And just like that it's all over.

We had a very busy--but fabulous!--Christmas. On Friday night, CJ & Diva spent the night at my mom's house. CB made me a fantastic steak dinner and we spent the evening at home in blissful peace and quiet.

Then on Saturday, we went to get the kiddos, then saw Night at the Museum. It was AWESOME! So funny! And for a nerd like me who LOVES museums, it was heaven to see my kids so excited about it. Then we came home and wrapped the rest of the presents for extended family and opened our presents from each other.

Sunday we went to church, then it was up to CB's parents' house for lunch. A glorious lunch of turkey and smashed potatoes and corn and all sorts of other goodies. We opened presents there and CJ & Diva got this really cool marble labrynth thingie that they've spent countless hours building and rebuilding. I got a really pretty horse hair pot (picture follows below) and some moolah. Then we came back to town and went over to my dad's house. Diva got one of those new My Scene Barbies where you can push a button on their back and their facial expression changes. This sent me into fits of giggles because there is an expression that left my dad and I calling her Oral Annie. Seriously. Go to a toy department and look at one of these dolls. It's hilarious!

Monday we went to my mom's for lunch. Another declicious lunch of honeyed ham, pecan sweet potatoes, and many other goodies. There I got a bottle of the Olive Garden salad dressing, new pajamas, and Guitar Hero! It is the most fun game in the history of forever. And as long as I keep it on the "Easy" setting, I rock the house on most of the songs. I've been wanting it forever, since it's as close to being a rockstar as I'll ever be.

Yesterday I went with my Sister in Law after Christmas shopping. But not just ANY after Christmas shopping, we went to the big one--the Mall of America. It was PACKED, but as long as you stayed out of the kid-related stores, it was fairly tolerable. I scored some awesome clothes deals for the kids & me. Then went to Target where I got a pretty new tablecloth and charger for the center of my table:
It's pretty plain and simple right now (that's the horsehair vase in the middle), but I LOVE the colors. And it's not so "Christmas-y" that I can't keep it on there until spring time.

Also, since I'm posting pictures, here's our pretty little tree with the lights I don't particularly care for:
And a closeup of the stupid star that is beautiful but WILL. NOT. STAY. STRAIGHT. :
So there you have it. My Christmas weekend. I hope you all had a wonderful time as well!

Ho Ho Ho and all that.

This is what it did outside on Thursday:This is depressing because even though it has been freezing outside and we usually have a pretty good covering of snow by now, this is the first stuff that we've had all year. Before the white stuff started to stick, there was some sleet. The two combined turned my very dry (and very dead) yard into a pee-colored slushy mess.

The ice also meant that the children got out of school two hours early.

2 Children + Early Out + 1 more day 'til Christmas Vacation + 4 more days 'till Christmas = a serious case of the crazies. This is what CJ was up to within an hour of being home:
This caused Diva (who has a penchant for waiting until the last. possible. second. to go to the bathroom) to laugh so hard that she peed her pants.

I took this photographic and also have videographic evidence which I presented to CB with the understanding that I may not get out of the next week (I'll be home with them on their Christmas Winter vacation) with my sanity in tact.

So Merry Christmas, y'all! I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories to entertain you next week.

Homesick

My dad sent me this picture a couple of weeks ago. We had talked on my birthday last year (January 30th, so beware because I'm a total spoiled brat about my birthday) and I had asked him to find me a "California Sunset" to gaze upon. And he's been working on it ever since. He was trying to find just the right picture, and this is it. It's everything I think of when I think of the sunsets that I miss so much. The only thing I wish is that the waves were just a little bit bigger. But it's sufficient.

There are some days when I curse the circumstances that pulled us away from seeing this site anytime I want to. But I know there is someone else who has a much better plan for my life than I do/did. And if we hadn't left I would never have met Country Boy and I wouldn't have the little Mini-mes walking around. I would have become totally superficial and ended up working 80 hours a week just to afford the view that I'd always dreamed of.

Now, I'm only marginally materialistic on a bad day. I have a greater appreciation of things like family, friends, and life in general. I can appreciate all the beautiful things about my home state without having to deal with the ugly things. And I can take vacations there on occasion.

But when it's 25 degrees outside and I'm freezing my butt off, I can't help but wish for my palm tree-laden Christmases past.

How to Talk Minnesotan--The Glamorous Redneck way

When I moved from California to Virginia, I didn’t really notice much of a difference in speech patterns. The general SoCal speak is slow and drawn out. Granted I heard “y’all” a lot more on the East coast, but that was the only vocal difference I noticed.

However, when I moved to Minnesota from Virginia, it was a HUGE difference. I constantly found myself saying “what did you just say?” because people here talk so damn fast! My friends would constantly be rolling their eyes at me because 85% of conversations consisted of me saying “What are y’all talking about? Could you speak just a little bit s-l-o-w-e-r?”

There are a lot of other differences in pronunciation as well. Milk comes out as malk. Bag sounds more like beg. And words with an “o” in them are just different. Think the movie Fargo. Long and drawn out. Don’t even get me started on the whole “soda” verses “pop” debate because while I’m not nearly as stubborn as I once was, I will. Not. Bend. on that discussion. And I was so perplexed when people would ask me what I was having for dinner at 12:00 in the afternoon. I’d look at them like “what? I don’t know. Call my mom and ask her.” That is until someone was kind enough to actually explain that meals go like this out here: Breakfast (between 6:30-8:00 am), Lunch (9:30 am snack), Dinner (noon), Lunch (2:30 pm), Supper (6:00 pm). And after spending a winter here, I understood why they had so many meal times—you need all those extra calories to stay warm!

For the first year or so that I lived here, I was annoyed by all the pronunciation differences. I was certain that I wasn’t going to fall into that. I would hold on to my “Southern” accent for the three years I was stuck here and then I’d be gone. And, well, we all know how that worked out, don’t we?

While I still say milk and bag and hand correctly, I cannot stop myself from turning “gross” into “groooos” unless I’m actually thinking about what I’m saying. I hear myself and I cringe.

What about you? Have you moved around a lot and noticed different pronunciations? Or can you point out the regional nuances just because you hear them naturally?

Learning Experiences

You guys, I suck. I am sorry, but there you have it. There's been some trying things going on in the family (in law health crisis. Hopefully all worked out.) and I just haven't been much in the mood to blog. But I've got all sorts of good ideas to blog about, so I'm hoping the burnout is gone now for a while. SO, without further ado, I give you today's post:

Things I have lost since becoming a Mom:

Punctuality I have gone from a person who was perpetually ten minutes early everywhere I went to the person everyone is waiting on ten minutes after the designated time.

Manners I used to be “that” girl. You know, the one who would go out of her way to make sure no one heard her burp. Now, I’m not above muttering “Good One!” when one of the kids has trapped air.

Public Speaking Skills I was going to major in broadcast journalism. I was going to be the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. Today was a good day because I formed a coherent sentence and actually spoke it correctly.

Memory I can barely remember what I did last week, let alone five years ago. And names? I used to have my friends’ schedules memorized. Now my life consists of post-it notes and reminders on my cell phone.

Things I have gained since becoming a Mom:

Patience Even when it’s taking ten minutes to do a two minute job, I have the ability to calmly remind them to get their butts in gear. And though my patience is tested on a daily basis, it also increases every day. Maybe it’s because they’re getting older and are becoming a little more self-sufficient. Or maybe it’s because we’re all growing up a little bit more every day.

Humility I’d love to meet any mom that says motherhood has not made her humble. Because when my two year old is screaming “Ouch ouch ouch” because I’m touching their arm in the toy isle and people are staring at me like I’ve taken out a beating stick, there is nothing else you can be BUT humble.

Unconditional Love You know it’s unconditional when you look at them not five minutes after they’ve done something bad and you get that feeling in your stomach. The one that says “There is nothing that I would not do for this child.” The unconditional love that is so fierce that it hurts. When CJ comes home from school and says that someone was mean to him, I want to just go and find that kid and ask them “Why? How could you be mean to this sweet little boy?” A little boy that is so tender and kind to everyone that he meets does not deserve to be treated like that. Or the girl that threw a ball at Diva’s head at the swimming pool that is lucky that I wasn’t there that day.


So what about you parents? What have you learned since becoming a parent?

The Post Every Blogger Does

I've been blogging for over three years and I've yet to do a post on how people are finding me. And with a name like Glamorous Redneck, I was certain the searches would be much more entertaining than they were at my last blog. Submitted for your approval, I give you "How People Come Across My Blog." A question and answer period by none other than your favorite Glamorous Redneck and viewers like YOU!

What do rednecks carry with them? Umm. . .lessee. . .I’ve got my checkbook, lipstick, my cell phone, credit cards, driver’s license and loose change all comfortably organized in a too cute for words brown purse.

Redneck thong Dude. Seriously? The skit on Foxworthy’s Big Night Out where Sara Evans has to be with the two hunter guys and ends up doing a commercial for their beef jerky underwear for the ladies comes to mind.

Glamorous Why thank you! I’m like #3 on this list.

What do you get a redneck for Christmas? Well, Country Boy, you could buy me this, or this, or anything fromhere.

If you really wanted to impress me, you could buy me this. And if you wanted to be forever be on the Glamorous Redneck Good List, you could buy me this (a steal at $4 Million on the ultra-glamorous island of Coronado). And then I would love you forever.

Redneck Christmas Well I don’t know about other Redneck Christmases, but as for our house, it’s going to consist of massive quantities of food, family, friends, and moolah spent on making sure everyone is happy.

I’m dreaming of a Redneck Christmas You are? Really? Cuz I’ll totally trade the RC for an NYC Christmas.

Redneck Christmas Traditions Again, I don’t know what other traditions are, but ours are fun things like Christmas caroling, baking, and making presents for all the kids’ friends.

Redneck parade What? There’s a PARADE?!?! Where? When? And why am I not the Grand Marshall?

Redneck car fixers They ain’t no good, I’ll tell you what.

Hangover shoulder hurt Oh, honey, if you hurt your shoulder last night, I’m the LAST person that you should be talking to. Take two asprin, drink about a gallon of water and call me in the morning.

This is as close to an entry as you're going to get today.

If my life was any more uneventful, I'd be resting in a pine box, ladies and gentlemen. So, you get a survey. I'm not going to tag anyone, because I'm sure you've all received this one in your inbox in some sort of shape or form. But if you haven't, and you want to do it, either fill it out & post it as a comment, or post it on your blog and let me know! :)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate with lots of marshmallows, please and thank you.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
We don't really do the Santa thing. CJ figured it out when he was about 3, so there's just no point in trying. I do buy a few little stocking stuffer-type things that I put out after the kids are in bed.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I love white lights on everything, but the rest of the fam likes colored. So I lose out on having my tree the way I want it, but I suppose it's ok. *sniff*
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Negatory. Never really thought that was the coolest of holiday traditions.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Usually the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I wasn't really in the decorating mood until last week.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Excluding dessert? What kind of fool wrote this survey?!?!? LOL I kid. Mostly. My favorite non-dessert holiday food is probably sweet potatoes (again, with lots of marshmallows, please and thank you)

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
When I was three years old, my mom and dad had one of their friends dress up like Santa and be in the house when I woke up. I sat on his lap and he asked me what I wanted most of all. I told him a Barbie and he pulled one out of his big red bag. It was awesome! I’m sure I couldn’t stop talking about it for WEEKS!

Also, the first Christmas we lived in Virginia. It was going to be our first “white” Christmas, and my bro and I were so excited for it to happen. By December 25th, there was still no snow at all. But around 8:00 Christmas night, a stead snow began to fall. It was the good kind of snow that stuck and shimmered like someone had sprinkled glitter all over the trees and grass. My brother and I just sat at the window watching it fall. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I still love that very first snow!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was seven and my best friend told me. And I wasn't that upset until I realized that meant that the Tooth Fairy was fake too. Because the fat old bald guy sneaking into my house I could get over, but the pretty pink fairy with glittering wings? Still brings a tear to my eye. LOL I kid. Mostly.


9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
My grandma’s birthday was Christmas Eve, so we used to go over to her house after church and have dinner (usually enchiladas or some other non-traditional meal). After dinner, we would all open our presents from her. Now that she’s gone, I still let the kids pick out at least one gift to open on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Much to CB’s chagrin, most of my ornaments are the Holiday Barbie ones that I've been getting from GlamorousMom for as long as I can remember. The rest of them are cartoon ornaments the kids have received as presents. Someday I'm going to have two trees, one with all of those ornaments, and one that has purple and silver balls with glittery silver ribbon (I’ve got the ribbon, and it’s on my tree now) winding all the way to the top!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love it when it comes on the weekend and I don't have to go anywhere. That way I can pretend that the kids want to go out and play when it's really just me. :) Other than that, I dread it.

12. Can you ice skate?
Never tried it. How odd is that? I’ve just always been so scared of the idea of walking out on a big sheet of solid water.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Hmm. . .probably my first stereo. I was 11 and there was this HUGE box under the tree. No one was giving any hints as to whose present it was, and when I finally saw that it was mine, I was flabberghasted! I had no idea what it could possibly be! And when I opened it I probably screamed. It was HUGE and came with a brand new CD player (again, huge and boxy. My how things have changed!)

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
FAMILY, Family and ummm.....FAMILY!!! Also making sure that I take time out for the kids to explain the real meaning of Christmas. But Diva just told me that it's lights, so I think I've still got some work ahead of me. ;)

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Open any Christmas cookbook and pick one! lol Probably kringla (a sweet-bread type cookie for those of you not blessed with Scandahoovian ancestors), haystacks and FUDGE.

16. Family tradition?
Watching A Christmas Story eight frillion times (You'll shoot your eye out!)

17. What tops your tree?
A pretty silver star that refuses to stand up straight.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
I do enjoy giving things to people--especially if it's something that I know they've wanted for a long time. But I'm not gonna lie, I love receiving too!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, Santa Baby (Etta James' version), The Christmas Song and tons of others. I love them all!

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
I hate regular candy canes (unless they are crushed up inside white chocolate fudge), but I LOVE the starburst and other fruity kinds.

Where's MY Winter Wonderland?

I keep seeing all the news about everyone to the south of me getting hammered with snow. Even BSG has gotten her chance at being annoyed by the winter driving IQ drop. So where the heck is MY snow? My friends didn't tease me about moving to MinneSNOWta for no reason here, people.

The first winter we were here there was a TON of snow. The second winter we had so much snow that the drifts were taller than me and when it melted in the spring, all the white stuff led to a flood that shut down this entire region for a week. But ever since then, we've been skunked in the snow department.

And it's not ALL bad. I don't have to deal with driving on ice-packed roads to go to work every day. Nor do I have to scrape my windshield and brush piles of snow off of my car just to drive home.

Now that it's December, I'm standing around tapping my foot at Mother Nature, wondering where the Winter has gone. We did have one day when it snowed, but the ground was still too warm so it all melted right away.

It's making it very difficult for me to actually get into the Holiday spirit. Granted I've been a little cranky at this time of year for the past couple go arounds, but I can't help it. I'm still a little pissed off at the whole parental divorce thing that doesn't let me have my normal Christmas traditions anymore. But I'm trying really hard for my kids' sake. We've been to look at Christmas lights, put up our own decorations, and I've even busted out my Christmas socks (of which my supply is bountiful). Still, nothing's helping me.

So today's question is how do YOU get into the Holiday spirit? What really makes you wander around whistling "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"?