Wednesday, January 10, 2007

You gotta pucker up your lipsh like dish. . .


So I just got back from the dentist. Two hours of Nitrous and I feel like I got an extra night's sleep! On the downside, though, my lips feel like a duck bill and I'm kinda talking like Sebastian in the scene that the quote ^up there comes from (Little Mermaid, for those of you living under a rock and don't recognize that cute little crab). Anyway, my brain is still coming down, so for your entertainment today, I present "Redneck Pickup Lines" (Courtesy of a friend's email):


Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

*Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

*My Love fer you is like diarrhea.I can't hold it in.

*If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel,I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

*You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

*Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

*Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.
and.... the best for last!

*Yer face reminds me of a wrench,.......................every time I
think of it my nuts tighten up.

My apologies to anyone coming here and expecting something high class and insightful, but I'm numb up to my eyeballs and haven't eaten anything since last night.

Catch y'all after the comedown. . .

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

*hehe* those are quite entertaining:D

i just got your christmas card today! thanks so much:D

Bug said...

The title of this post just made me giggle uncontrollably!

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL hope you feel better---does it help that The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie

Stacy Dawn said...

LOL hope you feel better---does it help that The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie

Jen said...

LMAO!!!! I had to share some of those with my redneck hubby. He was dying.
Love those. Thanks.
Hope you feel better.

Anonymous said...

"If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel,I'd store my nuts in yer hole."

Simply brilliant. I'll try it tonight!

Anonymous said...

so my friend andy used to have this lame ass pickup line but since he is so damn charming i'm sure it worked:

Andy (to a girl): Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh?

Girl (possibly drunk): I dunno.

Andy: Just enough to break the ice. My name's Andy.

Seriously. It's ridiculous -- and he has the cutest little smile... it's just sad and pathetic.

Anonymous said...

lmao those are too funny