What do rednecks carry with them? Umm. . .lessee. . .I’ve got my checkbook, lipstick, my cell phone, credit cards, driver’s license and loose change all comfortably organized in a too cute for words brown purse.
Redneck thong Dude. Seriously? The skit on Foxworthy’s Big Night Out where Sara Evans has to be with the two hunter guys and ends up doing a commercial for their beef jerky underwear for the ladies comes to mind.
Glamorous Why thank you! I’m like #3 on this list.
What do you get a redneck for Christmas? Well, Country Boy, you could buy me this, or this, or anything from
here.If you really wanted to impress me, you could buy me this. And if you wanted to be forever be on the Glamorous Redneck Good List, you could buy me this (a steal at $4 Million on the ultra-glamorous island of Coronado). And then I would love you forever.
Redneck Christmas Well I don’t know about other Redneck Christmases, but as for our house, it’s going to consist of massive quantities of food, family, friends, and moolah spent on making sure everyone is happy.
I’m dreaming of a Redneck Christmas You are? Really? Cuz I’ll totally trade the RC for an NYC Christmas.
Redneck Christmas Traditions Again, I don’t know what other traditions are, but ours are fun things like Christmas caroling, baking, and making presents for all the kids’ friends.
Redneck parade What? There’s a PARADE?!?! Where? When? And why am I not the Grand Marshall?
Redneck car fixers They ain’t no good, I’ll tell you what.
Hangover shoulder hurt Oh, honey, if you hurt your shoulder last night, I’m the LAST person that you should be talking to. Take two asprin, drink about a gallon of water and call me in the morning.
3 comments:
Those are hilarious. I never get any good search terms, except for the occasional really disturbing ones. But even they are generally weeks and weeks apart. Oh well. I like the Christmas list!
OMG! LM-Fing-AO!!!
It was the redneck parade that tipped me over the edge. At least I was drinking Coke while I was reading. I have had to wipe down the monitor before.
All I get (surprise, surprise) is expressions of love. Sometimes it's french expressions of love or written expressions of love, but it always comes back to my title.
I found your blog on Stacy Holmes's blog. I couldn't resist clicking on the "Glamourous Redneck". I live in California and being a redneck in California is NOT an easy deal.
Btw, your post is HILARIOUS!!!!
LMAO.
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