The benefits of having a virtual diary.

August 24, 2004 Someday I'm gonna go back to school. I know it shouldn't bother me because I've got a really great job that only improves the longer I'm there, but it really just irks me that I don't have a college degree. I loved school! I love learning, and I think that's why I hate not having that degree. But I made the choices I made because that was what was best for my family at the time. And in three years, I'm SO back to school!

I needed to see this today. The past couple of days have been not-so-stellar. Right now, I am killing time in between a major meltdown (thank GOD for girlfriends!) and picking up the kids from school. So, I decided to check out the bloggy place I had before I became Glamorous Redneck. And I started at my very first month of blogging. This is the entry I found. I can’t believe I really am doing this craziness! But, I somehow am. I am exhausted, on the brink of insanity, crazily overwhelmed, but I actually set my mind to something and achieved it. Granted, it wasn’t exactly three years from when I wrote that entry, but it was exactly when I was supposed to start.

So, this is what it’s like to have a goal and see the achievement of that goal not to far away in the distance? I think it’s almost better because I had forgotten that I made this goal for myself. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to be a teacher. And now, I’m doing it.

Like I said, I needed to be reminded of this today.

Where in the world is Glamorous Redneck?

I can tell you where she's not. She's not on a nice, warm beach, the waves lulling her to sleep. Nope, she's still here in Podunk, finally over a stint of -22 degree weather and spending the day off school trying to get a jumpstart on homework for the week.

Other things that have gone on in Glamorous Redneck's life:

-November: A very dear friend lost her 16 year old daughter to a car accident. We are still trying to process and we are still hurting.

-December: I survived my first semester on campus. I may have even made a friend or two. I also made the Dean's List. Shocking, I know!

-January: Started what I thought was going to be a fairly simple Spring semester. Missed the first day of classes because of snow. Also missed my morning class last Thursday (which was the fourth day of classes) due to the fact that the warmest it got was -13. We have not been outside for more than two minutes in over a week. But, after having the few classes that I did have, I am now absolutely terrified of this semester. I wrote 22 papers the last week of classes last semester. I will not be a bit surprised if that number is doubled this semester. I will also be ringing in the birthday that marks my last year of 20's. Not entirely sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am excited because I think my 30^th birthday (which also happens to be my golden birthday) will be spectacular, but the whole notion of turning 30 scares the crap out of me.

So, that's what's been up with me. I have disappeared into the chaos of the Holidays, grieving, and being a college student. I'm still not entirely sold on stopping blogging all together, but it is getting difficult to carve out the time necessary for me to attempt to be witty and engaging here. Plus, I have to save all my wittiness and engaging-ness for the eleven thousand papers I have to write.

But the main reason I've come out of hiding today is to thank the one and only Big Sky Girl (Her linkie is over -à there. I'm using a program that hasn't quite shown me how to do linkies, so just click over there. Her awesomeness will astound you) for giving me this totally sweet Lemonade award. Especially since the title of her blog post is oh-so-funny. However, I won't nominate anyone else because a) the people that I would nominate have already received the award and b) 99% of the blogs that I've linked to on my side bar are no longer active. Which means I really need to get back out there and find some more totally awesome bloggers. Maybe somewhere around the year 2140.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

It occurred to me the other day that I am sort of like the middle child here at school. Too young to fit in with the real "Non-traditionals" and too old to fit in with the whipper-snappers that are more concerned with where their next party is than "am I going to be getting myself any financial aid AT ALL next year?" It's an odd feeling, this middle child thing. I'm the oldest. Everything goes my way. I get the hard stuff so that by the time the wee little babies come around, it's a cake walk. So I kind of feel like I'm floating around in-limbo most days. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly not a bad thing. Just kind of. . .odd.

On the plus side, though, I've yet to fall again! And I do believe I've made some. . .erm. . .let's call them acquaintences. I really do have some super nice people in my education classes. The other classes seem to be full of people with the mindset that they are but robots, simply moving through the system. They don't speak to anyone unless directly spoken to. Or if they do speak, it's hushed little giggly whispers to the girl sitting next to them they've known since kindergarten. It makes it a little difficult to try and have discussions on things like Pride and Prejudice (Hello! Most awesomest book. EVER!) and The Remains of the Day (eh, not so much. He talks in proper British circles so that I have to re-read paragraphs many times. However, today in class it was a little better, so there may be hope. Now that we're like HALFWAY into the semster.

Now, I must be off. I have a short story that I need to get written. Creative Writing has been an awesome class for me! I haven't done any writing of any kind other than analytical essays in a very long time. So it's fun to get my little fantasy world back!

Embarassing Moments

It occurred to me that in my rash of tiredness, I forgot to tell you about my stellar first day as a student here at the college. I had put much thought into my back-to-school clothes shopping, and had obtained several outfits that say "I'm older than you, but not so old that my pants get pulled up to my chest." but also said "Because I am older than you, I will not try and dress like you, but I will look cute, dammit!" and so I was ready to go!

On the first day of school, I got up right when my alarm went off (at 6:15! An hour that was non-existant to me prior to this), did everything that I needed to do and was running perfectly on time. I got to my first class a couple minutes late, but that was due to the fact that I had not calculated the time it takes to get from my car into the building in my travel time. But I was feeling pretty confident.

After my first class was over, I had (and still have) about two hours to kill between classes, so I headed down to the "commuter's lounge" to eat my lunch. I wasn't even uncomfortable with the fact that I would be dining alone and actually welcomed the chance to get a head start on my reading. But, I made the stupid mistake of trying to text and walk at the same time. As I went down the little flight of TWO WHOLE STEPS, I misjudged my footing and ended up tripping down the last one. I landed flat on my face and hit my head on a table and chairs on the way down. Yes. I am AWESOME! I shook it off, and fortunately for me and my fragile ego, there was only three or four people that saw it. I pretended like it didn't hurt and made the comment "that's what I get for trying to do two things at once" and then sat down. I ended up with a minor bump on the side of my head that hit the chair, and a busted fingernail.

Stellar start to my first day, right?

Like I said, I am OH-SO-AWESOME!

Another run-down

I am tired. Tired of the political ads that are every other commercial every time I want to watch TV. Tired of Feeling sorry for poor Sarah Palin because the poor girl doesn't have a chance against all these big-time (and at some times extremely hostile) media peoples. Tired of getting up at 6:00 every morning. Tired of seemingly everyone I know (yes, I'm including YOU in here too, Missy! :) ) going to San Diego and it looks like my planned trip is disappearing by the moment (THANK YOU, crappy economy. Thank you so much for saving me from getting away from the frozen tundra in January. Lord knows I would have been miserable parked on the beach whilst everyone here was in their winter coats. You have truly saved my life.)

But! I am getting really good grades in school. I'm not quite sure how to react to it all. I haven't seen a report card with only A's and B's since I was in 7th grade (this was before I hated running and anything else that involved sweating and so I would get A's in P.E.). If this keeps up, I just might make the Dean's list. And then, I will be treating myself to something big. Not sure what it is yet, but it's gonna be big.

So, anyway, the real reason I'm posting is because there is a cool website that is giving away FREE purses for 24 hours in a couple of weeks. I looked, they are gorgeous. And I have not bought myself a new purse in a very, very, long time. Unlike some other people *cough* BSG *cough*. Even though I would really like to win, I also think it would be fun to at least KNOW someone who won. So go to here and enter. Even if you happen to be a boy reading this (really, does anyone even bother here anymore? It's not like I'm posting with any sort of regularity), what better way to surprise your significant other than a handbag that looks like you spent beaucoup bucks on it. I'm not sure about YOUR ladyfriends, but I know in MY house, my significant other would be rewarded handsomely for getting me a purse. So, go enter. Right now. I'll maybe blog again in another month. Or twelve. Whatever.

I am tired.

The School Thing

So, BSG asked in the comments yesterday:

How much more school do you have left? Are you doing online?

Which means I actually have something to blog about today! As I'm looking at it now, if I work my butt off for the next two years, I should be able to get the actual school part done in that amount of time. Then I'd just have my student teaching to get out of the way. So, if I can do it I should be done in about two and a half to three years. But, it all depends on if I can handle going to school full time, working part time, and still taking care of my family without turning into Uber Bitch from Hades. It shouldn't be too terrible, because there's only one night a week where I'm not home right around the same time the kids are home, and that's only for one semester.

Once I get all the stupid generals I have to retake (8:00 classes should be illegal for College Freshmen because I don't know too many people who actually made it to that class. Which is why I'm redoing it now), the rest of the classes are going to be a cakewalk. I was going to go for Elementary Education, but after looking at the class list required for that and looking at the class list required for Secondary English Education, I realized that was where I needed to be. One of the classes I'm taking this semester is simply called Novel. There are eight seemingly awesome books that I have to read for that class, one of which is Pride and Prejudice. Books I've wanted to read, but have never really taken the time to do so. Further down the line are even more awesome classes like Shakespeare, Short Story, American Lit and countless other good ones.

I finally got into the syllabus for one of this semester's classes yesterday, and it made me a little nervous for what's to come. One of the assignments is a group presentation. What if I'm that girl sitting in the corner that no one wants in their group because they've all been together for the past two years and are all friends and WHO in their RIGHT MIND would want some old mom in their group? It totally feeds on old insecurities. What if nobody likes me? What if I suck at it all? What if, what if, what if?? It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help but be a little afraid of what people will think of me. I've always had this inherent necessity for everyone to like me. And while it's gotten better, the feeling is still there, in the back of my mind, just waiting for an opportunity like this to rear its ugly head.

Do any of you ever feel like this? And if you do, how do you counter act it? I've been trying to remind myself that I'm not going to school to make friends, but it doesn't seem to quell the fear that I'll be THAT GIRL.

A Summary of Summer

Mostly I'm just tired of seeing the snow from a couple of posts down. Seems like eons ago that it was THAT cold. We've been running like crazy people. It's been fabulous. A few points:

Community Ed Baseball - Diva and CJ both had crappy baseball years. Their teams one one game each. CJ does a good job, it just wasn't their year. Diva's team, however, was. . .well. . .it was very obvious that they were very young. Diva had more fun being a cheerleader--weather she was on the field or off the field--than she did actually playing. They were very glad when it was over.

Family Vacation - I had high aspirations for the Stimulus check. We were going to get back home to San Diego. Then the crappy oil cartel had to go all insane and the hop in gas prices kept us close to home. But we still made it to Duluth, which is waaaay up at the top of this state and we are waaay down at the bottom of it. But it was gorgeous and I want to live there now. Don't know how I'd feel about the frigity of the winter (the city is on Lake Superior, so it gets way more snow than we do, courtesy of something called "lake effect snow"). We had tons of fun, and are most likely going to make going up north an annual trip.

School - We're done with our back to school supply shopping. For all three of us. Diva has the same teacher that CJ had in second grade, and CJ has his first male teacher. They are both very excited for school to start. As am I. For them. These children need to be in school because I am seriously on the brink of insanity here. I start school a week from today. Not entirely sure how I feel about that. Maybe if I decide to start blogging more than quarterly, I'll have more thoughts on it.

The Olympics - Are addicting this year. Courtney talked about how great the events have been. I wanted to give poor Alicia Sacramone a big hug after the balance beam incident of the team finals. And that Shawn Johnson is just too cute for words. When you hear her talk, she's just so gracious and sweet. It's nice to see that there are still people in the public eye that it's worth kids to look up to. And that Michael Phelps? Holy hannah! That guy is insane! And also sweet. I just got done reading an article on the NBC Olympics page about a friendship he forged with a kid that eventually succumbed to cancer. That takes a special person. On top of all the medals, to hear that he's like that just makes him even cooler.

Now, on to the important factor of the games. The US may not be winning the most gold medals, but am I the only one noticing that we have the BEST LOOKING athletes at the games? Hooo, damn! That Ryan Lochte is enough to send my little heart into palpitations. And the boys in their tight swimwear? Insanity, I tell you!

So, that's all I've got. Off to watch all the Olympics that I've DVR'd over the past couple of days. Because while these have been the best games we've seen in as long as I can remember, I am the only one in my house with any sort of interest in the games. So, I have to watch them at very strange times.

Blushing

It was a beautiful day, much like it is now, only it was eight years ago. The sun was bright in a crystal clear sky. I stood on the front steps of the "big church" in our town, smiling until my face felt like it was going to fall right off of my head.

A little while later, I had a slight panic attack. CB's mom was driving me crazy with questions about making sure I'd done everything that needed to be done. So my mom locked the door. With just her, my very best friend, and myself locked in the family room, it all hit me. I was getting married. I had a child. Life was most certainly NOT going to be what I had dreamed it would.

I recovered, and stood at the back of the church with Glamorous Dad. He whispered that it wasn't too late. He'd give me two tanks of gas to hit the road and never look back. I laughed. Then the doors opened. I stood at the back of my church, holding on to my dad. All my very best friends stood in front, and many of my other friends sat in the pews. It was perfect. Not exactly as I'd dreamed it would be, but close. Was I making the right decision here? Was I sure he was Mr. Right? And then I saw him. Standing there waiting for me. And I realized right then and there that I was THE luckiest girl in the whole world.

Eight years later, as I reflect on everything that day was and everything that we've been through, I realize that it's still true. I have the most perfect man for me. Sure, the relationship hasn't always been perfect, but I was never under the delusion that it would be. But WE are perfect. He's the other half of my soul. We balance each other out. Where he's anal and perfectionist, I'm easygoing and just go with the flow. Where I'm impulsive, he's thoughtful. It works, and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

So, happy anniversary to my Country Boy. I love you more than words could ever begin to express.

Done & Back

So, I finished my first semester of being a college student in almost a decade. I ended up with two a's and a b. Not to shabby if I do say so myself.

Days are now spent on catching up on work that will be or has been missed (I'm venturing on field trips with the young'uns this week and was horrifically sick last week), recovering from said sickness, figuring out what I can do with the kids for the summer, and helping get our 10 year High School reunion in order.

Doing this gave me a little glimpse into a relationship my friend had with a boy. He recalled fondly warm nights doing things that I don't really need to know (he didn't mention them anyway). And I wondered if The Ex from high school ever thinks about me that way. If he were the poetic type, would he recall that night when we sat together for hours and talked about everything and nothing? Would he right all the rumors and tell me that he never said the things they told me he said? Maybe he would recall the weekend of his brother's wedding when he was everything to me. Or maybe it was all so ridiculously one-sided that I've lived in a fantasy for the past thirteen years. What then? Maybe it's better to hold on to the fantasy than to wonder what it would have been like to know it was real.

Ugh. Heavy for a first blog in almost two months. But that's where I am today. Letting go of holding on to a past that I've held with a death grip for oh so many years. Realizing that he never really was what I wanted him to be. And that all the things I wanted in him have been standing next to me in someone else for all these years. Not that it's gone unappreciated or unnoticed. But it's a realization today. He was never good enough for me because CB was just around the corner. Real and wonderful and everything I always wanted. We've been dating for ten years. And tomorrow we will have been married for eight of those ten. It hasn't been all that pretty or easy, but it's my own little fairy tale. Because even though we collapse in bed, utterly exhausted and sometimes having barely spoken, with the kids making us want to pull our hair out, I know I've gotten my Happily Ever After. And that's a real fairy tale.

DO NOT WANT!

Can someone get a hold of Mother Nature? Because I'm pretty sure she missed the memo on this whole global warming thing.

Alternately titled: The Twins baseball season opens today. Someone please explain to me WHY they think they need an outdoor stadium?????

Hades, Thy Name is Snow

It's supposed to be Spring, right? I mean yesterday my calendar said that it was the vernal Equinox. So why, then am I getting bombarded with inch upon stinking white inch of snow today? It started at about 6 last night and it is still snowing now. CB says that we're supposed to get at least seven inches of the crap. So, the kids and I decided to make the best of it. Only two little children forgot their snowpants at school. Which meant *I* got to have fun in the snow all by myself. And I built a snow man. I call him Word to Your Mutha:Note the tres chic baseball hat cocked to the side cuz it's hot like that. He has since been annihilated by a certain little boy who was repaid with an impromptu water war in the house.

Now I'm just hoping that the plows get out and do their jobs so CB and I can head to civilization and meet a certain Superstar for lunch tomorrow. We're staying in a super nice hotel and I will not have any children with me for two whole days! Well, a day and a half, but still WOOO HOOO! There are margaritas and glasses of wine with my name on them. If we can ever get out of Podunk.

Contemplations on the whole college thing.

Could it be? Two posts in one week? Will the Glamorous One be back to stay? Will I ever stop asking bizarre rhetorical questions? Only time shall tell. . .

Now that I've got almost a whole semester of college behind me, I feel like I can be contemplative on the whole process. I was thinking last night about all the hassle that friends of mine went through back when we were 21 and 22, them trying to decided where they wanted to start sending their resumes, me a mother of two working full-time at a job that I am still not entirely sold on. Both of the friends I was thinking of went into teaching. Both of them are STILL in school. They took a couple of years off to secure jobs, but are now in grad school, one trying to do it with her husband in grad school as well and a baby due any day now. The other doing it at a more convenient time, having come out of a marriage to an uber-ass that essentially cheated on her after a little under a month (yes MONTH) of marital bliss. So, I get what they are doing, and they get what I am doing.

The thing that scares me the most is that the things I thought daunting the first time I was in college (what if I don't get accepted to the Education program? How do I write a two page essay about why I want to do what I want to do? Am I organized enough to structure an entire day for kids that aren't mine? Am I PATIENT enough to deal with a room full of 20(+?) kids that are not mine?), are even more so now. Because I, like, care and stuff. I care that if I don't succeed at this, I'm wasting precious money that could have instead gone for my KIDS' college experience. I worry that I'm being selfish because there is going to come a time where this takes time away from my kids. I worry that they will resent the fact that I went back to school. Add these on top of the previous worries, and if I don't center myself, I'll drive myself crazy. So when I get those feelings of incompetency, I remind myself that I am doing really well right now. And that I know I am supposed to be a teacher. I know that I can connect with kids on a level that not a lot of people can (I contribute that mostly to the fact that I am horrendously immature and refuse to change). I KNOW that I can make a difference. I just don't always know that I can do what it takes to get to that point.

Another thing that I find interesting is how quickly I fell back into old habits. It didn't take me very long to remember how to ramble along in a paper to finally make it make some sense. Nor did it take me long to remember how to pick out the important pieces of a book without having to read every single page of it. Am I cheating myself? Maybe. But I'm also trying to break myself of it, which is why I'm glad that the classes I'm taking right now are Freshman/Sophomore level classes. They aren't as in-depth as the classes that are coming will probably be.

I'm looking at applying for the Education program at least by Spring semester, and if not then, for sure by Fall of 2009. That means I really only have 3 years to do this. To force myself to grow up in some ways, but still hold on to that "thing" that helps kids who have not the best parents come to me and be so excited to tell me that they lost a tooth (he's a little boy in Diva's class. Problem child extrordinnaire, but him and I clicked the last time they went on a field trip). And sometimes THAT's what scares me the most.

Hey, remember me?

Remember how I used to, like, blog and stuff? And I used to see y'all out here on the interwebs and it was oh so much fun? Yeah, I do too. But life has interfered with my slacking capabilities as of late, so there has been no time for me to blog. However, I'm feeling somewhat witty today, so I figured I would give a rundown of life to date.

CB's job situation - CB got a new job with the people right here in Podunk. He loves it and they love him. He took a huge paycut, but has been on overtime since he started, and he's not driving 70 miles per day, which means we're actually farther ahead than we would have been had he not lost his job.

My School - Rocks! I've got two A's and a B right now. This is the type of mid-term report that I have not seen since--oh maybe--11th grade. The classes are pretty cool and I'm hoping and praying that I can just be a full time student come Fall.

Weight Loss Challenge - Going pretty OK. Our team is sitting steady at 11th place out of 43 teams, so I'm pretty excited about that. I've only lost 13 pounds, but have gone down two sizes in clothes, so that is awesome. I've had lots of fun buying a few new things--none of them over $20 because I LOVE winter clearance time!!!

Ummm. . .what else? That's pretty much it, I guess. Running the kids from place to place takes up a lot of my time too. CJ is doing basketball (I refrained from bursting into song when he said he wanted to do this.) and loving it (I just may get sports out of this child yet!!!). Diva is doing dance (as am I) and they are both in Scouts. Wanna buy some girl scout cookies???

So, we're pretty much busy every night of the week. Which is good because it's all fun stuff, but there are some days when something gets canceled, and I just want to cry happy tears of joy because I can put on my fabulously comfy sweat pants and stay in my nice warm house. It's been so cold here lately that it is impossible to even go from the house to the car. But yesterday it was gloriously sunny and actually above freezing! Today it's even warmer! Thank the Good Lord that spring is FINALLY on its way!

2008 Has to be Better, Right???

Fun Ways to spend the last days of 2007:

Win $100,000 on a scratch-off ticket

Travel to NYC and be there when the ball drops

Travel to Las Vegas and watch the crazy man clear a 322 foot cycle jump

Be in Minneapolis and spend New Year’s Eve toasting your very best friends

Not Fun Ways to spend the last days of 2007 (aka how I spent them):

Have husband be informed that he will no longer have a job sometime within the next 4-6 weeks

Have one vehicle’s transmission slowly dying, the other one refusing to start, and the other one leaking oil of some sort (2 of the three are now fixed, but still)

Wait ever so patiently for the rest of 2007 to be over so you can just get OUT of this madness for the love of all that is Good and Holy.

So, the car and van have been fixed. The truck’s transmission has been crapping out slowly over the last three years (the fact that it’s 14 years old and has 230,000 miles on it *might* be a contributing factor, but you know), so we’re just hoping it doesn’t crap out any time soon. And I have been constantly alternating between the mantras “Please, God, only one thing at a time” and “I am trusting. Everything’s going to be just fine”.

CB has a meeting today with a company right here in Podunk, so we’re feeling cautiously optimistic. It would be nice for him to work in town after spending the better part of the last eight years driving at least 30 miles round trip. The last two has been 70 miles round trip.

I’m also doing the weight loss thing for real this time. I’m on a team with three other people (We’re the Rockettes! So fun!), and there’s a community-wide weight loss contest. What’s the prize? $1,000! Which means $250 per person to buy new clothes after all the weight comes off. Sounds awesome, right? And if the money won’t motivate me to do it for real, I am not sure what will!

So, I’m being Miss Always-Look-At-The-Glass-Half-Full and saying that 2008 is going to be a year of awesome change. New job for CB, school for me, healthier eating habits for all of us, and who knows what else is in store?

What are you most looking forward to in ’08?

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

My dad's far away. He lives in San Diego. I haven't seen him since my wedding almost 8 years ago. But sometimes he calls me on my birthday. One year I told him how much I missed the sunsets back home. He told me he was going to send me one for my birthday. He did and it was fabulous. Today I received another one for Christmas. My Daddy sent me this:
It's the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. And it came just when I was feeling weepy and nostalgic, so the tears are still burning behind my eyes.

Merry Christmas everyone.

God Bless,

The Glamorous Redneck

The Day from Hades

Mondays and I have never gotten along well. I'm sure that I've said that here before. But yesterday has to be tops as the worst Monday in the history of forever!

It was all fine until I was finished with work and on my way home. I had a craving for beer cheese soup, so I figured I would just run in and out of the liquor store in town and grab (hopefully) a can of beer. Of course, they don't just sell cans of beer, so I had to buy a six pack. I was freaking out about the whole transaction because I just am not a drinker. Certainly not where I'd buy alcohol at the store in town. I'm not even really sure why I get so panicked about the thought of going in there, but I'd much rather have a margarita or a cosmo in semi-civ than anywhere in this town.

So, anyways, I make my brown-bagged purchase and go out to my van. A van which I had left running because it's freaking cold here and CB always tells me that it's bad on the engine to turn it off and on quick-like on cold weather days. What he failed to tell me, though, is that static electricity can make automatic door locks lock when you don't necessarily want them to (You can see where this is going, right?). I got to the door and tried to open it, only to find that it had magically (magic I now know as STATIC ELECTRICITY) locked itself. With my keys and cell phone inside.

I went back into the store and asked the oddly overfriendly clerk if I could use her phone to call a friend. I did and when my friend picked up the phone I explained the situation and asked her if she could please come and pick me up. "Where are you?" she asked. "Ummm. . . the liquor store." I replied.

This was met by much giggling on both of our parts, but she picked me up, I got home and made my beer cheese soup and it was FABULOUS! The kids didn't like it, but they don't like anything that isn't pre-processed or covered in spaghetti sauce.

Then, Diva told me that a birthday party she was supposed to go to last Friday--which was canceled because her friend got sick--was rescheduled for last night. So I tried to call the parents and got no answer. Then I called the pizza place and asked if there was a birthday party going on there. They said yes, so I assumed Diva was right and took her down to the pizza place. There WAS a party going on, but it was not the one that we were supposed to be going to.

By the time yesterday was over, I was just thankful that I had survived. So far today has been uneventful, so I'm attributing all the chaos that was yesterday to the fact that Mondays are the worst. day. ever.

I Can Haz iCoaster?

When I was little, there was always a very, very, VERY long Christmas list of all the things I wanted Santa to bring me. But there was one year that there was just one thing on my list. The one thing I wanted more than anything in the whole wide world. What was it, you ask? A Cabbage Patch Kid.

Now, most of you are old enough to remember that right around the time when CPKs first came out, there was a HUGE craze for them. You couldn't find them anywhere. This happened to be the year that both my Aunt (she's only 4 years older) and I wanted one. So my mom and grandma both went traipsing about SoCal at the butt crack of dawn every Saturday morning from November on until they found a store with CPKs in stock. My Aunt and I both got what we wanted for Christmas.

Fast forward a few years to the Tickle Me Elmo insanity. That year was the first year that I went Black Friday shopping. There were grown women fighting in the toy isle over who got the last Tickle Me Elmo. There were women pushing and shoving to get in to the store. I seriously heard someone yell "I know where you live!" when someone cut in front of them. It was also the last year that I went shopping in that particular city on Black Friday.

I laughed at the insanity of it all "Ha ha!" thought I, "I am so glad that I am not having to do that. Besides, I would never go through THAT much trouble for my kid."

Guess what? I lied.

Fast forward yet again to this Holiday season. CJ has ONE thing and ONE thing only on his list. "Mommy, I know it's really, really, really expensive and I probably can't get it, but all I want for Christmas is an iCoaster." I agreed with him that it was expensive, but I secretly knew that we would get it for him. I'd seen them everywhere, and so I figured I would just wait until I got my Christmas bonus from work, then go buy the thing. Plus, I started looking on eBay to see if I could find the thing cheaper.

Now that it's time to actually START Christmas shopping, I could not find the damn toy anywhere! And on eBay, it's going for $150! I talked to a friend who's son told him the same thing and he informed me that a certain store DID have them in stock. So I called yesterday. Needless to say, they were all sold out. But I was determined! So I spent most of the day yesterday calling every store within a 150 mile radius. Every single one either had incompetent people in the toy department who didn't know what an iCoaster was, or they were out of stock. Finally at noon when I'd all but given up, I made one last call. Lo and behold, they had ONE left in stock. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of an iCoaster.

Now, there was no violence involved, but I never thought I would have to call ELEVEN different stores to find ONE stupid toy that will just take up more room in my already too small house and probably only be cool for about a week before CJ's done with it. But he will have the ONLIEST thing he wants for Christmas for the love of all things Good and Holy.

So, looking to earn some extra moolah? Find iCoasters and sell them on eBay. One even went for $180. At $60-$80 to buy, it's a pretty good turn around, don't you think?

Random things I want to yell at random people*

Just because it’s the way YOU would do things, doesn’t always make it the RIGHT way to do things.

Your last name means nothing outside of this city. Grow up and realize it.

If I have to hear about your stupid ego and all your denial one more time, I just may go postal.

You are an asshole. Anyone who cheats on their wife should be strung up by their balls and left for dead.

Why is it so difficult to be NICE to everyone?

Why do you treat people you barely know better than you treat your own flesh and blood?

Clean your rooms! Yesterday!

Get a job and get your life in order.

Stop calling me for advice.

Stop being so immature. Grow some gumption and move on with your life.


I promise I’m not having a meltdown. Just a little sampling of the drama that has been in my life as of late. And not really all of it belongs to me. I just hear things (which happens on occasion in a small town), and I’m sick of stupid crap. But do you think I can say anything about it to the people that are being stupid? That’s a big negatory.

So, aren’t you glad you stopped here today? You get to deal with Crazy Carrie and all her Drama.

I’ll be better after Thanksgiving, I promise.

*names have not been used in order to protect what little sanity I have left.

It's a smell. A smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells. . . .smelly.

For those of you that have already had babies, do you remember those pregnancy cravings (for those of you that haven’t had babies. . .just wait!)? How you’re all “I must have this one thing RIGHT NOW and if I don’t I will just continue to puke until you (DH) feel sorry enough for me to just go and get me some damn CHEESECAKE!!!”? Well, I have been blessed in the fact that those cravings never went away for me (no puking, however, so that’s a bonus) except they are a lot less often. But when they hit, I am OBSESSED with whatever I’m craving until I eat it and the craving is gone.

The last couple of weeks that craving has been for Chicken Fried Steak. I know, right? So not healthy, or really all that hard to make for that matter. But every time I was at the grocery store, I would forget. Until I got home and I was all “CRAP! The CHICKEN FRIED STEAK!” Wednesday, however, I finally remembered at the store, and while I was already planning dinner for that night, Thursday was just around the corner. Thursday, glorious Thursday!

I obsessed all day and as soon as it was time to start making dinner, I did a little happy dance out to the kitchen. I made my mashed potatoes, country style gravy, and buttered corn. Then I popped the CFS into the oven and set the timer. Everything was going according to plan. . .

When the timer buzzed, I made my way back out there and popped open the oven door. An odd colored smoke (blue-ish gray-ish brown-ish) came billowing out. Now, while I’m no Rachel Ray and have been known to burn a thing or two in my time, it really is near impossible to burn CFS patties. I looked at them and they didn’t look burnt. So I pulled them out and THAT’S when I noticed it. The little blue and red pool of melted plastic on the bottom of the oven. That’s when I established what the funky, yet familiar, smell was that had been permeating the kitchen since I opened the oven door.

Turns out CJ had left his prized eraser (he’d just gotten it for taking a reading test & getting a good grade on it) on my table. When I put the pan on the table before putting it in the oven, the eraser must have stuck to the bottom of the pan and fallen off when it started heating up.

Imagine if you will, the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie’s dad has been looking forward to the Turkey all Christmas morning, only to have it be devoured by Bumpass’ dogs. While there were no dogs present in my story, THAT’S the devastation that I felt.

And we ended up having Chinese afterwards. Which is good, but still not CFS.

CJ felt horribly bad, so I shared the story about the time I made my mom go on an Easter egg hunt and I hid an egg in the oven. She didn’t find it and I forgot about it. Until she started preheating the oven. Needless to say, we had a good laugh about it and I made my chiropractor laugh so hard she couldn’t even adjust me. So, it all turned out all right in the end, I guess. And after a mid-day full of people dumping bad news on me, I really needed to laugh.

How about you? Any good plastic-in-the-oven tales to share?

The One Without a Title

So CB and I have been on a "Friends" kick lately. It started this summer when we came across it on one of the cable channels from 10:00 - 11:00 at night. This has not boded well for us. Because we are old and we were usually asleep by 10:15, 10:30 at the latest. Now we are up until 11:00 or later because I had forgotten just how damn funny that show is. And CB had never really watched it.

But then! Technology FINALLY made it's way out here! We have a DVR cable box! I can record "Friends" every time it is on! And watch it when I am awake and the children are not!

I am totally understanding why people call their TiVo their boyfriend/girlfriend. I can ask it to do whatever I want it to! And it will do it! The FIRST time! With NO ARGUMENT! It's the best relationship a girl could ask for!

In other news, I met with an advisor yesterday to find out exactly how bad off I was. Turns out I do not have to retake speech, which made me very happy. Because while I am much more opinionated now than I was when I took it the first time around, the thought of having to take it as a lecture with 100 other people (I took it as a college class when I was a Senior in HS, along with 10 of my very best friends and 10 other people that I at least knew) was a little daunting.

I do, however, have to take Psychology again. This sucks. For some reason, all that crap just shoots right over the top of my head. The first time I took it as an independent study class (again in HS) and was in tears by the end of the second chapter of the book because it just didn't make sense. The second time I took it, I ended up getting knocked up and so I felt like crap and wasn't able to concentrate. But, third time's a charm, right? Hopefully that's the case with Biology as well since I've taken that one twice too. Gah. Now I remember why I quit the first time.