Thursday, July 13, 2006

An HTML Guru, I am not

I've been trying to personalize my blog a little bit more lately. SO I thought I'd add pictures of a few of my favorite things. (And I just wanted to have a picture of the yumminess that is my *sole* permissible famous-crush Dierks Bentley) But even after I resized the pictures, they are showing up HUGE. When I look at my blog in frontpage, though, they are fine. Help me, people! Are all the pictures over there ---> ginormous, or is it just my computer?

There have been some vivid dreams going on in this head of mine as of late. Perhaps it's from eating ice cream before bed. Or perhaps I'm going a leeeeetle bit crazy. Could be since the baseball is now over and I have BOTH CHILDREN IN MY HOUSE ALL FREAKING DAY. And they expect to be entertained CONSTANTLY and I want to pull all my hair out.

Anyway, dream #1 was just plain odd. I was teaching the entire Royal Family (Princes William and Harry included) how to properly apply makeup. Then I was showing them how to make the makeup. And in order for the goop to set up properly, it had to soak in the toilet for a half hour. When it came out of the toilet, it looked like something that should have been flushed down the toilet. Which in turn caused the princes to throw up all over everything. Then I woke up and made sure I hadn't puked all over myself from the disgustingness of it all.

But dream #2 has had me thinking all day. I was whining to someone about how hard it is to write an entire damn book and I told them that I was going to just give up on it all. Then they looked right at me and said "If you don't do it, you'll regret it your whole life. You'll spend the rest of your days wrestling with 'what ifs'."

And it's so true. I've always been an overly-optimistic kind of gal. When I imagine doing things, it's always the best from the start. When I wanted to be a lawyer, I went straight from college to the DA's office. When I wanted to be an actress, I went from my first audition to my Oscar acceptance. And when I finally realized that writing really was my passion, I went straight from Once Upon a Time to Happily Ever After without filling in any of the blanks.

I like things that are easy. Like singing and dancing and laughing. I love writing too. But it just isn't so easy. You need all these extra things in there that I didn't need when writing poetry or marrying off my friends in little stories. And it's hard. I see all my writing friends doing it though. Perservereing through all the hard times and pouring every ounce of blood, sweat and tears into their passion. They do it. And they get published. And here I sit. Afraid of the first rejection letter. Afraid of even writing "the end" on something that I do write. And I'd been thinking about letting go of it. Up until last night.

The stranger in my dream (who looked like one of our dear friends, but it wasn't him) was right. If I don't at least try it, I'll spend the rest of my life thinking about "what ifs". So I'm going to stick with it. And maybe I won't start again until the kids are in school and I have my sanity back. But I will do it. And I will take all the rejections in stride. Because even if that's all I ever get, at least I know that I gave it my best shot.

I also had a dream that gas was only $2.45 a gallon. Which had me singing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" all morning long. lol


ANO said...

I love me some Dierks! I have 2 live videos on of him performing.

Neurotic Mom said...

Found you through the BE battles, love your site.

.:kat:. said...

I'm just stalking neurotic mom --

the images look great shug --

the page fits fine in IE or MSN

huggin' you

liberalbanana said...

Ha ha, that's funny - I've been having crazy dreams a lot lately, too! Boyfriend says I have some wires crossed "up there."

I wrote a post about how to do something to personalize your blog last night! Check it out when you have time!

Oh - and about the "writing a book" thing: You can do it! (read in the voice of that crazy guy in the Adam Sandler "Waterboy" movie...)

Stacy Dawn said...

Oh yeah, the gas price was definately a dream!

Hey, remember I'm here when you get cracking again!

Merry Mama said...

that makes two of us