Scurvy Pirates are HOT!

Friday night CB and I pawned the kids off on his mom and dad and headed to semi-civ for an evening of dining and a movie.

I have wanted to see one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in a theater since the first one came out. And since I get the sneaking suspicion this is a nice little bookend to the trilogy, I INSISTED that CB take me on a date to see At World’s End. We had been hearing horror stories all week about how the theaters were selling out! And selling tickets days before the movie opened! So, as soon as we got to semi-civ, I went in and bought our tickets for a later show. I had to wait in line for a whole two minutes before I walked back out with them in hand. Then we headed over to the Home Depot because I have not yet wasted enough of my life in that store and CB needed more things for TRPTWNE (The remodeling project that will not end for you new people) ’07. I spent most of the 45 minutes we were in the store drooling over paint colors. We are painting almost every room in our house this summer, so I was trying to decide which color went best where and did I really want white sand as opposed to white shore? CB finally decided that he had enough screws, tools, and nails to finish the project, so we left there and headed over to Applebee’s for dinner. It was delicious as always and I left feeling a little tipsy and a LOT stuffed.

We made our way into the theater, where they had not allowed anyone into the actual theaters yet. I got a little glimpse of what all the fuss was about because there was a TON of people standing in the lobby waiting to get in. CB and I got to the end of the line just as they let everyone in. By the time we got into the theater, the place was PACKED. I had forgotten that it was only a PG-13 movie, which meant that every little 13 year old was, like, totally without their parents at the movie—which is, like, totally cool. We finally found crappy seats on the side two rows from the front and one row in front of three little boys that must have just gotten their swearing license because every other word out of their mouth was the F-bomb. They were ridiculously annoying, but thankfully stopped talking during the movie.

Now, usually when I go to the theater I am freezing. So, I planned as such and dressed warmly. This was stupid because all the body heat in there had made it feel like we were in a tropical local. I hadn’t been smart enough to wear layers, so I just tried not to move too much since every time I did heat escaped from my sweatshirt and right into my face.

The MOVIE! It was amazing! Even from crappy seats sweating my butt off, the two hours and forty-seven minutes flew by. I LOVED it. I totally want to see it again. And again and again.

Can I just say how insanely hot Johnny Depp is in this movie? Although I had his posters from Tiger Beat on my walls when I was little, I never really thought he was that good looking. But holy hell, throw some ratty dreads and rotten teeth on the man and it’s all I can do not to drool. Even Orlando is hot! I’ve never liked him at all. I think he looks like he’s twelve. Only not in this movie. He’s marginally bad ass in it and I think THAT’s what made him hot.

If you are planning on going to see it, I highly recommend the movie. And, as always with these movies, make sure you stay until the end of the credits as there’s an awesome little surprise at the end. That’s the part that I saw Orlando in and was like “dang. I get it now!”

Now I'm Freeeee/Freee birthin'

I happened across an article on MSN yesterday that was talking about the latest trend in labor and delivery of children. “Free birthing” is a supposedly “empowering” birth experience without medical intervention (read the article here if you’re curious). Seriously, it’s legal as long as YOU are the one that catches YOUR baby. It becomes illegal if an untrained husband or friend assists in any way.

This absolutely boggles my mind! Now, we are getting pretty close to six years since the last time I had any labor pains whatsoever. But the pain is still fresh in my mind. It is certainly NOT something I would want to do all by MYSELF! Seriously, who has the wherewithal during delivery to actually deliver your own baby? I couldn’t even remember how to breathe, let alone how to do the whole thing all by myself!

So what’s your take on it? Would you do it, Ladies? I know that women have been giving birth for thousands of years without medical assistance, but the thought of doing the whole thing all alone is frightening to me. And it sounds dangerous!

Blogaversary!

I didn't even pay attention, but as of yesterday it's been one year since I moved in here at Glamorous Redneck!

I can't even begin to describe how much fun y'all have made my little corner of the interweb! I've made so many cool "friends" here. I've laughed, cried, and complained with the best of the best.

I just want to thank all of you for stopping by each and every day. For taking time to comment on my ramblings. And most of all, for being YOU! I hope you all have as much fun here as I do at your blogs.

So, happy Blogaversary to me!

Dancing with GR

On Saturday night Diva and I packed up and headed over to the High School to hang out until it was time for the Recital. Once the crowd started filtering in, I started getting a little nervous. But Diva was just as excited as can be. She was READY. TO. PERFORM!

I settled in a seat at the way back of the auditorium so as to be able to make a quick exit when our turn to dance came. The first three dances went on and then it was Diva and her class’ turn. They were adorable. It was their tap first and they did it to “Born to Hand Jive.” Diva even threw in a little improve and—according to several other people—stole the show. I got a little choked up at the end of the dance.

I didn’t think I’d be so emotional, but dang that girl has dancing in her veins. You can see it in her eyes while she’s smiling and spinning and tapping her way through the routine. And I was just so proud of my little girl dancing in the front row!

A few more dances came and went and before we knew it, it was our turn to show off what we’d spent the last nine months learning. As we were standing backstage, I had a brief moment of “What the hell was I thinking?”, but once the curtains flew open and the music started, I was having a blast! Everyone screamed for us when our dance was over. And while I think it was mostly because our dance teacher was out there and no one has seen her dance on stage in years, I’m so not above saying that we got the loudest applause of the night.

It felt like such a huge accomplishment to be standing there as the curtains closed. Afterwards, we had so many people come up to us and say how brave we were and how awesome we’d done. And I think I even recruited a couple more people for the class next year.

Now we take a break for the summer. It was an unbelievable nine months filled with frustration and excitement and it all culminated with this hugely rewarding feeling of “Holy crap, I learned and performed a TAP DANCE!”

So, if you've been secretly wishing all your life to take dance classes, check around and see if any studios offer adult classes. Because you're never too old to dance! Besides, if I can do it, anyone can!

Glamorous Embarrassing Moments

So Friday we hopped on the extremely cramped bus and drove a little over an hour to a little town called Sandborn. There we traveled to a farm place where the guy authentically built sod houses (using the actual tool and everything) with the exception of adding a rubber inlay so as to save himself the trouble of having to rebuild them every five years or so.

These houses were insanely small. So small that I don’t think I’d be able to get all of my clothes inside of it and still have room to move, let alone live there with four other people who only bathed once a week. There is also what’s called a “soddie”, or a rich person’s version of the sod house. It’s a bit bigger, and you can actually stay in it. Seriously, they’ve set it up as a bed and breakfast! People actually pay money to dress in pioneer clothes, have no electricity, and no running water. Crazy, I say! But it was done up really nicely and unless you looked up and saw all the branches holding the roof together, you’d never notice that you’re in a house built out of dirt. Needless to say it was a very educationally awesome stop.

The next stop was a town called Walnut Grove. This was evidently one of the multiple places Laura Ingalls and her family lived whilst she was growing up. Her book On the Banks of Plum Creek is set along a pretty little creek (Plum Creek, if you can believe it) just a mile or so outside of the town. We started out there, walking over to where Laura’s dugout was located and where the table top mountain is, then down to the Big Rock where she’d watch the cattle go by (if you’re a nerd like me and have read the books a frillion times, you’ll know just what I’m talking about.).

After that, we headed back into town where the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum is. They have all sorts of fun things like replicas of the school house, another sod house, a church, and Grandma’s House. They also have the actual mantle that was inside the Ingalls residence on the TV show.

Inside the gift shop they had cool things like pioneer clothes you could by, old TV memorabilia (including a Bionic Woman lunch pail thermos. I have no idea what that has to do with LIW, but it was a cool find nonetheless.), and authentic toys and candy. CJ bought himself and Diva some marbles, a little toy where you try and get the ball into the cup, and a rock candy sucker.

We headed back home and CJ was sufficiently appreciative of how easy we have it now. He had no idea how kids managed to survive without Play Station 2.

But the best story happens to come from the sod houses at Sanborn. CJ’s teacher informed all of us chaperones that we needed to walk in front of our group of kids. I had been walking behind because I figured this would be the easiest way to keep an eye on them all. So, when she said to get in front of them, I stepped off the little gravel path to try and sneak up in front of them. However, I tripped over something in the grass. While I’m usually pretty good at recovering from a trip (I do this quite often), I couldn’t recover from this one. So three stumbling steps later I landed with a big ol’ THUD and my face in the grass. The kids all thought it was funny and I hurt nothing but my pride. The rest of the day my little group of kids kept making sure that I was in front of them. I told them I was just trying to prove why it’s so very important to STAY ON THE DAMN PATH!!!

So there you have it, a Glamorous Redneck embarrassing moment. But hey, I never said I was Graceful.

When going back to work feels like a vacation. . .

It's sad when I breathe a little sigh of relief as I walk into the silent (and windowless) office space I call my job. I never thought I'd be so happy to be sitting here. Alone. No one to talk to. It's bliss, I tell you! Bliss!

A brief rundown of the week that was:

Wednesday: I ended up having to work later than I normally do, so I rushed around like a mad woman trying to get everything done before dance class. Sucked.

Thursday: Instead of going to the funeral, I took my friends' kids so they could go to the funeral (they are our pastor & wife) and be available for the family. Which turned out to be a lot of fun. We went to the park and they entertained my own kids for hours on end.

Friday: The field trip was awesome. I never realized there was so much cool stuff in these little Podunk towns. However, this day deserves its own entry, so that'll come tomorrow. Dress rehearsal went fine as did singing in the park.

Saturday: CB got the floor on the back porch! We now have two doors to the outside world that are again fully functional! Except now he has to redo the steps because there was too big of a jump. Which made for a very crabby CB. This is a theme that continued for the rest of the weekend. The recital was AWESOME! Talk about a feeling of accomplishment. This one also is deserving of its own entry. (Wow! Fodder for multiple posts! How will I EVER survive?)

Sunday: The baby shower was super fun. Good food and fun conversations. I do enjoy the cheesy shower games, but there is something to be said for just eating, opening presents and socializing.

So there you have it. I'm glad that this week has considerably less on the agenda. I don't think I'd be able to take two weeks like that in a row!

Adventures in Gardening

The thyroid drugs have given me a much needed energy boost. I no longer spent each day living for the next opportunity to sleep. In fact, I can barely fall asleep at night and am waking up before my alarm. After spending the majority of my life NEVER waking up without pushing the snooze button at least once, this is a new feeling and I’m not entirely sure if I like it or not.

So, in my new burst of energy there was this hidden Suzie Homemaker boost. I’ve suddenly decided to do things like “cook meals from scratch” and “drive a mini-van”. But perhaps the strangest new development is my desire to "have a garden". My Aunt is practically a professional gardener. I’ve tried several times to have little flower gardens with marginal success. I don’t know why I do this. I hate the whole “weeding” business and cannot even keep houseplants alive for more than a month, because I conveniently forget to water them.

Last week I got a wild hair and went to the nursery for some plants. Marigolds, snap dragons, pansies and impatiens have all been grown before with mixed results at Casa de la Glamorous. But then I decided to buy some tomato plants because I a) know absolutely nothing about growing vegetables! and b) hate tomatoes! However, I do love me some salsa, and the thought of being able to make my own salsa held some appeal to me. And, with this whole healthy eating kick I’ve been on, I’ve decided that I need to try to like some more healthy stuff. I used to love cherry tomatoes when I was little, but then I discovered things like Mochaccino M&M’s and DiGiorno stuffed crust pizzas and my secret recipe Chocolate Chip Cookies and all those healthy things sort of jumped down to the very bottom of the list. So, I’ve planted three different types of tomatoes: one for salsa, one for cooking, and one for eating raw.

Yesterday, I totally thought I had killed them all off. We had 90’s for temperatures on Sunday and Monday, and then the temperature dropped down to 68 yesterday. All my poor little plants were kind of wilting and looked half dead. So, I hauled out my trusty watering can, mixed some Miracle Gro in and tried to revive them all. Lo and behold, this morning they are all looking oh-so-perky and may have some new blossoms on them. I’m waiting not so patiently for the snap dragons to bloom because they are my favorite to play with.

So, once the plants get some more pretties on them, I’ll be sure to post pictures (including a montage of how I play with snap dragons in case you’re thinking I’m a freak. Which if your just thinking it now, you’re probably reading for the first time, so Hello! Welcome!!).

Any well-seasoned gardeners out there that want to share advice would be forever on my favorite people list.

Glamorous Runaround

Remember in that last entry when I was all “Don’t get married in May unless you want to share your anniversary with everyone and their mother?” Case in point: Here is how I will be spending the week up to and including our anniversary:

Last night (Monday)-Take Diva to summer dance class. Help friend with Girl Scouts tea party. Which was too much fun for me. It was so cute to hear the little girls using their manners “Please pass the tea pot? Why thank you!”

Tonight-Music practice for church. Also have to squeeze my work out in and clean my now officially haz-mat house.

Wednesday-Need to get to Semi-Civ for things needed for Sunday. Also have last dance practice before recital.

Thursday-Funeral for a friend’s sister that passed away. Maybe Bible Study, which takes up most of the night.

Friday-Field trip with CJ for the day. Then dress rehearsal for the dance recital. Then singing at a Relay for Life event in a neighboring town. Then collapse on bed from exhaustion.

Saturday-Recital!!! Hair, makeup, costumes will probably take up much of the afternoon.

Sunday (our anniversary)-Church, then prep for Baby Shower!!! I’ll maybe see my husband somewhere around dinner time.

So, as you can see, it’s mostly fun stuff, but this is always how my month of May looks. Every year. And, actually, I seem to have one or two things added each time.

I’m really glad we had last weekend to go out. CB took me to this awesome Greek restaurant in Semi-Civ where we dined on our inaugural hummus appetizer. I was surprised at how good the stuff is! We had pita chips to dip in it and then were brought a basket of warm pita bread too. The food was all delicious and I do believe we’ve found a replacement for our usual Applebee’s date!

Stay tuned tomorrow for some Glamorous Redneck gardening tips!

The one without a purpose

See me? See me going on my little hiatus again? Yeah, I’m good at that.

So we got the mini van, and every little twinge of ick I feel about it melts away when CJ looks at me and says “Mommy, I’m SO HAPPY we have a van!” OK, so I still kinda cringe when I get in it, but it’s only as uncool as you let it be. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it be even the least bit uncool. The good qualities certainly outweigh the bad, and while I’m quite content to drive around in a little car (a Pontiac Solstice or Mustang would suit me just fine, thankyouverymuch), I’ve got a bunch of tall people in my family. CB is 6’ 4”, and (thankfully) the kids have taken after him in the height department (which makes me insanely jealous of Diva’s legs because they go on FOREVER and she’s only 5), but that means that everyone else in the fam is cramped whilst I am completely content in something smaller. So, like I said. Mini van = Good thing. Carrie’s Ego – Mini Van + Children’s happiness = I’ll get over it.

The week in a nutshell:

- Our anniversary is on the 20th, but that weekend is packed full of dress rehearsal, dance recital (which I am dancing at too!) and a baby shower, so we’re celebrating our 7th anniversary a week early. Without much pomp and circumstance (read: Dinner and shopping), but May is always so insanely busy (warning to all you unmarried peeps: DO NOT GET MARRIED IN MAY! Unless you don’t mind sharing your anniversary with field trips, birthday parties, and graduation ceremonies.) and then we’ll continue our progress on TRPTWNE 2007.

- I’ve decided to start gardening. So I got all my pretty flowers (along with some tomato plants) put in the ground last night, and it was much harder than I remembered it. But then I spent Wednesday pulling weeds and Tiger Lilies out of the flower bed. And trees! I’ve never seen so many little trees take up root in a flower garden. Then again, we have left the outside of our house untouched in the almost four years we’ve lived here.

- The weather has finally been highly cooperative. After having a garage sale in torrential rain last weekend, Mother Nature has rewarded us with blissfully sunny and 85 degree days. Heaven! Until the mosquitoes come out. . .

So that’s pretty much it. Highly uneventful, but that’s the way it goes. Only 15 more days of school and then I should have LOTS of fun stories of people watching at the various summer rec activities.

Seasons

When I moved out here to Podunk, I was the only new kid in the school. The rest of the kids had been together since Kindergarten. Needless to say, it was a little tough to make new friends.

But, in the years since, more and more people have been moving into the area. And we’ve seen a lot of out of state plates. A surprising amount from California. I want to scream to them “Turn around! Go back from whence you came!” to save them the trouble of first winters and mosquitoes the size of small birds. At the same time, I have to admire them because those of us that are smart spend a good season of our lives in California, but get out before we become jaded and oblivious to the realness of life on the outside of permanent sunshine and perfect weather.

There was a song back in about 99 or so that talked about living in SoCal once, but leaving before it makes you soft, and I think that’s really true. When you spend a long time there, things that normal people deal with every day become foreign. You become accustomed to breaking out the winter coats when the temperature dips below 60 degrees. You become unappreciative of the history and architecture surrounding the missions and museums. And of the size and organization of things like the Wild Animal Park and the San Diego Zoo.

So while part of me screams at them to get out while they still can, another part of me wants to tell them how much more appreciative one becomes of the things we take for granted when we get a glimpse of the “outside world”. We can appreciate the time we spent there, and hold it up on a pedestal for the whole world to see. But we can also hold it in our hearts as a great time in our lives, both grateful for the opportunity and thankful to be out of there.

Because when you’ve been there and are gone, you don’t have to remember the things like hostage situations that didn’t let you get home to your mom. Or two hour commutes that are only 20 miles long. Or not being able to find a place on the beach to park your towel. You can instead appreciate the days when you cruised down the PCH with the windows down and music blaring. And when you lucked out and found your own little piece of sand that no one else knew existed. You can close your eyes and see the sunsets without remembering that time you sat on a red ant hill.

A friend reminded me this week that there are seasons of life and “you can do anything for a season.” And she’s right. So, I’m looking at this whole mini van business as a season. One which will not last forever. That will serve its purpose and not be all pretty and perfect. But I’ll look back on it years from now and remember only the good things about it. And maybe—just for a minute—I’ll long for the days of mini vans and spilled juice. Then I’ll roll the top down on my Mustang and appreciate the new season too.

OMFG

I never thought I'd have to type the words that will be following shortly. Never in a million years did I dream I would be even THINKING about this, let alone actually doing it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe I am buying a mini van.

Do you KNOW how bad it hurts to even TYPE that?!?!? I get verklempt randomly throughout the day even just thinking about it. You see, I had convinced everyone in this house that we did not need a mini van. Because, seriously, why does a family of 4 that is not growing need something suited for a family of 8? *I* am NOT a mini-van kind of person. Am much more Mini-Cooper kind of person. Beautious little cars that I don't feel like one of those little old ladies that look through the steering wheel when I drive it. And I'm FAR too glamorous for this nonsense! Give me a big ol' gas guzzling SUV any day of the week and I'm totally down with that. But a VAN? Surely you gest!

However, it does have an auto start button, so there's that. I'm trying to be positive about the whole thing. Plus, the fact that CJ is already almost as tall as me and getting somewhat scrunched in the back seat of the Glamourmobile du jour is only going to get worse in the coming years. And it will be nice to be able to just go and grab their friends for birthday parties and take them up to the cities. Or something like that. If I'm desparate. And have a death wish.

A bit of a quandry

When I first saw the movie Grease, I was about three years old. Maybe older, but "You're the One that I Want" has been ingrained into my head for as long as I can remember. And it's been one of my top ten movies since those days.

For Christmas one year, my mom took me into DC to see Grease on stage. It was fabulous. A little different from the movie, but still fantastic. After we walked out of that show, I swore that if I ever had a chance to be involved, I would try out for a stage version of my favorite movie.

Then we went to see it again this past November. And it cemented my resolve to someday be my favorite character (believe it or not, Rizzo is my favorite)on stage. But, we live in an area where the culture doesn't so much exist.

So imagine my surprise when I saw that the community theater in a town just 30 miles from us will be putting on Grease this summer. Tryouts are in about three weeks. When I think about even getting the chance, I get little butterflies in my stomach. I mean, it's probably a frillion to one odds that I'd be cast as Rizzo--it is a college town with a pretty strong theater arts program--but even to just be a part of it is a dream come true.

But here's where the problem lies: The kids don't want me to do it because it would probably take up a lot of my time for rehearsals and such. I don't know that I have the time to dedicate to it. It's 60 miles round trip, and with gas getting to that dreaded $3 mark right now, one can only imagine what the price will be this summer. So I don't think CB will go for it either. I haven't even talked to him about it.

What do you think? Do I go for it anyway and point out to the kids that there's really not THAT much time taken up? Or do I wait for the chance somewhere else down the line? Word on the street is that the choir director here in Podunk has hopes of starting up a community theater, but who knows if Grease would ever be there?

Springtime, the only pretty ring time. Birds sing, hey ding!

Some signs that spring has sprung up here in Podunk:

-The last little corner of snow that stayed in my yard has officially disappeared!

-The dead grass that CB left to get too long last fall stands out like an elephant on a motorcycle what with all the pretty green stuff sprouting up underneath.

-Dandelions have made their presence known in many a yard

-The weather has held a 60 degree high day and an 80 degree high day. In the space of a week.

And my favorite signs that Spring is here:

-CB has started yet another (and final big project! Yay!) remodeling project that will not end. He has been threatened with bodily harm if this one is not done in a month.

-When the kids have spent any amount of time under trees or in long grass, they must strip so as to make it easier for me CB to check them over for ticks.

-I have my first official mosquito bite. Oh the joys.

Back in My Day. . .

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much things have changed since I was a kid. And the fact that so much has changed in such a short time just blows my mind. Just think:

1987: Cars were considered top of the line if they came from the factory equipped with a tape deck. Average cars were sold with an 8-Track.

2007: Cars are considered top of the line if they come from the factory equipped with a 6-disc CD changer. Average cars are sold with a single CD player

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1987: When you were the secretary at the office, you spent most of your day hunched over a typewriter, praying that you typed everything right so that you didn’t have to start all over again.

2007: The secretary at the office spends most of his/her day staring at the computer screen, general knowledge of spelling and grammar has gone down the toilet thanks to a little thing called spelling/grammar check.

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1987: The Barbie on everyone’s Christmas list was Executive Barbie (you know, the one that had a reversible three piece suit that changed for her evening date with Ken) or Doctor Barbie. Girls aspired to be those things and every girl wanted to grow up to be the first woman president.

2007: There aren’t Barbies on everyone’s Christmas list. It’s Bratz. The shorter the skirt and the darker the makeup, the better the doll. Executive and Office Bratz are unheard of. More fun is Genie or Sleepover Bratz (skimpy outfits of course). Girls aspire to be those things and most girls want to grow up to be the next Paris Hilton or Mischa Barton.

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1987: Songs were mostly about love, partying and heartbreak. Sexual innuendoes were there, but concealed enough that a seven year old would not pick up on them.

2007: Songs are mostly about sex, partying and hookups. Sexual innuendoes are so obvious that if I’m not careful, I have a five year old asking me what “sexy” is.

Can you think of any other things that have changed so drastically in the past 20 years?

Five more Glamorous Questions

Courtesy of The Superstar:

1. How has having children changed your life? Sheesh, it would be easier to answer how they HAVEN’T changed my life! I love more, I cry more, I laugh more, my patience gets tested more and I worry about the future more. They took my perfect little unorganizedly-organized world and turned it all upside down. And I love every single second of it!

2. If you could choose one place to raise your family other than the place you are now, where would it be? (you can't say that Podunk is Perfect and you wouldn't choose any other place. That ruins the fun!) I would NEVER say that Podunk is perfect. There are good and bad things about living everywhere. And even though San Diego is home and I would love for them to experience the childhood I was given out there, if I could pick ANYWHERE to raise them, I’d pick Northern Virginia. There is so much history out there (most of it within a two hour drive from where I lived when I was there) and I think you get a greater education from actually seeing things like the Civil War battlefields and the Holocaust museum than you can get from any old classroom textbook.

3. What is your movie guilty pleasure? Something you should never admit to watching much less loving... but you're going to anyway? ;) Hmm. . .that’s a tough one because pretty much every movie that I love has a severe cheese factor. The first ones that come to mind are the Princess Diaries movies. But, suffice to say that if you know of a movie that absolutely tanked at the box office, odds are that I own it and may or may not cry at the end of it. *ahem*

4. If you could pick one person in your life who has had the most influence on you and who you've become, who would it be and why? Probably my grandma. She taught me how to appreciate everyone, love unconditionally, get down on the floor and play with you kids (or grandkids), keep a grip on your passions (the ones that are your own, you know before Mr. Wonderful came along), and live each and every day like it’s your last one here on this earth.

5. What is that one song, that no matter where you are and what you're doing, you have to stop everything, turn it up, and sing at the top of your lungs, dancing along? Oh boy, you’re really trying to embarrass me with this one, aren’t you? ;) Music is so huge in my life that it’s more like a group of songs from stages in my life that make me crank up the radio (like 80’s Hair Bands from driving to the beach with my mom) (or SWV / Mary J. Blige / Boyz II Men from 7th grade rollerskating on Saturday nights) (or Nirvana from my 8th / 9th grade grunge phase). But if I have to pick ONE song, it has to be Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer”. It’s stupid, I know, but you have to know the story: I remember putting on a concert for our parents with my apartment friends at 5 years old, playing a footstool for a drum, BEING Bon Jovi, and lip-synching to that song. Every time I hear it, it brings me back to that time. The awesomeness of innocence and youth. Long before things like moving, divorce, or death had stripped away all of that.

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So there you have it. Five more things about me that you probably didn’t need to know. But seriously, I would blog every day if I had fun questions like this to answer! I’ll extend the offer again, that if you want to be interviewed, just comment here and I’ll come up with some questions for you!

The Reveal

You know, I haven't even talked about how fantastic our weather has been lately. Just two Mondays ago it had snowed--again--and it was freezing cold out. Now, the crappy sub-par temperatures have melted away into glorious spring days. We've spent every extra moment outside enjoying it and on Tuesday CB and I bought a decent sized grill to replace the little Hibatchi charcoal grill we'd been using for years. He's so very happy that I'm pretty sure he teared up a little.

These season changes remind me of just how much I love living in this state. Every crappy winter day makes me appreciate these awesome spring days even more. I love the way the seasons melt together before fully becoming their own. And I love the anticipation of the next season coming. Even though I hate winter with a fiery passion, I can't help but fall in love with that very first snowfall, or the way that it sparkles on the ground at night. And I hate humidity almost more than I hate winter, but those lazy summer days spent at the lake or having water balloon fights in the lawn are irreplaceable. So, I take the good with the bad, and try to remember why I love each and every season.

Now, the pictures. Here's the before (me trying to look pathetic. I'm all "Hello, not so Glamorous right now. Am much more Redneck. Plz fix.):
And then, 45 minutes and a whole lotta styling products later, the after:
Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of the back of your own head?!

Like I said before, I LOVE it. Only I don't know how to do it myself! I'll have to play more this weekend. So what do you think? Cute, right? :)

Can You Hear Me Now?

I’m starting to get a complex. I’ve emailed like three different people in the space of the last few days and haven’t heard anything back from any of them. Add to that a couple of other phone calls I’ve made that are unreturned and you’ll see the beginnings of the complex. Did I really contact these people? Or was it just that I dreamt about calling them or emailing them and then didn’t do it (which has happened before)? Am I in some freaky bubble where nothing is real and I’m left without any contact to the outside world????

In other news, I went through with the haircut. I’m at work now, though so no pictures for you. But I’ve been getting nothing but raving compliments on it from everyone I’ve talked to, so YAY! I feel like I was on my own mini-version of What Not to Wear (seriously someone NOMINATE ME for the damn show. I can take the criticism. I promise. K thx). Except I’ve still got the same crappy clothes and no new makeup. And I didn’t get to have a reveal party or go to NYC. OK, so maybe it was more like just a mini-makeover. I had to come home and re-do my makeup because I needed to look like a rockstar. Now, if Stacy and Clinton will just come knock on my door and sweep me off for my new wardrobe, my life will be complete.

Also, I happened across this incredibly, insanely funny website courtesy of Amalah’s post about her cat. So, if you’re looking for some procrastination (and are either in a room alone or with people who will understand random bursts of laughter), head on over to I Can Has Cheezburger. It’s freaking hilarious.

Update:I just went to I Can Has Cheezburger and they're down for a couple of days. SO don't go there today. But totally bookmark it. :)

Guilty Pleasures

So I have a little confession to make. I am obsessed with ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. I know it's odd and no one else that I've talked to watches it (other than my mom, which says a lot about the demographic that probably does watch it. Perhaps I need to frequent bridge clubs to find someone to discuss with.).

AI didn’t do it for me this year (mostly because I’m boycotting in support of my awesomely talented friend The Superstar was passed over by stupid AI producers who don’t know talent when they see it.), so I have turned all my obsessions to this fantastic show. Plus I may or may not still harbor a crush for the hottie that once was known as Steve Sanders. Ahem.

It’s been so long since I’ve actually “had” a TV show. In fact, I can’t think of one since Friends and Sex and the City ended. Because those were the last two shows that made me pause my whole entire life until they were over with. And now, thank you interweb, I don’t have to pause. I can procrastinate at work whilst watching last night’s episode on line.

But I do have a problem with the stupid results show (any results show for that matter). I HATE how they drag the whole thing out way longer than it needs to be. I despise the guest singers and the pointless pimping of their new albums. The best part of the DWTS results is Jimmy Kimmel and his dance partner/custodian Guillermo demonstrating one of the dances for the next week. I die laughing each and every time! Really, they could do all of this in 10 minutes or less. And I know it’s all about the $$$$ and exposure for the network, but it still bothers me.

In other news, I’m finally getting my haircut today. Like, getting a “style” so it’s not just nothing like it is now. Stay tuned for before and after photos. Unless it really sucks, which you’ll know because I’ll go all Britney and shave my head. I will, however, have much better taste in wigs.

5 Questions

I saw this meme over at Mr. Fab's blog and I couldn't resist getting a chance for the Fabulous one himself to interview me. The following questions are what I got:


1. You have lived most of your life in California and Minnesota, two states not known for rednecks. So what's with the moniker?

The moniker comes from a little inside joke that some friends and I have about living out here. It’s a tiny little town that completely shuts down on huntin’ opener and it’s completely acceptable for kids to miss a day of school (by kids I mean about half the male population and several of the girls) in order to drive “up north” to kill Bambi.

The Glamorous part of my name is the part that suits me. I’m a big city girl. Always have been, and no matter where I live, I always will be a big city girl. I’m all about Old Hollywood, and the high class associated with it.

So I’m my own oxymoron. (For a more detailed description, go here: Why Glamorous Rednek?)

2. You were born during the Year of the Sheep. Does that qualify for discounts on wool?
I was? The plates at the Chinese restaurants always tell me I was born in the year of the monkey. And no, as far as I know it does not give me discounts on wool (nor did being a monkey give me discounts on bananas)

3. When the alien overlords come down and begin pulverizing us with giant metal hammers, what will be your argument to them for letting you live?

Will they even FIND me out here? I don’t know, I’m cute? Because only I will be able to explain both small and big city life to their scientists.

4. You live in Minnesota. Doesn't it creep you out living that close to Canada?

Not too much. The only thing that freaks me out about living up here is the accent. Seriously it’s the weirdest sounding accent in the entire country (well, except maybe Boston’s)

5. You have a boy and a girl. Which gender do you think it is easier to raise?

Boys are definitely easier than girls. Not to say I don’t love both of my kids equally, but when it was just CJ, I was like “Psssh, this parenting thing is easy!” Then Diva came along and brought all the chaos and the drama (Oh, the DRAMA! Everything is the END. OF. THE. WORLD.!) that comes along with having a little girl. I’ve been told that as they grow up, things kind of flip flop.

But then I look at me & my brother and it’s completely opposite. I was easy (this is according to my mom, not just my own assumptions) and my brother is a pain in the arse.

However, the general consensus in conversations I’ve had with other moms seems to be that, yes, boys are easier than girls.

Wanna Play?

Just leave me a comment saying "Interview ME!" and I'll either email or post on your blog 5 questions. Then let me know when you've got it up so that I can check out your answers. :)

My First Car

Eleven years ago—right around this time—my grandpa called my mom to let her know that he’d found a car for me. When Mom hung up the phone with him, she told me the news and told me that it was a Bug (that’s what Grandpa had said). “Woo Hoo!” thought I. I’ve always loved Volkswagen Beetles, so I was ecstatic at the thought of getting one of my own. He told Mom that he’d be home in a couple of hours & we could come take a look at it.

However, when I got there, I found this*:



Which is not this:

“What IS this thing?” I fumed to the adults.

“Well, I guess it’s a Chevy Chevette,” replied my mom.

This did not a happy Glamorous Redneck make. Not only was it NOT a Bug, but it had 4 doors! Like a family sedan! Gack! I will so NOT be cool when all my friends see this. Plus, I’m a Ford Girl (make fun if you must but YOU WILL NOT CHANGE ME), so the fact that it was a CHEVY was enough to make me hurl. And on top of all of it *I* had to pay my grandpa $500 for this POS.

“Whatever,” I finally answered. I mean it WAS a vehicle. It did give me freedom to not rely on my parents for transportation anymore, so I was game.

I came to learn that this was a car with character. When I was finally able to get my license (in July, not January because of when I had to take driver’s ed), I wasn’t allowed to take the stupid thing out of town. It would randomly do things like flood when I stopped and just quit running as I was driving down the street. Worst of all, only one of the speakers—which happened to be in the back on the passenger’s side) worked. I basically told everyone that I was NOT paying for this car anymore unless they fixed it for me (seriously I have NO IDEA where Diva gets her flair for the dramatic). My dad thought he could fix the stereo problem, so one Saturday afternoon he took it all apart, only to find that he couldn’t fix it, and had instead killed the entire system. I was livid to say the least. So, I stole his little radio from the garage and planted it in between the driver’s seat & the passenger’s seat.

I don’t remember why, but my mom finally decided to let me drive the car out of town. When I was about 10 miles out, the speedometer quit working. Like would not move from 0. And I drove it like this for almost a year without being pulled over! Then the horn stopped working. THEN I was in a hurry one day and didn’t realize I’d already turned my blinker on & ended up breaking the blinker thing-y off, so I had to jam my thumb up inside the steering column to use my signals. It sucked.

When winter came around (yes, this was all in the first 6 months of having this car), I gave up on the thing and told the parental units that I was not driving it anymore, and they would either have to let me take their car or they would have to play chauffer. I figured this would get me a new one because I worked at a bakery & had to be to work by 4:00 on Saturday mornings. My plan was foiled and instead of getting a new car, they just paid to get all the things wrong on the ‘Vette fixed. So I was stuck with it.

I drove the car (which my friends and I had dubbed “The Stylin’ Black Bug” or “Bessie” depending on how she was behaving) until the June after I graduated. Then my parents upgraded their car & I got their old one.

But that was an awesome first car, not without it’s good memories (like going into a ditch backwards and having two drunk guys have to pull me out) (or locking my keys in the car and having The Ex come and break into it for me). And it has made me fully appreciate the cars that I’ve had afterwards. Now, I almost wish we would have held onto it because it got awesome gas mileage and would have made an awesome beater car for CB to drive to and from work.

So, what was your first car? Did you love it? Do you still have it?

*(also, let us discuss for a minute the hideousness of this fashion choice. I call it "2 grunge 4 U" my entire wardrobe from 1994-1996 consisted of various colors of this outfit. Oh, and one skirt, which was totally hot. Also, do you see the skinniness? I want to strangle 16 year old me and say "You WERE skinny, you FREAK! Now wear some damn girl clothes! I should also discuss the hair, which I had dyed a month before this picture and had been green for awhile before it faded. And I do believe I had just gotten off work & so my hair was matted down from all the donut grease.)