I Can Haz iCoaster?

When I was little, there was always a very, very, VERY long Christmas list of all the things I wanted Santa to bring me. But there was one year that there was just one thing on my list. The one thing I wanted more than anything in the whole wide world. What was it, you ask? A Cabbage Patch Kid.

Now, most of you are old enough to remember that right around the time when CPKs first came out, there was a HUGE craze for them. You couldn't find them anywhere. This happened to be the year that both my Aunt (she's only 4 years older) and I wanted one. So my mom and grandma both went traipsing about SoCal at the butt crack of dawn every Saturday morning from November on until they found a store with CPKs in stock. My Aunt and I both got what we wanted for Christmas.

Fast forward a few years to the Tickle Me Elmo insanity. That year was the first year that I went Black Friday shopping. There were grown women fighting in the toy isle over who got the last Tickle Me Elmo. There were women pushing and shoving to get in to the store. I seriously heard someone yell "I know where you live!" when someone cut in front of them. It was also the last year that I went shopping in that particular city on Black Friday.

I laughed at the insanity of it all "Ha ha!" thought I, "I am so glad that I am not having to do that. Besides, I would never go through THAT much trouble for my kid."

Guess what? I lied.

Fast forward yet again to this Holiday season. CJ has ONE thing and ONE thing only on his list. "Mommy, I know it's really, really, really expensive and I probably can't get it, but all I want for Christmas is an iCoaster." I agreed with him that it was expensive, but I secretly knew that we would get it for him. I'd seen them everywhere, and so I figured I would just wait until I got my Christmas bonus from work, then go buy the thing. Plus, I started looking on eBay to see if I could find the thing cheaper.

Now that it's time to actually START Christmas shopping, I could not find the damn toy anywhere! And on eBay, it's going for $150! I talked to a friend who's son told him the same thing and he informed me that a certain store DID have them in stock. So I called yesterday. Needless to say, they were all sold out. But I was determined! So I spent most of the day yesterday calling every store within a 150 mile radius. Every single one either had incompetent people in the toy department who didn't know what an iCoaster was, or they were out of stock. Finally at noon when I'd all but given up, I made one last call. Lo and behold, they had ONE left in stock. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of an iCoaster.

Now, there was no violence involved, but I never thought I would have to call ELEVEN different stores to find ONE stupid toy that will just take up more room in my already too small house and probably only be cool for about a week before CJ's done with it. But he will have the ONLIEST thing he wants for Christmas for the love of all things Good and Holy.

So, looking to earn some extra moolah? Find iCoasters and sell them on eBay. One even went for $180. At $60-$80 to buy, it's a pretty good turn around, don't you think?

Random things I want to yell at random people*

Just because it’s the way YOU would do things, doesn’t always make it the RIGHT way to do things.

Your last name means nothing outside of this city. Grow up and realize it.

If I have to hear about your stupid ego and all your denial one more time, I just may go postal.

You are an asshole. Anyone who cheats on their wife should be strung up by their balls and left for dead.

Why is it so difficult to be NICE to everyone?

Why do you treat people you barely know better than you treat your own flesh and blood?

Clean your rooms! Yesterday!

Get a job and get your life in order.

Stop calling me for advice.

Stop being so immature. Grow some gumption and move on with your life.


I promise I’m not having a meltdown. Just a little sampling of the drama that has been in my life as of late. And not really all of it belongs to me. I just hear things (which happens on occasion in a small town), and I’m sick of stupid crap. But do you think I can say anything about it to the people that are being stupid? That’s a big negatory.

So, aren’t you glad you stopped here today? You get to deal with Crazy Carrie and all her Drama.

I’ll be better after Thanksgiving, I promise.

*names have not been used in order to protect what little sanity I have left.

It's a smell. A smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells. . . .smelly.

For those of you that have already had babies, do you remember those pregnancy cravings (for those of you that haven’t had babies. . .just wait!)? How you’re all “I must have this one thing RIGHT NOW and if I don’t I will just continue to puke until you (DH) feel sorry enough for me to just go and get me some damn CHEESECAKE!!!”? Well, I have been blessed in the fact that those cravings never went away for me (no puking, however, so that’s a bonus) except they are a lot less often. But when they hit, I am OBSESSED with whatever I’m craving until I eat it and the craving is gone.

The last couple of weeks that craving has been for Chicken Fried Steak. I know, right? So not healthy, or really all that hard to make for that matter. But every time I was at the grocery store, I would forget. Until I got home and I was all “CRAP! The CHICKEN FRIED STEAK!” Wednesday, however, I finally remembered at the store, and while I was already planning dinner for that night, Thursday was just around the corner. Thursday, glorious Thursday!

I obsessed all day and as soon as it was time to start making dinner, I did a little happy dance out to the kitchen. I made my mashed potatoes, country style gravy, and buttered corn. Then I popped the CFS into the oven and set the timer. Everything was going according to plan. . .

When the timer buzzed, I made my way back out there and popped open the oven door. An odd colored smoke (blue-ish gray-ish brown-ish) came billowing out. Now, while I’m no Rachel Ray and have been known to burn a thing or two in my time, it really is near impossible to burn CFS patties. I looked at them and they didn’t look burnt. So I pulled them out and THAT’S when I noticed it. The little blue and red pool of melted plastic on the bottom of the oven. That’s when I established what the funky, yet familiar, smell was that had been permeating the kitchen since I opened the oven door.

Turns out CJ had left his prized eraser (he’d just gotten it for taking a reading test & getting a good grade on it) on my table. When I put the pan on the table before putting it in the oven, the eraser must have stuck to the bottom of the pan and fallen off when it started heating up.

Imagine if you will, the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie’s dad has been looking forward to the Turkey all Christmas morning, only to have it be devoured by Bumpass’ dogs. While there were no dogs present in my story, THAT’S the devastation that I felt.

And we ended up having Chinese afterwards. Which is good, but still not CFS.

CJ felt horribly bad, so I shared the story about the time I made my mom go on an Easter egg hunt and I hid an egg in the oven. She didn’t find it and I forgot about it. Until she started preheating the oven. Needless to say, we had a good laugh about it and I made my chiropractor laugh so hard she couldn’t even adjust me. So, it all turned out all right in the end, I guess. And after a mid-day full of people dumping bad news on me, I really needed to laugh.

How about you? Any good plastic-in-the-oven tales to share?

The One Without a Title

So CB and I have been on a "Friends" kick lately. It started this summer when we came across it on one of the cable channels from 10:00 - 11:00 at night. This has not boded well for us. Because we are old and we were usually asleep by 10:15, 10:30 at the latest. Now we are up until 11:00 or later because I had forgotten just how damn funny that show is. And CB had never really watched it.

But then! Technology FINALLY made it's way out here! We have a DVR cable box! I can record "Friends" every time it is on! And watch it when I am awake and the children are not!

I am totally understanding why people call their TiVo their boyfriend/girlfriend. I can ask it to do whatever I want it to! And it will do it! The FIRST time! With NO ARGUMENT! It's the best relationship a girl could ask for!

In other news, I met with an advisor yesterday to find out exactly how bad off I was. Turns out I do not have to retake speech, which made me very happy. Because while I am much more opinionated now than I was when I took it the first time around, the thought of having to take it as a lecture with 100 other people (I took it as a college class when I was a Senior in HS, along with 10 of my very best friends and 10 other people that I at least knew) was a little daunting.

I do, however, have to take Psychology again. This sucks. For some reason, all that crap just shoots right over the top of my head. The first time I took it as an independent study class (again in HS) and was in tears by the end of the second chapter of the book because it just didn't make sense. The second time I took it, I ended up getting knocked up and so I felt like crap and wasn't able to concentrate. But, third time's a charm, right? Hopefully that's the case with Biology as well since I've taken that one twice too. Gah. Now I remember why I quit the first time.

Your Pressing Questions Answered

What's this? Viewer MAIL???? Well, I shall do my best to answer the questions that you asked me:

Courtney asked:

So what DO you want to be when you grow up?

Well, I intend on getting a degree in Elementary Education (see, I bet you all think I'm even crazier now, don't you?) with the intention of teaching upper elementary. But I'm learning that I have to take more crappy generals, so I'm feeling a little deflated. Although, I basically am starting as a Junior, so if I could go full time, I'd be done in 2-2 1/2 years. Now I'm looking at a five year plan since I can only go half time. Unless one of you is independently wealthy and wants to hand me about $50 thousand to get me through the next five years. Any takers?

Jen asked:

I need to know: Have you always taken dance, or is this something that you just recently decided to do? Because I used to want to be a Fly Girl, and secretly I actually still DO want to be a Fly Girl, except that In Living Color isn't on anymore, and I don't have any professional training. BUT! I want to dance the Lyrical dance. I do! I DO! So spill it!

This is only my second year of taking dance. I took ballet for about a year when I was 5, but Muppet Babies was on at the same time as class, so I had to drop it. A girl's gotta have her priorities, don'tchyaknow. It's so fun and so challenging, so I wouldn't trade any of it for anything in the whole wide world. And if I can do it, anyone can do it. So, my dear, get thee to a dance studio in your town and find out if they offer adult classes. If they don't, then be like me and throw a temper tantrum until you get your way. They'll come around eventually.

Also, I totally wanted to be a Fly Girl too! This is just another reason why you are such a cool kid. :)

Finally, Baseball Mom asked:

Glad you had fun in our neck of the NW...sounds like you saw all the cool stuff! Have to know what you thought of Mt. St. Helens...it's still cool, but was REALLY cool right after the eruption.

I'm very sad to say that I lost out on the whole Mt. St. Helen's thing. Turns out CB and I were the only ones that were really interested in going there. GQ (The BIL) suggested the beach or Mt. Regnier instead. And I was all about going to the beach, so that's where we ended up going on that day. But I'm totally going back and THEN I will get to Mt. St. Helen's.

Now, if I would have been smart, I would have saved each one of these questions for their own individual post. But now that I'm done writing, I'm so not going to go a cuttin' and pastin'. So there you have it. Maybe I'll elaborate on these more throughout the week. Plus, I have to share my new music obsession--I'm learning to play the congas. It's slow, but not nearly as slow as it was to try guitar. In fact, I may be playing them at church on Sunday. We'll have to see how bad I suck it up at practice.

So ta ta for now. I'm at work and they just had a diesel bus in the shop. Which means that my office is wreaking of diesel fumes and I have a headache.

But ask more questions! I'm all about the viewer mail! ;)

Carrie = Slacker (Now with 20% more pictures)

So. I suck. See my pathetic attempt at trying to post again will come in the form of various rundowns with my trademarked side tangents that will most likely turn your brain into an oozing wad of mush. But stay with me anyway! Because the mush, it’s GOOD!

The past month in a rundown:

Seattle = AWESOME! I totally want to move there and become jaded and sick of the rain and shop at Pike’s Market every damn day of my life. But the sad thing? I’m the only coffee drinker in our little troupe, so I did not get to a Starbucks whilst in the Holy Land. I did, however, make the most awesomest of sand castles that now looks a little like Diva and I created a Boobie Project. But it was October, which is Boobie Awareness month, so I figure we’re totally cool with it. Case in point:


CJ and I also built a sand castleVOLCANO which now looks a little disturbing to me. Especially with the lighter colored sandLAVA oozing out the top.

Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe = One of the coolest/freakiest places I’ve ever been. Am still shuddering at the thought of being able to purchase a shrunken head for the bargain basement price of $12.99. And! They forever eeked their way into my heart because they sold Mexican Jumping Beans! Those are only the coolest bug infested beans in the whole wide world!

OK, I promise there will be a whole big post on Seattle somewhere down the line, so I’m going to stop talking about it and all its loveliness.

Dance Class = TOO HARD! Seriously. I took great pride in how effortlessly I caught on to tap, considering the only dancing I’ve ever done has been ridiculous and fake. And the tap is still pretty easy to me. But LYRICAL? Lyrical is hard stuff, people. You have to be all “graceful” and “precise” and I’m all “not graceful” and “a little clumsy”. So, you can imagine my conundrum. But I’m getting it. It’s just not as natural as my cocky-self thought it was going to be.

Halloween = Fun! I had a Zorro and a 50’s girl to take trick-or-treating. They are officially the coolest kids. Ever. We got so many compliments over the fact that they were not one of eighty-five Spidermans or whore-y American Idol wanna-bes. Yeah. My kids rock. SO there. Didn’t need strangers to tell me that!

Glamorous Redneck = Marginally insane! Why, you ask? Because I’m officially re-enrolled as a college student. Yes, at the tender age of 27, I’ve finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. And I got my transcripts from College 1.0 and am sick at how much of a slacker I was. I got good grades in the classes I liked, and like actually WENT to, but the rest of them. . . .blech.

I’ve done various other things throughout the month, but there you have the highlights. And maybe it’s better for me to post this way. Once a month rundown of the things that are actually interesting instead of stupid day to day nothingness.