Sunday, September 24, 2006

Glamorous Guest Post

As an added bonus to this week's renter, I offered Beth a chance to do a guest post. And I've been waiting with baited breath for the end result. I can tell you that it's freaking HILARIOUS! It's all completely satirical, so if you don't get that kind of humor (which I know that my three interweb friends get, so really this disclaimer is unnecessary), you should just skip this post.

So, without further ado, I present a guest post:

When asked to do a guest post during my rental period, I thought, ok, I
have nothing of interest to add to my own blog at the moment, what can I
offer to a Glamorous Redneck? Then it hit me. I live amongst rednecks. I
*am* a redneck, yet, I have never met a /Glamorous Redneck/.

According to Wikipedia:

"Redneck women are sometimes portrayed as sexually promiscuous as the
urban stereotype. Daisy Dukes is a name for the extremely small shorts
worn by the character Daisy Duke on the television program (and 2005
film) 'The Dukes of Hazzard. Rednecks are often broad-brushed as lacking
education or being ignorant."

Oh, that hurts. I haven't done the deed since Bubba ran off with
Larlene, the bar maid down at the Blue Horse Bar and Grill, two years
ago. And trust me- my fat ass isn't going to fit in Daisy Dukes-I'd be
lucky to get them up over my calves. As for lacking an education? I can
count to 10- 20 if I use my toes, 40 if I stomp my feet.

I envy Glamorous Redneck. I will never get out of this holler and live
the good life. If I could win the lottery, I'd buy me a new double-wide,
4-wheeler and a Chevy truck-with a gun rack, of course. I want to know
her secrets. How does a redneck woman become glamorous? Please, Mrs.
Glamorous Redneck, share your secrets. Redneck women all over the
country could learn from you. Write a book. Use me as your example.
Before and after. You have achieved what all redneck women want- living
in an Avon world with a Mary Kay attitude. Do it for us. Teach us, oh
great, glamorous one.

(This is meant as sarcasm-for one I totally am a redneck and I don't
give a flying pig's butt what anyone thinks. I'm proud of where I come
from as I am sure Mrs. Glamorous Redneck does. If the post offends you,
take some white out to your monitor).

Like what you read? Then make sure you stop on over to Beth's place. Feel free to give her some of your own glamorous pointers. I'll be back when the medicine haze is completely gone and I can justify the questions she raises with an appropriately amusing response.

7 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

Help me out here. How do you get the pig to fly?

Is it some sort of catapault contraption? And if so, shouldn't we really call it a pigapault?

This is what I think about...

Anonymous said...

"You have achieved what all redneck women want- living
in an Avon world with a Mary Kay attitude."

Laugh. Out. Loud!

Goodness. *sigh* I love a good laugh now and then.

mominprogress said...

LOL great post. off to check out her digs.

EC said...

That was too funny! I don't think I could do anything nearly as funny as that, but I can give it a try, if you still want me to ;)

Thanks for taking me in for a week, I look forward to meeting some of your readers!

Stacy Dawn said...

That's hilarious!

Bug said...

*chuckle* That was cute! Going over to see her now :o)

Beth said...

Thanks for the comments y'all! Ok, well I shouldn't be thanking you, ok yes I should because I wrote the post. I'm off to water the hogs.