Thursday, September 07, 2006

Letting Go

She was so excited today, but I couldn’t help but feel sad. I mean, she’s my baby. But she’s been waiting to go to school for two years. So as much as I wanted to keep her with me, I had to let her go. And it hurt like hell.

Overall I did pretty well, I thought. It helps that her teacher is a friend & was CJ’s for the past two years. But that didn’t stop the tears from falling just a little bit in the classroom. And it sure didn’t stop the sob-fest that came on in the car.

But why is it so sad for me? I’ve known this day would come for the last five years. It just came so fast. I know that’s what everyone says, but it’s true! I can’t believe that these two kids who just eight years ago were not even figments of my imagination are now in school.

I can’t wait to hear about her day! And she can’t wait to learn how to read all by herself. I’m also excited to just watch them continue to grow. To see the interests that form, the friends they make, and the new memories at school.

On top of all of that, though, it’s still so hard to let them go. Sometimes I want to just freeze time exactly where it is right now. But each and every phase has more excitement and memories to be made. I know that I don’t really have a choice, but I like to believe that I do. Because I could continue treating them like babies. I could never let them do anything or go anywhere. I could keep them shut in my house and never give them the chance to make any mistakes. But who would that benefit? So I won’t do that. I let them go full of excitement and fear and trepidation. And I can only pray it all turns out OK.

6 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

They are gonna be fine, and do great!

Now *I* would like to stay in the house and never go out, but I don't think I will be allowed to...

kilowatthour said...

ohhh, i can't wait to have kids. i'm even looking forward to their first days of school and the crying that will surely ensue. babies! now!

(thanks for stopping by my blog!)
-kwh

BSG said...

It'll be fine. McKenzy starts school next year. That's going to be ugly. I may have to fly home just to hold Steph's hand on the first day.

Kel said...

I can understand how hard it must of been, even when you know they want it so much.

Just knowing that Little Man has hit preschool has made me shed a tear or two....

((Hugs))

ficklechick said...

I went through the same thing when my kids went off to kindergarten. I thought I was done with the sadness, but it hit me hard again when my oldest moved out to go to college.

It never ends!

Molly said...

Just think what happy and social butterflies they will be, that is the only thing that gets me through the day after I have "dumped" Ned off at daycare! I think they have a lot more fun than we know about, and that is exactly what kids should do. Chin up!