Friday, August 25, 2006

The (not so) Many Loves of Glamorous Redneck. Or, Y'all asked for it.

It was a unanimous by the three or four people that commented on it, so I present to you:

(100 Glamorous Things # 30 & 31)

I said in my 100 Things that I’ve been in love three times. These are the ones I count as TWUE WUV (a la The Princess Bride). There were two other boys that I thought I really did love, but that was Jr. High and I was confused. So to entertain you today, I give you my five favorite boys.

Boy # 1—He was my first real boyfriend. I had dated guys before, but this was the first to actually call me his girlfriend. Now that I look at him, he really wasn’t that cute. But he was a bad boy. We were in eighth grade and he would sneak a cigarette every day before he got on the bus. Then he’d cram a bunch of cinnamon gum in his mouth to mask it. I do believe this is what made me allergic to cinnamon gum. Up until him, I LOVED cinnamon everything. But the smell alone now is enough to make me puke. I almost died when he told me he loved me! Eek! We’ll be together forever and it will be FANTASTIC! Bleurgh.

Luckily he broke up with me a month after he said it. He’d given me a half of a ying-yang necklace (he wore the other half), and the day he broke up with me (after I’d spent an hour fuming about it & being consoled by my best friend, who happened to be a guy & gorgeous!) I threw the damn thing at him. After we made up and were able to talk about it, he told me that it had cut him on his chin. Serves him right. Bastard! lol

Boy # 2—He was my best friend. He had been since 6th grade. And when I moved to Virginia he was the ONLY person from the town I lived in that actually wrote to me. When I lived there, we would spend at least two hours on the phone. Every night. Seriously, what can you talk about for two hours with someone that you saw at school all day? But I did love him. He was the only person (besides Heather) who knew absolutely all of my secrets. We could talk about anything. And isn’t that what you want in a relationship? Plus, he had these blue eyes that reminded me of a wolf. They were beautiful. Add to it his jet black hair and that he was a skateboarder & I was hooked!

When we had been writing for about six months, he signed a letter “I love you”. Not just “Love, B” or something like that. It was a statement. I called him that night and he told me that he had for a long time. Well, thanks for telling me that now, moron! But, as it happened with everyone, the letters slowed down. I saw him again when we were 18, and all he wanted to do was go hide in the desert to get high. This was not the guy that I had known for years. I said good-bye to him that day and I haven’t spoken to him since. Last I heard he was in jail for getting busted with meth. It kills me, but I guess that’s what happens sometimes.

Boy # 3—Is The Ex (we’ll call him T). He was one of the first people to actually talk to me when I moved here. And it was funny because his best friend (we’ll call him J) and I sat together in a class and I actually had a crush on HIM, not T. Besides, T had a girlfriend and I considered him waaay out of my league. He is a hottie. That’s all there is to it. Brown hair, brown eyes, athletic and a year-round tan. Yummy.

Anyway, T, J, and I would hang out quite often. Usually to kill time before J had to leave for a sport of one kind or another (I’m so not getting into specifics because if someone would come across this and be able to figure it out, I would DIE.). So, before long I had a crush on T. And when he broke up with his girlfriend, I secretly wished I’d get a chance.

He asked me to meet him at a game, and when he didn’t show, I was pissed. But with like two minutes left in the third quarter, he finally got there. Then he walked me home. And I wish every day that I could consider this one my first kiss. It was freezing cold outside, and a light snow was falling. He walked me to my door, asked if I wanted to go out, and then he kissed me. Like a movie, people. It was per-fect.

And I was a goner. The rest of high school was spent alternating between hating him so much that daggers would shoot out of my eyes and loving him so much that I would do anything to be with him. I don't believe the feeling was ever mutual. There was a part of me that hoped, but I just know him and highly doubt that he felt as strongly as I did.

Now we’re both married with kids and the last time I saw him, he seemed happy. And I know I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. But evidently, that doesn’t stop the dreams or the wondering “what if” or wondering if he ever felt the same way. Because no one ever outright said it, but I know I loved him. And there’s a part of me that probably always will. Because he was/still is an awesome friend to have.

This one is the one that scares me the most to write. Like I said, I don't think the feeling was mutual, and there is no way that he knows how bad I had it for him. I can't even tell you how nervous I am about this. And if word gets out to my "real life" friends that I have this blog, this entry could very well get deleted. So enjoy it while you can! :)

Boy #4—Isn’t nearly as dramatic as # 3. He was another one that was and still is a very dear friend. He liked the movie Grease for goodness sake! I didn’t think that was possible! He’s another looker too. Actually, when the hottie came to offer cleaning my carpets, I had to do a double take because I thought it was him. And we never actually dated. More like we just had a lot of really steamy makeout sessions in the middle of the night. It was my kind of relationship. And he was almost everything I thought I wanted. Not only did he have excellent taste in movies, but he also loved to dance! Who wouldn’t want to date this guy? But for whatever reason, he had a thing for girls that were intangible. Maybe we had that in common too.

He still is an awesome guy, but those feelings of “why can’t I have YOU?” have long since vanished. I just love hanging out with him. Plus, he’s an instant dance partner!

Boy #5—The One. I had never believed in love at first sight till I met this guy. I had just finished my last go-around with # 3 and I was officially done. With. Boys. (isn’t that always when the good one shows up?). I had just started at a crappy summer job—that paid really well. And while I was just starting, he was in the home stretch of being done there. He had just graduated from tech school and was off to a town an hour and a half away to start a new job. When I first saw him from afar, I was like “who is THIS guy?” He walked like he was The Stuff and he was wearing a cowboy hat and a wife-beater. Ugh. Another one of *those* guys. No thank you very much!

Then I was introduced to him. And YOWZA! His eyes are amazing! They’re brown with flecks of gold in them. I’ve never seen anything like them! And when he smiled at me, I was done for. But I was so not going there because I was done with boys who were hot and knew that they were. Only the walk was an act. He didn’t realize that every single girl in that place was swooning over him. Problem? He had a girlfriend. “Perfect.” I thought. “Now I don’t have to worry about anything because he’s spoken for.”

I met him on Wednesday. On Thursday he brought me flowers. On Friday he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. And by the next Friday, we were officially a couple.

The first time he told me he loved me was another "movie moment". He was getting ready to head back home (to the new town). We were standing by his truck and hugging. A light rain started to fall and he looked me dead in the eye and said "I love you." And for the first time, I knew he wasn't lying and said it right back. Having the words out in the open was incredible, even though I'd felt it for weeks.

I knew right away. I just knew that I was going to marry this man. And he felt the same. We were looking at engagement rings within the month and making plans for where we were going to live when I was done with school. Then CJ came along and things got pushed a lot farther ahead than I thought they would be when I was 20. But, I know now that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. And even though it hasn’t been an easy road and there was a time not so long ago that I would secretly wish a piano would fall on him from the heavens, I know he’s The One. I love him more than anyone should be able to love another person. Of course there are still days that he drives me nuts (like last week when he came to bed an hour after I’d fallen asleep and turned the damn light on), but the good far outweigh the bad.

So there you have it. The boys of my life. They were (mostly) great guys and I know that the trials and frustrations and heartache that came with each and every one of them made me who I am today. It made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. And made me know for sure what I wanted in a man.

Plus, they make awesome models for romance novels! lol

1 comment:

Grins said...

Falling in love is such a difficult thing for me. I do believe you have me beat with 4.