And just like that it's all over.

We had a very busy--but fabulous!--Christmas. On Friday night, CJ & Diva spent the night at my mom's house. CB made me a fantastic steak dinner and we spent the evening at home in blissful peace and quiet.

Then on Saturday, we went to get the kiddos, then saw Night at the Museum. It was AWESOME! So funny! And for a nerd like me who LOVES museums, it was heaven to see my kids so excited about it. Then we came home and wrapped the rest of the presents for extended family and opened our presents from each other.

Sunday we went to church, then it was up to CB's parents' house for lunch. A glorious lunch of turkey and smashed potatoes and corn and all sorts of other goodies. We opened presents there and CJ & Diva got this really cool marble labrynth thingie that they've spent countless hours building and rebuilding. I got a really pretty horse hair pot (picture follows below) and some moolah. Then we came back to town and went over to my dad's house. Diva got one of those new My Scene Barbies where you can push a button on their back and their facial expression changes. This sent me into fits of giggles because there is an expression that left my dad and I calling her Oral Annie. Seriously. Go to a toy department and look at one of these dolls. It's hilarious!

Monday we went to my mom's for lunch. Another declicious lunch of honeyed ham, pecan sweet potatoes, and many other goodies. There I got a bottle of the Olive Garden salad dressing, new pajamas, and Guitar Hero! It is the most fun game in the history of forever. And as long as I keep it on the "Easy" setting, I rock the house on most of the songs. I've been wanting it forever, since it's as close to being a rockstar as I'll ever be.

Yesterday I went with my Sister in Law after Christmas shopping. But not just ANY after Christmas shopping, we went to the big one--the Mall of America. It was PACKED, but as long as you stayed out of the kid-related stores, it was fairly tolerable. I scored some awesome clothes deals for the kids & me. Then went to Target where I got a pretty new tablecloth and charger for the center of my table:
It's pretty plain and simple right now (that's the horsehair vase in the middle), but I LOVE the colors. And it's not so "Christmas-y" that I can't keep it on there until spring time.

Also, since I'm posting pictures, here's our pretty little tree with the lights I don't particularly care for:
And a closeup of the stupid star that is beautiful but WILL. NOT. STAY. STRAIGHT. :
So there you have it. My Christmas weekend. I hope you all had a wonderful time as well!

Ho Ho Ho and all that.

This is what it did outside on Thursday:This is depressing because even though it has been freezing outside and we usually have a pretty good covering of snow by now, this is the first stuff that we've had all year. Before the white stuff started to stick, there was some sleet. The two combined turned my very dry (and very dead) yard into a pee-colored slushy mess.

The ice also meant that the children got out of school two hours early.

2 Children + Early Out + 1 more day 'til Christmas Vacation + 4 more days 'till Christmas = a serious case of the crazies. This is what CJ was up to within an hour of being home:
This caused Diva (who has a penchant for waiting until the last. possible. second. to go to the bathroom) to laugh so hard that she peed her pants.

I took this photographic and also have videographic evidence which I presented to CB with the understanding that I may not get out of the next week (I'll be home with them on their Christmas Winter vacation) with my sanity in tact.

So Merry Christmas, y'all! I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories to entertain you next week.

Homesick

My dad sent me this picture a couple of weeks ago. We had talked on my birthday last year (January 30th, so beware because I'm a total spoiled brat about my birthday) and I had asked him to find me a "California Sunset" to gaze upon. And he's been working on it ever since. He was trying to find just the right picture, and this is it. It's everything I think of when I think of the sunsets that I miss so much. The only thing I wish is that the waves were just a little bit bigger. But it's sufficient.

There are some days when I curse the circumstances that pulled us away from seeing this site anytime I want to. But I know there is someone else who has a much better plan for my life than I do/did. And if we hadn't left I would never have met Country Boy and I wouldn't have the little Mini-mes walking around. I would have become totally superficial and ended up working 80 hours a week just to afford the view that I'd always dreamed of.

Now, I'm only marginally materialistic on a bad day. I have a greater appreciation of things like family, friends, and life in general. I can appreciate all the beautiful things about my home state without having to deal with the ugly things. And I can take vacations there on occasion.

But when it's 25 degrees outside and I'm freezing my butt off, I can't help but wish for my palm tree-laden Christmases past.

How to Talk Minnesotan--The Glamorous Redneck way

When I moved from California to Virginia, I didn’t really notice much of a difference in speech patterns. The general SoCal speak is slow and drawn out. Granted I heard “y’all” a lot more on the East coast, but that was the only vocal difference I noticed.

However, when I moved to Minnesota from Virginia, it was a HUGE difference. I constantly found myself saying “what did you just say?” because people here talk so damn fast! My friends would constantly be rolling their eyes at me because 85% of conversations consisted of me saying “What are y’all talking about? Could you speak just a little bit s-l-o-w-e-r?”

There are a lot of other differences in pronunciation as well. Milk comes out as malk. Bag sounds more like beg. And words with an “o” in them are just different. Think the movie Fargo. Long and drawn out. Don’t even get me started on the whole “soda” verses “pop” debate because while I’m not nearly as stubborn as I once was, I will. Not. Bend. on that discussion. And I was so perplexed when people would ask me what I was having for dinner at 12:00 in the afternoon. I’d look at them like “what? I don’t know. Call my mom and ask her.” That is until someone was kind enough to actually explain that meals go like this out here: Breakfast (between 6:30-8:00 am), Lunch (9:30 am snack), Dinner (noon), Lunch (2:30 pm), Supper (6:00 pm). And after spending a winter here, I understood why they had so many meal times—you need all those extra calories to stay warm!

For the first year or so that I lived here, I was annoyed by all the pronunciation differences. I was certain that I wasn’t going to fall into that. I would hold on to my “Southern” accent for the three years I was stuck here and then I’d be gone. And, well, we all know how that worked out, don’t we?

While I still say milk and bag and hand correctly, I cannot stop myself from turning “gross” into “groooos” unless I’m actually thinking about what I’m saying. I hear myself and I cringe.

What about you? Have you moved around a lot and noticed different pronunciations? Or can you point out the regional nuances just because you hear them naturally?

Learning Experiences

You guys, I suck. I am sorry, but there you have it. There's been some trying things going on in the family (in law health crisis. Hopefully all worked out.) and I just haven't been much in the mood to blog. But I've got all sorts of good ideas to blog about, so I'm hoping the burnout is gone now for a while. SO, without further ado, I give you today's post:

Things I have lost since becoming a Mom:

Punctuality I have gone from a person who was perpetually ten minutes early everywhere I went to the person everyone is waiting on ten minutes after the designated time.

Manners I used to be “that” girl. You know, the one who would go out of her way to make sure no one heard her burp. Now, I’m not above muttering “Good One!” when one of the kids has trapped air.

Public Speaking Skills I was going to major in broadcast journalism. I was going to be the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. Today was a good day because I formed a coherent sentence and actually spoke it correctly.

Memory I can barely remember what I did last week, let alone five years ago. And names? I used to have my friends’ schedules memorized. Now my life consists of post-it notes and reminders on my cell phone.

Things I have gained since becoming a Mom:

Patience Even when it’s taking ten minutes to do a two minute job, I have the ability to calmly remind them to get their butts in gear. And though my patience is tested on a daily basis, it also increases every day. Maybe it’s because they’re getting older and are becoming a little more self-sufficient. Or maybe it’s because we’re all growing up a little bit more every day.

Humility I’d love to meet any mom that says motherhood has not made her humble. Because when my two year old is screaming “Ouch ouch ouch” because I’m touching their arm in the toy isle and people are staring at me like I’ve taken out a beating stick, there is nothing else you can be BUT humble.

Unconditional Love You know it’s unconditional when you look at them not five minutes after they’ve done something bad and you get that feeling in your stomach. The one that says “There is nothing that I would not do for this child.” The unconditional love that is so fierce that it hurts. When CJ comes home from school and says that someone was mean to him, I want to just go and find that kid and ask them “Why? How could you be mean to this sweet little boy?” A little boy that is so tender and kind to everyone that he meets does not deserve to be treated like that. Or the girl that threw a ball at Diva’s head at the swimming pool that is lucky that I wasn’t there that day.


So what about you parents? What have you learned since becoming a parent?

The Post Every Blogger Does

I've been blogging for over three years and I've yet to do a post on how people are finding me. And with a name like Glamorous Redneck, I was certain the searches would be much more entertaining than they were at my last blog. Submitted for your approval, I give you "How People Come Across My Blog." A question and answer period by none other than your favorite Glamorous Redneck and viewers like YOU!

What do rednecks carry with them? Umm. . .lessee. . .I’ve got my checkbook, lipstick, my cell phone, credit cards, driver’s license and loose change all comfortably organized in a too cute for words brown purse.

Redneck thong Dude. Seriously? The skit on Foxworthy’s Big Night Out where Sara Evans has to be with the two hunter guys and ends up doing a commercial for their beef jerky underwear for the ladies comes to mind.

Glamorous Why thank you! I’m like #3 on this list.

What do you get a redneck for Christmas? Well, Country Boy, you could buy me this, or this, or anything fromhere.

If you really wanted to impress me, you could buy me this. And if you wanted to be forever be on the Glamorous Redneck Good List, you could buy me this (a steal at $4 Million on the ultra-glamorous island of Coronado). And then I would love you forever.

Redneck Christmas Well I don’t know about other Redneck Christmases, but as for our house, it’s going to consist of massive quantities of food, family, friends, and moolah spent on making sure everyone is happy.

I’m dreaming of a Redneck Christmas You are? Really? Cuz I’ll totally trade the RC for an NYC Christmas.

Redneck Christmas Traditions Again, I don’t know what other traditions are, but ours are fun things like Christmas caroling, baking, and making presents for all the kids’ friends.

Redneck parade What? There’s a PARADE?!?! Where? When? And why am I not the Grand Marshall?

Redneck car fixers They ain’t no good, I’ll tell you what.

Hangover shoulder hurt Oh, honey, if you hurt your shoulder last night, I’m the LAST person that you should be talking to. Take two asprin, drink about a gallon of water and call me in the morning.

This is as close to an entry as you're going to get today.

If my life was any more uneventful, I'd be resting in a pine box, ladies and gentlemen. So, you get a survey. I'm not going to tag anyone, because I'm sure you've all received this one in your inbox in some sort of shape or form. But if you haven't, and you want to do it, either fill it out & post it as a comment, or post it on your blog and let me know! :)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate with lots of marshmallows, please and thank you.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
We don't really do the Santa thing. CJ figured it out when he was about 3, so there's just no point in trying. I do buy a few little stocking stuffer-type things that I put out after the kids are in bed.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I love white lights on everything, but the rest of the fam likes colored. So I lose out on having my tree the way I want it, but I suppose it's ok. *sniff*
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Negatory. Never really thought that was the coolest of holiday traditions.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Usually the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I wasn't really in the decorating mood until last week.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Excluding dessert? What kind of fool wrote this survey?!?!? LOL I kid. Mostly. My favorite non-dessert holiday food is probably sweet potatoes (again, with lots of marshmallows, please and thank you)

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
When I was three years old, my mom and dad had one of their friends dress up like Santa and be in the house when I woke up. I sat on his lap and he asked me what I wanted most of all. I told him a Barbie and he pulled one out of his big red bag. It was awesome! I’m sure I couldn’t stop talking about it for WEEKS!

Also, the first Christmas we lived in Virginia. It was going to be our first “white” Christmas, and my bro and I were so excited for it to happen. By December 25th, there was still no snow at all. But around 8:00 Christmas night, a stead snow began to fall. It was the good kind of snow that stuck and shimmered like someone had sprinkled glitter all over the trees and grass. My brother and I just sat at the window watching it fall. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I still love that very first snow!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was seven and my best friend told me. And I wasn't that upset until I realized that meant that the Tooth Fairy was fake too. Because the fat old bald guy sneaking into my house I could get over, but the pretty pink fairy with glittering wings? Still brings a tear to my eye. LOL I kid. Mostly.


9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
My grandma’s birthday was Christmas Eve, so we used to go over to her house after church and have dinner (usually enchiladas or some other non-traditional meal). After dinner, we would all open our presents from her. Now that she’s gone, I still let the kids pick out at least one gift to open on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Much to CB’s chagrin, most of my ornaments are the Holiday Barbie ones that I've been getting from GlamorousMom for as long as I can remember. The rest of them are cartoon ornaments the kids have received as presents. Someday I'm going to have two trees, one with all of those ornaments, and one that has purple and silver balls with glittery silver ribbon (I’ve got the ribbon, and it’s on my tree now) winding all the way to the top!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love it when it comes on the weekend and I don't have to go anywhere. That way I can pretend that the kids want to go out and play when it's really just me. :) Other than that, I dread it.

12. Can you ice skate?
Never tried it. How odd is that? I’ve just always been so scared of the idea of walking out on a big sheet of solid water.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Hmm. . .probably my first stereo. I was 11 and there was this HUGE box under the tree. No one was giving any hints as to whose present it was, and when I finally saw that it was mine, I was flabberghasted! I had no idea what it could possibly be! And when I opened it I probably screamed. It was HUGE and came with a brand new CD player (again, huge and boxy. My how things have changed!)

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
FAMILY, Family and ummm.....FAMILY!!! Also making sure that I take time out for the kids to explain the real meaning of Christmas. But Diva just told me that it's lights, so I think I've still got some work ahead of me. ;)

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Open any Christmas cookbook and pick one! lol Probably kringla (a sweet-bread type cookie for those of you not blessed with Scandahoovian ancestors), haystacks and FUDGE.

16. Family tradition?
Watching A Christmas Story eight frillion times (You'll shoot your eye out!)

17. What tops your tree?
A pretty silver star that refuses to stand up straight.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
I do enjoy giving things to people--especially if it's something that I know they've wanted for a long time. But I'm not gonna lie, I love receiving too!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, Santa Baby (Etta James' version), The Christmas Song and tons of others. I love them all!

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
I hate regular candy canes (unless they are crushed up inside white chocolate fudge), but I LOVE the starburst and other fruity kinds.

Where's MY Winter Wonderland?

I keep seeing all the news about everyone to the south of me getting hammered with snow. Even BSG has gotten her chance at being annoyed by the winter driving IQ drop. So where the heck is MY snow? My friends didn't tease me about moving to MinneSNOWta for no reason here, people.

The first winter we were here there was a TON of snow. The second winter we had so much snow that the drifts were taller than me and when it melted in the spring, all the white stuff led to a flood that shut down this entire region for a week. But ever since then, we've been skunked in the snow department.

And it's not ALL bad. I don't have to deal with driving on ice-packed roads to go to work every day. Nor do I have to scrape my windshield and brush piles of snow off of my car just to drive home.

Now that it's December, I'm standing around tapping my foot at Mother Nature, wondering where the Winter has gone. We did have one day when it snowed, but the ground was still too warm so it all melted right away.

It's making it very difficult for me to actually get into the Holiday spirit. Granted I've been a little cranky at this time of year for the past couple go arounds, but I can't help it. I'm still a little pissed off at the whole parental divorce thing that doesn't let me have my normal Christmas traditions anymore. But I'm trying really hard for my kids' sake. We've been to look at Christmas lights, put up our own decorations, and I've even busted out my Christmas socks (of which my supply is bountiful). Still, nothing's helping me.

So today's question is how do YOU get into the Holiday spirit? What really makes you wander around whistling "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"?

Ch-ch-changes

I went out with a friend from High School this weekend, and it made me realize just how much I’ve changed in the past [almost] 10 years [gack. I am so old]. We went to “the” bar. Yes “the” bar. While there are two others in town, they are attached to restaurants, so don’t really count as a good old dive bar. “The” bar was having Karaoke, so I figured it would be fun as Friend is a fellow singer.

But we got there and I practically choked from the cigarette smoke. And the longer I sat there, the more annoyed I got. I haven’t been around that many people dropping the F-bomb as if it were breath since high school. I know everyone swears, and I tend to drop my own F-bombs every now and again. But there is a fine line between swearing because there is truly no other word that can express your particular emotion and swearing like a teenager who just learned their first big bad word. Everyone in that bar was on the latter side of the line.

So I left early and started thinking about something another friend had said to me recently. She had told me that she hates it when people change. This concerns me because I KNOW that *I've* changed in this insanely long amount of time. So was she saying it directed at me? Or does she not see me as changed and was just making a comment about someone else?

But doesn’t everyone change? Isn’t that a natural, healthy part of growing up? Because if I came across me at 18 now? I’d probably kick the selfish little brat upside the head.

Thoughts? Questions? Comments?

Achy Breaky Head

I think I'm coming down with [another] cold. It's been in the making since Friday afternoon, but seems to be culminating with the headache from Hades this morning. I spent most of yesterday sleeping on the couch (happens to be the most uncomfortable couch in the whole world, but it was free so there's that.), which resulted in my neck being out of whack.

So perhaps I have a case of never ending Turkey Hangover, but between the achy head, neck, and back I'm just not feeling like being at work today. I'm going to the chiropractor today, so hopefully two of three aches will go away.

However, in the midst of my napping (and turning off the Charger game because they were just plain pissing me off), I switched over to Hannah Montana for Diva. Have you all seen this show? And did you realize that it's Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter? I had to do a double take because I just remember Paternal Cyrus in his mullet-sporting, line-dance-song singing glory circa 1993. And then I hated myself a little bit because I kinda like the show. Yes, as I've mentioned before, I will never grow up. But when I can find a show for kids that is actually entertaining to watch, I cannot turn it off.

It reminded me of a highly entertaining story from my very first experience with a good friend I like to call Rum and Coke. I didn't get to the point of puking, but I was drunk enough that I did not remember most of the night. My mom told me the next day that the highlight of the night was when I asked her how many hairs Billy Ray Cyrus had in the. . .errr. . .nether regions. She said that she could barely contain the laughter long enough to ask me why I thought she would know that. To which I responded "You like that stupid Achy Breaky song, so I just figured you would know." This is still a running joke to this day. So I can't help but chuckle every time I hear his name.

Now I'm off to find some good drugs to get me through the rest of the day.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Things I am thankful for:

My kids—They drive me insane, but when I wake up to the sound of them chasing each other through the house, giggling so hard that they can barely breathe, I realize I’m right where I’m supposed to be (well, that and the fact that THE LIST has worked wonders on our morning routine).

My husband—It’s cheesy, but we really do complete each other. When my sanity’s on the brink, he pulls me right back away from the ledge, reminding me that I am not a horrible mother and fixing whatever it is that seems to be driving me insane. I never thought that Happily Ever After was real until I started living it out. And of course there are spats and times when I want to strangle him, but when he hugs me and tells me it’s all going to be OK, I have to agree. (yeah, that’s enough sap outta me)

My job—I work for an incredibly family-friendly company. It has allowed me to work part time, basically setting my own hours. Which means that I get to spend more time with my kids. While this is probably a major contributor to the fact that I am in a constant state of frustration with them, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My house—I hate it, and if someone came today and offered to buy it, I would cry many, many tears of joy. But I am thankful that I have a house. There are so many people in this world that have to struggle even for that, let alone a huge feast of turkey, potatoes, bread and pies.

My friends—Both online and in person, I have the GREATEST set of friends on this planet. Y’all are a bunch of smart, funny, snarky, entertaining people, and I’m grateful to have the chance to meet you every day on the interweb.

So what are you thankful for?

Not the Mama!*

I didn't post yesterday because I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Have you (other moms) ever just had one of those days where you question whether or not you were really cut out for this whole mom thing? Because that's been me for the past two weeks! I wake up on the verge of ripping all my hair out and curling up in the fetal position and that verge doesn't go away until the kids are tucked safely in bed. A number of factors have contributed to this.

Mostly, I call it a severe case of Christmas-itis. You know the affliction, don't you? During the months of November and December, children all across the world become crazed with the notion of making lists of all the things they want for Christmas. The eyes glaze over, and attempting to talk to them about anything other than the Toys R Us Big Book results in blank stares and a whole lot of "What? I've never heard of that toy before. Can I have it for Christmas?" Followed by much internal screaming by the parental units when all they've said to the child is "It's time to go brush your teeth." Unfortunately there is no known cure for Christmas-itis, other than the actual day itself. The day after Christmas results in the normal, mild-mannered children that you are so accostomed to for 9 months out of the year (the other month is a different affliction I call Birthday-itis, with the same exact symptoms and cure).

Another thing has been the severe lack of listening on their parts. I have to tell them at least three times to get dressed every single morning. And we are constantly running out the door late. So thanks to CB, we have a new plan in effect. Each kid has a list of specific things they are expected to do before school, after school, and at bedtime. It's all very simple things like "get dressed" or "hang up your freaking backpack" or "brush your teeth" and so I don't think asking them to do these things without me telling them a million times is any large feat. We sat down yesterday after school and I explained all of this to them. And if they should make me tell them to do something, it results in losing their videogame time for 1 day/week/month depending on how many times I have to tell them. Both CJ & Diva seem to think this is an acceptable amount of expectation, so I informed them it would take effect this morning.

And when I woke up today, choirs of angels were singing! They were dressed! And fed! And happily playing together without incident. I breezed through my own morning routine and all but skipped out the door to take them to school! Now, if afterschool and bed time goes as well as this AND continues on for any length of time, I just might be the happiest girl this side of the North Pole. . .

*Anyone who can recall the show where a certain baby would say this will be forever on my cool list

I suck!

I swear I have one of the most uneventful lives on this here interweb. So I'm sorry if you've stopped by here expecting to be entertained. Because I suck!

Lunchie was good, conversation better. It was really good to catch up with my cousin because frankly? she ROCKS.

I did spend last night tweaking and re-writing a Christmas play I found online. Because we had bought this really cool play for our kids to do at church this year. We were excited because there are a lot of kids. Like 23 or so. But out of those 23, only 2 or 3 are actually willing to have speaking parts. SO when we tried to run through the play the first time (in the classroom, me their only audience), all I had was 20 very embarassed little children. Their faces were all red and they could barely carry out the actions, let alone try to speak. Needless to say, we had tossed the idea out the window.

But on Monday I came across a play that talks about Christmas around the world. It'll give the kids chances to be hula girls, mini-Steve Irwins, Angels, and Mary & Joseph. Without speaking! There are only 5 speaking parts (as opposed to the other play's 10+), and it should be pretty darn cute.

Only negative side is that I've been singing Mele Kalikimaka non-stop this whole week.

For my next post, I'm hoping to have something a little bit interesting, but I just don't know what to write about. Any suggestions?

Yawn

I'm still trying to recover from Tuesday night. I was far too crabby and tired yesterday to be able to tell you all how fantastic the play was. But it was AWESOME! Way better than the one I had seen in D.C. This one was the original Broadway adaptation--absolutely nothing like the movie but fantastic for all the same reasons.

Even better was the relatability factor. With Grease the movie, you have two pretty big name people in the title role. And you know them for the other things that they have accomplished outside of the character they play. But with the play, these people all looked like kids that went to my high school. Each and every one of them carried the character exactly how I had imagined them to be, only without that "big name" thing. It was awesome. And the food was to die for! We had a turtle cheesecake for dessert that literally melted in my mouth. I have NEVER tasted anything like that in my entire life! The only negative was the drinks. At first, I thought I'd be adventureous and try a Mistletoe Martini. It was pretty cool in theory--Vanilla Vodka & some other things that gave it a red and green look. And the drink was gorgeous. But it tasted like cough syrup. Nasty! SO then I went back to my new favorite--Cosmos. Because they are always good, right? WRONG! When that drink came, it was clear! Like no cranberry juice whatsoever! And again with the cough syrup taste. So I asked for a little bit more cranberry in it, and it came back with just a tiny little tinge of pink to the clearness. Bleurgh. But the food certainly made up for it.

Now I'm off to lunch with my cousin. I just happened to run into her yesterday whilst waiting for the kids at school. She's up from somewhere south (like Mississippi or something like that) for the week. And I know the drinks will be good because we'll most likely go to the coffee shop.

Odds & Ends

# of Days since Operation "Dammit I Need to Get Healthy--Again!" began: 2
# of ounces of water drunk: 76
# of trips to the bathroom: Too damn many to quantify

Now I remember why I strayed away from the whole "healthy" thing. When I drink my Coke (regular. Not diet) I don't have to go every five seconds. Now, the only thing I seem to get done is walk to and from the bathroom.

On the plus side, I'm increasing my step count. Yeah, I'm back to the pedometer. The goal is 8,000 steps per day this week. Yesterday and today haven't been going as well on that front, but I'm going to do really good the rest of this week!

**********

I'm going to see Grease tonight at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater. Everyone whose ever been there for a play says I'm in for a real treat, so I'm SUPER excited. The last time I saw Grease, I wasn't as impressed with it as I thought I would be. But now that I'm older and get a lot more of the "adult" references, maybe I will.

**********

I cut my finger last night. Bad. With a freaking butter knife. Actually, it was CB's fault because he was being stupid, but I'm the one who grabbed onto the knife. His response? Who gets cut by a BUTTER KNIFE? Well, evidently me, sweetie. Yeah. Hurt like a mo fo too. I told him I was going to turn him in for spousal abuse. He laughed & with the way the kids have been acting lately, I do believe this would be more of a vacation for him than it should be.

Realization of Humanity

So here's a funny story. . . I didn't get to sleep until about 3:00 this morning because I was scared I was having a heart attack. My left shoulder hurt something fierce and I had a little tingly sensation from my left earlobe down to my elbow. It freaked me the hell out. So I called the ER and they told me that it was probably a pinched nerve--nothing to be concerned with.

But when I woke up this morning, it still hurt, and I started to feel nauseous at work. This time I called the clinic, figuring I'd make an appointment for the end of the day. The receptionist kept me on the line until she could find a nurse, who then told me that I needed to be there right. now. I was at my other job, so I had to drive the 10 miles back to town so I could get to the doctor. They were concerned as to weather or not I was safe to drive. "I'm fine" I told them.

I drove 80 mph because I was *not* fine to drive. I was scared out of my wits. The whole drive, I could feel my heart in my throat and I was just crying and praying. Then I got to the clinic and felt like I was going to pass out in the waiting room. "Great" I thought "I'm going to freaking die in a waiting room."

I finally got into the doctor, who took my blood pressure and ordered blood drawn and an EKG. Then I had to wait. And wait. And wait some more. After about a half hour of worrying, he finally came back. Everything is normal (Praise the Good Lord). My blood pressure was a little high, but figuring the stress I was under for the hour before they took it, that was to be understood.

My orders were to come back in a couple of weeks and have my bp checked again. Other than that, I'm as healthy as can be.

But I can't tell you how insane that fear was. Fear that I wasn't going to see my family again. Fear that my kids were going to grow up without their mommy. Fear that I was going to miss out on so many more things over the rest of their lives.

So that's it. I'm on the workout plan hardcore next week. Because I will NOT make my kids grow up without their mommy.

Off to go hug everyone a little tighter. . .

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Hi Neighbor! I'm trying really hard to remain upbeat. One funeral was yesterday, one is tomorrow. All in all, it's been a long week for the kids at this high school. My heart is with them through all of this, but I'm trying to maintain life as normal as it can be.

And it truly is a beautiful day outside today! It's at least 75 gorgeous sunshine and a light breeze. Now, if it could be like this all the time (except for the week of Christmas, when it may snow 10 feet for all I care), I wouldn't whine about living here. But that would make my purpose in life disappear, and I would wither away to nothing. The negative side of all of this is the fact that the no-see-ums are out and about. And I forgot how much those little bastards hurt when they bite! If you don't know what they are, just thank the good Lord that you are safe.

I HATE the political season. It's kind of like Christmas--it starts earlier and earlier every year. Before we know it, the ads for the next president will start the day the first one takes office. But for as much as I hate the crap that leads up to Decision Time, I am OBSESSED with knowing the results. I tried to just go to sleep at my normal time last night, but my mind was racing with wonder. So I watched the news, only to see that the race for governer was essentially tied. This did not bode well for my mind. I can't go to sleep without the resolution, you know.

I got up, checked the stats, and was sufficently satisfied that Mike Hatch would win. Only to wake up this morning and see that our Tim Pawlenty rocked the house and won. The drama! The excitement! The sweet relief that this election is over and behind us!

I'm off to tap tonight, as is Diva while CJ is off to his little plaything. I started back into my workout routine (from which I'd abstained all summer long & was beginning to feel the effects in my pants button) yesterday, and my body is screaming at me today because of it. I hurt all over. So before tap, I'm going to douse my bloodstream with some Tylenol and hope for the best.

I've been working on getting a Glamorous Redneck store open over at Cafe Press. Only I suck at graphic design. Mostly because I don't own any of the Photoshop-type software. But, if I get this store up and running, would you be interested? Or would I be the only one buying a Glamorous Redneck thong? C'mon, be honest! :)

Rock the Vote!

I'm going to go marginally PSA on your asses today, so hold on!

I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, because--well--I think there's only one person that stops here from Minnesota and so it wouldn't do any of us a whole lot of good. So if you don't know who the candidates are in your area or what they stand for (and are sick and tired of the freaking political ads) go to Vote-Smart.org. You can type in your ZIP code and get a list of all the people on your ballot. If you can't get in there (it was being really slow when I was checking the link), then just go to your state's website. There should be a link there where you can actually see the ballot.

You HAVE TO VOTE! That's all there is to it. If you are 18 or over and an American citizen, you have NO EXCUSE not to vote. Think your vote doesn't count? There are probably at LEAST 10, 000 people in your state that feel exactly the same way. And that, my friends, is a decision making number.

So go now. I'll wait. Besides, I still haven't uploaded pictures from this weekend, so I don't have anything interesting to say.

Except Vote. NOW.

That is all.

I'm Glamorous Redneck and I approved this message. *snicker*

Another One

I was all ready to tell you about our fantastic excursion to the Mall of America (MOA), until we got a call yesterday afternoon that ANOTHER area teenager died yesterday morning.

I’m in shock. That’s one from each class except this year’s freshmen at our high school. The school that I live right across the street from, and where my girls I used to babysit are now sophomores and juniors. I want to just sit them down and try talking to them. But I don’t know what good I can possibly do. They will bury one of their school mates tomorrow, and I don’t know that the news has entirely broken about this kid.

I see a lot of people just sort of shaking their heads. Wondering what is going on, wondering what else can possibly happen. The kids are wondering which one of them is going to be next. And the adults are wondering how they can help these poor kids cope with the loss of yet another young life.

The thing with all of this is that there just isn't a lot of death around here. You read the obituaries and they are mostly people over the age of 85. So for these kids to have to bury four of their friends in the past six months, it's just totally unheard of.

It makes me realize (and appreciate) how sheltered we are out here. This will all be front page news because it just. doesn't. happen. If there can be anything positive out of this it is 1) these familes are surrounded by an entire community that hurts with them and is going out of their way to care for them and 2) my kids will grow up in a town where violence and death is not a regular part of their day.

And I think I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: I am a fixer. I like to fix problems and make things as painless as possible for everyone involved. So the fixer in me wants to just go to all these kids and hug them. I want to tell them that these were all freak accidents and the important thing is to appreciate the people around you because you never know when the last time you see them will be.

So, if you pray, please pray for all these kids. Pray for their parents and the leaders in our community to have the appropriate words to say to give them the most comfort possible in this scary time.

Just for today

Our area has lost another young life. A Junior from the high school in my town was killed this weekend while—ironically—filming a pedestrian safety video. My heart hurts for that family. My heart hurts for the family of the poor girl behind the wheel of the vehicle. A girl that I’ve known since she was 11 years old. She’s got a long road of recovery ahead of her, and I can only pray that she finds strength in the outpouring of support and well-wishing from the entire community.

I didn’t take it into consideration, but after reading an article in the local paper, that makes 9 people under the age of 20 that have lost their lives in the past eight months or so. All of these deaths were freak accidents. Like the paper said, none of these kids were doing anything that parents normally warn their kids against. One was riding his bike, two were on their way to a family member’s house, and now this poor family has lost their son because he was trying to do a really good thing.

It’s amazing, really. Nine people wouldn’t seem like a lot in a bigger city, I suppose. But if you consider the fact that there are maybe 20,000 people in a 50 mile radius, that is a LOT of young kids dying. So much so that a Christian radio show gave a one night concert to the biggest city around here, which has lost the brunt of youth. Five kids in one month I believe.

The realization is making it really hard for me to feel like doing the blogging thing. Now, I’m not going anywhere, because really it’s stupid for this all to upset me as much as it is. I didn’t know the kids, I don’t know their families. The only thing I do know is that I cannot imagine having to bury my child. And that is what’s hurting my heart most of all. I put myself in those parents’ shoes and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I know it’s there. I know it’s strong and just as bright as it ever was. I just don’t know that I would be able to see it through the tears in that situation.

So I’m a little somber at the moment, but it will end. And then I’ll be back in full force, commenting on all of your blogs too. I swear. I’m allowing myself today to be sad. Tomorrow brings a new day, and a fun day for the kids. So come Monday, I’ll be back with stories and possibly pictures of how we spent our weekend.