew before I even clicked on the link there were going to be some of my favorites on the list. When they listed Transformers, I was only marginally surprised. Pokemon did not surprise me one bit. Then I scrolled down and saw the one cartoon that ruled my Saturday mornings. The people who wrote the article claimed that Jem and the Holograms belongs on the list of worst cartoons ever. WTF? That cartoon RULED! I own(ed) practically every single doll they ever made. I had the stage, the car, Synergy, the works! I spent days on end being Jem. She was by far the coolest rock star of my youth!

Then they go so far as to say that My Little Pony and She-ra weren't any better. I'm sorry, but I look at cartoons today compared to the ones that I grew up with and I'm sad. Sad that they seem to need to stick such mature themes in them (like the wizardry and the destroying of everything and everyone) I miss the days of Muppet Babies and He-Man and She-ra. When cartoons were strictly entertainment for little ones on Saturday mornings. Granted there are some good ones today too, but nothing seems to come close to the stuff that we grew up with.

Maybe that's just part of growing up. I'm sure that Glamorous Mom would say that her cartoons were way better than mine were. So what do you think? Check the whole list out here and see if your favorite is on the list. Do you agree? Disagree? Discuss. . .

In other news, the spawn have redeemed themselves thoroughly. I went to get my haircut this morning and they played so nicely whilst we were there that I didn't hear a peep out of them. So, maybe I'll go pick them up on Saturday like I'm supposed to. Because the truth of the matter is that once it gets to be about 10:00 on the morning after they've left me, I'm kind of wandering around aimlessly and am lost without them. I almost feel guilty for needing to be away from them, but I remind myself that it's best for everyone's sanity if we all get a break every now and then. Because I do love my kids with all my heart and they are my whole world. Just sometimes need to unplug from the world on occasion.

And just when I finished typing that sentimental little tidbit they started fighting again with the classic "He's touching me!" "I'm not doing anything to her, Mommy."

Ahhh, the joys of summer.

Monday, July 02, 2007

I Got Nothin'

Evidently the kids aren't the only ones whose brains shut down for the summer. I seriously do not know what to write about. I'm over tired, suffering from sun overexposure (which when you are the same shade as a freaking bottle of baby powder, it doesn't take much), and am currently listening to the children fight in the other room.

I had always wanted to have my kids close together. My brother and I are 7 years apart, and so I felt like we had kind of missed out on the whole "bonding" thing. And CJ and Diva have always been very close. Lately, however, they've elected to show how much they love each other by seeing who can annoy the other to the brink of insanity first. Sadly, they are both winning because I am about to lose my freaking mind.

Over the past month of summer, it's gotten progressively worse. To the point where I have threatened to find another job so that they would have to have their sorry butts in daycare. Numerous times. Which is of course followed by choruses of "No, no, Mommy! We'll be good. We promise!" Bah. I have also threatened to skip town for the rest of the summer, leaving them solely in the care of their father. Which is the one that seems to have the biggest effect on them. If you go and ready Rockstar Mommy's account of her desire to get out of the house, you'll get a much more hilariously written account of the feelings I've been dealing with for the past two weeks. Thankfully, Glamorous Mom is taking these people away from me on Friday night. I might "forget" to pick them up until Sunday. Because there may or may not be multiple alcoholic beverages consumed on Friday night, and I may or may not dance the happy dance of joy for hours on end. Which may or may not lead to me not getting up until noon on Saturday.