All worked up for no reason

So my dad wussed out and didn't come to the party last night. Which is fine I guess.

And I guess he didn't really wuss out. Because Mom was at my house when Dad came by walking the dog. He goes out of his way to try and talk to her and she replies with one-word answers, if she's not busy ignoring him. Seriously, it's like having two kids in my house. But anyway, he left after a couple of minutes with an "I'm an idiot [because I still love her and would take her back in a second, but she will barely give me the time of day]" (I added that last part for clarification). So it was probably for the best that he decided to stay home.

Plus, it was freaking freezing out last night! I went out yesterday at lunch time & it was a beautiful day. 60 degrees out and the sun was shining--it was almost like Fall! When it was time to walk over and pick up the kids, I figured I didn't need a coat on because I was hot with one earlier. Boy was I wrong! In the 2 hours I'd been inside, the temp dropped about 20 degrees and the wind picked up. It was one of those blustery winds that chills you right to your marrow. And it didn't let up until about an hour ago. Cuh-razy!

Which means that it's going to be frigid tonight for Trick-or-Treating. Which means that I am oh-so glad that CB has elected taking the kids across the country side instead of sitting at nice, warm, cozy music practice for church. Hopefully I'll beat them home and have a batch of homemade hot chocolate waiting for them when they get there.

So Happy Halloween, everyone! Stay safe, and if you live up here in north country, stay WARM! :)

A Bit of a Quandry

I realize I've been in a bit of a funk lately, so if you're one who comes here every day, I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I guess no news is good news because there just really hasn't been anything happening that's been of interest.

That could change tonight. Because our community center has a Halloween party tonight. This is an annual event that my mom, my dad and I have been taking the kids to since Diva was a baby. Last year it was different because of the whole parents getting divorced thing. Glamorous Mom lives in a different city now, and couldn't make it to town for the party last year. She is coming this year. As is the Glamorous Dad. Neither of them know the other will be there. Is it mean of me to not say? Because if I would have told my dad prior to today, I would have had to listen to him complain about how my mom's off her rocker and him asking me if I have anymore inside information (which hello? She knows I talk to you every damn day, GD, why would she tell me anything?!?!?). And if I would have told my mom, she might not have come, which would devistate the kids.

So is it wrong? Is it wrong for me to want to try keep as many traditions alive as I can? It's not like it was a bitter knock-down-drag-out divorce, but there's still uncomfortable-ness involved. Then I'm constantly running between the two of them, making sure that everyone is as comfortable as they can be. But dammit, I feel like it's my right. It's like no one took into consideration the fact that them splitting up effects more than just them. And frankly, I'm still a little bitter about the whole thing. So is it spite that's making me keep this little detail from them? I don't think so. I'd like to think it's just my mamma bear instincts kicking in so I don't have to explain another absence to the kids. Because that pisses me off.

Anyway, /rant. I should have some more exciting details tomorrow. Perhaps I'll get lectured. Or perhaps everyone will get along famously and it'll just get the town talking about the fact that the entire Glamorous Family was sitting at the same table in the same room on the same day and--gasp--that must mean that they've reconciled.

The rumor mill, it is an endless source of entertainment.

High School Insecurities

It’s funny because when I was in high school (and cute) (and thin), I had this horrible self-image problem. I was constantly worried that I wasn’t good enough, fast enough, smart enough, or pretty enough for anyone to care. This was exacerbated when I moved in between 9th and 10th grade. I had just started to make friends, and now I had to start over again.

When I walked, it was with my head down. I didn’t want anyone to notice that I was the “new kid” (and in a small town like this, a new kid is practically front page news). I didn’t want to feel all the eyes on me. And I didn’t open up. Which meant that it took me a long time to make friends. Even when I did finally make those friends, I didn't really let anyone in.

It amazes me how truly insecure I was. And you know what’s even more strange? The fact that now, when I walk into that high school, my head instantly goes down, my arms hug around my middle and I can’t wait to get out of there.

So why is that? It’s not like I was picked on or anything. I was probably even one of the Populars if you got right down to it. I just don’t understand how those insecurities can still be hidden in me now, almost ten years later. When everywhere else I walk, it is with my head high, meeting everyone with a smile. I don’t think there’s a person I know who would consider the 26 year old (who’s now not so cute) (or thin) me insecure.

But I must still be. Or maybe it’s just that school. Coming into a small town and not being aware of how the system works is scary. Luckily I had a cousin here that showed me the ropes. Warned me which people to stay away from, and got me in with the very dear friends that I had while in school.

What about you? Did you spend your high school years with those insecure feelings? Have you walked back into your high school since then & felt them again? Discuss amongst yourselves. . .

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

There is a blindingly yellow orb hovering in the sky this morning! Surely the gray sky has dried up and is crumbling to the ground, leaving us all susceptible to alien brain-wave suckers!

What’s that you say? It’s the Sun? What is this sun that you speak of?

Seriously, it’s been so long since I’ve seen any sunshine, I was beginning to feel like it was already the middle of January, not the end of October.

Still tired, living a highly uneventful life as of right now. Don’t really have much to blog about.

So I’ll put it in your hands again. Any burning questions about a Glamorous Redneck that you MUST. HAVE. ANSWERED?

Then ask away. . .

Clues that I am too old for slumber parties

I went to St. Paul for the Women of Faith conference this past weekend. We left Friday afternoon & spent some time shopping beforehand. I had awesome luck & got a new jacket and jean skirt for me, three pairs of jeans, a skirt, cowgirl boots (she is her father's daughter after all) and a shirt for Diva, and a shirt for CJ. After using my coupon from an email I got, I walked out of Old Navy spending just barely $100. That is why I love that store! I had a bunch of fun coupons, but we were limited on time, so I didn't use all of them. Everyone I was with was surprised when I showed up with four rather large bags after just two hours of shopping. It's a gift, people.

Friday night after the conference, we headed back to our SUPER nice hotel room and stayed up all night. All. Night. As in I did not get to sleep from 8:00 Friday morning through midnight Sunday morning. I had little catnaps here and there, but nothing worth tallying up. And you know what the weird thing is? I wasn't tired. Like at all. Maybe it was the excitement of the weekend and all, but I couldn't even get to sleep last night until after 11.

Today, it has all caught up with me. I am wiped. I can barely read, a fact I was made blatantly aware of when I went to the store and bought Tide with bleach in the super mondo mega pack instead of regular Tide in the super mondo mega pack. We are a family of dark colors, so we would probably not use this box of Tide within our lifetime. Hopefully I'll be able to exchange it for the right stuff.

I also had to buy the stuff for the kids' costumes. This will go down on record as the cheapest Halloween ever. Total spent on each costume: $10. Diva is going to be a butterfly, so I just needed to buy her some wings, a black leotard, and black tights. I also bought black sweats for trick or treating because we live in the Frozen Tundra and it's too cold to be cute out there!

CJ decided to be Darth Vader, so I just had to buy him black sweats and a cape. He already had the talking helmet because my mom is a sucker and always buys them fun toys. Needless to say, I am pleased!

So how was your weekend?

The Stupidification of our Youth

We had parent teacher conferences on Tuesday. Of course, Diva and CJ are lovely and the teachers love having them in class, so there are no concerns there. The thing that concerns me is the kind of books they are putting out there for kids these days.

After conferences, I took Diva up to the Book Fair so she could pick out a new book. She quickly grabbed one with her favorite toy du jour, and we were on our merry way. I figured I didn't have anything to worry about, because I remember all our book fair books being the Cadelcott Award winners and things like that.

But when I got home, I was sadly disappointed. This book is TERRIBLE. I mean it's a cute premise and the general idea is good, but the vocabulary is atrocious! There are abbreviations of words that don't even make sense. And when it talked about best friends having sleepovers, it said that those times were great for LOL'ing. WTF?

Is that were we are headed? Do we need to start dumbing our kids down to speak cyber-lingo at the age of five? No wonder foreign schools are so far ahead of us developmentally!

I guess it just seems like the general quality of a lot of things has gone downhill as of late. Like the Powers That Be are more obsessed with putting out 10 loads of crap so they can sell as much as possible than they are with making sure what they get out there for kids is good quality story telling. I think of the dad in the movie Elf and how he wants to ship out a book where the last two pages are missing just because it will save them the cost of having to reprint the books.

And maybe I'm foolish to think that everything at a book fair should be of a higher calibur, but good Lord, it's SCHOLATIC! Scholastic should at least be. . .well. . .scholarly. Not like you're letting a 10 year old explain to a 5 year old what to expect now that she's got a BFF. Arrgh!

Perhaps what's bothering me the most is the fact that it's just making me feel even O-L-D-E-R than I already do.

What do you parents think? Have you noticed that the calibur of books has decreased in the bast 10 years? If not, what kind of books are you reading to your kids?

Also, there was a book that I loved when I was little, it was all done in black & white. You would read the story one way, then turn the book upside down and finish reading the story. It was super cool the way the pictures would change and was a really cool city story if I remember correctly. Do any of you remember a book like this? I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the book, so if someone else remembers it, PLEASE help me!!!

100 Glamorous Postings

I was thinking that my 100th post should be something of a retrospective. When I started this blog in May, I never expected it to be much more than my old blog. A place where I only had one comment about every three posts. And usually that comment was something from a stupid spammer. Then I moved to Blogger where there are way more people that come to see me. I probably owe a lot of that to BE, but I like to think that once I got into a better atmosphere, I became more excited about blogging.

There are some really cool people that I’ve “met” in the past five months, and I don’t think I ever would have if not for becoming Glamorous Redneck. I know it’s odd to say that I’m friends with people that I’ve never met, but it’s true. And I think I know more about some of you than I know about my best friend from High School.

The thing about blogs is that they allow you to be exactly who you want to be. For me, it’s a place where I can fully be myself. Y’all either like me or don’t, but I won’t really know if you don’t because I figure that those who don’t like what I have to say simply don’t comment. And that’s fine with me. There aren’t very many places in the world where I can do that.

So I guess what I really want to say is thank you to y’all. Thanks for reading my ramblings and putting yourselves out there for me to get a chance to know you. I look forward to another 1,000 more entries!

Glamorous Guest Post because I am Sick Again

*** This is ANO's guest post. My worthless ramblings follow the starts below***

First I want to thank the lovely Carrie for renting to me! I was very
happy to see that after giving her an arm AND a leg, she finally
accepted my bid. Just kidding folks, it was only half an arm.

I'm never sure what to say in a Guest Post. It's kinda like when you
go over to someone's house for the first time and you just sit there
on the couch with your hands in your lap. Ya'll know that feeling. It
includes that awkward silence and those looks of "what now."

I figured though that since renting is all about pimping another blog,
I'd pimp something I'm in. I'm sure most of you by now have heard of
25Peeps. Basicly it's yet another way to get traffic but this time it
all depends on a picture. You submit a photo of yourself and then hope
and pray that people click on you. The more clicks ya get, the longer
you stay! Pretty simple huh? Well, after waiting 2 months, yes you
heard me, I finally made it and my goal is to make the Hall Of Fame.
All I'm asking is you click here. That's it. Easy as pie!
Don't worry, the site has zero pop ups and everything is pretty clean
for the most part. You won't find any 100% nudity but you might see a
tummy which is mine.

If you click, I thank you. You're allowed to click once a day. Oh and
fella's, I'm sure you want to click the boobs with the purple/pink
border and necklace but those aren't a set of boobs. It's some dudes
ass.

Once again thank you to Carrie! You've been an awesome Land Lady!
Perhaps I'll share Dierks with ya!

*******************************************************************
Edit: The whole sharing Dierks comment reminded me that I got a PHONE CALL from his royal hotness himself today. OK so it was a pre-recorded thing & I'm sure 80 frillion other people got the exact same call, but DAMN I answered my phone and Dierks was talking!

Original Post: I have a nasty cold. Again. This time it seems to be shaping up to be a sinus infection, so woo hoo for me!

I will be revising this post with a guest post from ANO just as soon as I get it from her, but in the meantime, I'll entertain you with a freaking survey that everyone's favorite Montana Girl seems to be obsessive about. And has tagged me for it. So make sure you go over to Big Sky Girl and confront her, cuz we're staging an intervention, y'all.

3 Smells I love:
The Ocean
-Sex Wax© Surfboard wax (it's real, google it.)
-Good suntan lotion (the kind that smells like coconuts)

-3 Smells I hate:
-Driving through one of the little towns on the way to Minneapolis-it’s a combination of a sugar beet processing plant, an egg processing plant, and a fish hatchery. That crap is enough to make you gag, even with the windows up
-Sauerkraut
-Burnt Popcorn

3 Jobs that I have had in my life:
-Donut froster
-Student Center Manager @ college
-Video Store clerk

3 Movies that I could watch over and over:
-Phantom of the Opera
-Tommy Boy
-Sahara

3 Fond memories:
-Going to Disneyland for the first time
-My 26^th Birthday week
-Taking my kids to the ocean for the first time

3 Jobs I would love to have:
-Teacher
-Rockstar
-Professional makeup artist

3 Places that I have lived:
-Escondido, CA
-Temecula, CA
-Centreville, VA

3 Things I like to do:
-Look at other people’s blogs
-Write
-Read

3 Of my favorite foods:
-Tacos
-Fettucini Alfredo
-That Fiesta Lime Chicken at Applebee’s

3 Places I would like to be right now:
-San Diego
-New York City
-Washington, D.C.

3 Websites that I visit daily:
-eharlequin
-Blogs
-Gmail

3 Things that make me cry:
-Sad movies
-My babies growing up
-Leaving my family for extensive periods of time

Wanna play? I won't tag anyone, but if you want to post in my comments, have at it! Or, let me know that you've posted it on your blog so I can come read yours too.

Adventures in Chaperoning

I was going to post yesterday, but my fingers were so frozen from being outside that they didn’t defrost until this morning.

I went on a fieldtrip with Diva and at least 150 other Kindergarten and first graders. We went to a pumpkin farm that—if it hadn’t been so unbearably cold outside—might have actually been a really fun place to be.

About five miles away from the place, one of the three buses had a problem and had to pull over. So after about 10 minutes of reorganizing to get the kids from that bus onto the other two buses, we continued on our way.

Did I mention that it was freaking cold out?

And that I forgot my long underwear?

In all actuality, it wasn’t that bad. We were sheltered from the wind (which, hello? It is only October. We are not supposed to be concerned with a 20 degree (F) wind chill.), and most of the activities were inside (unheated) buildings.

After the first two places, we were supposed to eat lunch. And made a unanimous decision to eat on the buses because there is actually HEAT on them. But that was a fiasco as well, because there was another group still on the bus when we got on, so there was nowhere to sit. I had brought a little South Beach Diet lunchable-like thing that I figured I’d have no problem eating. And I wouldn’t have. If we had had tables. My knees did not serve sturdy enough, and I very nearly dropped the entire thing on the floor numerous times.

Once we were finished eating lunch, we went underneath the barn to look at female turkeys. Probably not the best place to go right after meal consumption. I headed back upstairs with one of the kids because he felt like he was going to puke. I wasn’t a bit sad about that because I was thinking it didn’t smell to fantastic myself!

On the way home, it was much less eventful. The little girl that was sitting next to me is one that Diva knows from daycare. We were chatting & I teased “Let’s have naptime!” She put her head on my lap and slept the whole way home. *tries to figure out how to harness her powers for good*

I’m really glad that I got to go along for the ride, I just wish it would have been a tish warmer!

Also, an update on the whole contact debacle: I found the other contact. On the sink in the bathroom. At home. Which means I DID NOT EVEN HAVE THE DAMN THING IN MY EYE!!!!!

Yes, reason number 1,561,284,581 why us “artificial” blondes give the rest a youse a bad name.

Go see my renter & other random randomness

So I was totally kidding last week when I said that everyone should send me chocolate. Lo and behold I get home from work yesterday and there is a large package in the mail. And, since I LOVE surprises, I was more than excited. I quickly tore open the package to reveal chocolate (caramel Hershey’s kisses, thankyouverymuch), a super cool magazine, a fun Halloween card, and a book that Big Sky Girl had said she was going to send to me (we had talked about it so long ago that I had totally forgotten about it until I saw her little note!). So now that I know who reeeeaaallly loves me, I’ll continue on with today’s post.

I was so excited this week when ANO had bid to rent my blog this week! She’s a super cool gal with a pretty pink layout. And she’s going to be a sexy ref for Halloween! Won’t you stop by this week and be sure to leave her a comment that GR sent ya!

Also, it SNOWED here this morning. The hell? Damn you, Minnesota! Just a few short days after I write a sappy post about how I’m starting to adjust and—hurk—maybe even like you, you go and do stupid stuff like this! Saturday it was so hot that we had to wear shorts. Today, I had to break out the turtleneck sweater AND the winter coat. And I’m STILL cold. Grrrr. I hereby declare that it shall not snow save for the week of Christmas. At which point it will snow 5 feet and cause us all to miss work. Then the day after Christmas it can all melt away and go back to a balmy 70 degrees out.

What? I don’t have the authority to request this? Fine. I’ll just bust out my electric blankie and spend the next six months huddled underneath it. Let hibernation commence.

Redneck Rewind

I was so busy telling you about how much I need to get to the city yesterday, I forgot to tell you about my fantastically redneck weekend!

Actually, it was only Sunday that was really redneck, but every day in Podunk is a RND to me.

CB is doing his mighty hunter thing (perhaps a name change is in order? Mighty Hunter might suit him just fine. . .), and he wanted to practice. He’s hunting flying things, so in order to practice, he needed someone to throw clay pigeons for him. No big deal, right? The City Girl figures that it can’t be much different than throwing a Frisbee. So I went out to the “shooting range” (which is actually just some old tires stacked up on either side of even older tree trunks that might possibly hold a paper target long enough for you to shoot at it a couple times) with the hubs and something similar to this:



See? It looks like it would be easy to operate, right? WRONG! After 25 tries (and only actually getting two of the stupid things out of the launcher), I had to quit. Because I could barely feel my arm! Whoda thunk target shooting would be such hard work?

Yesterday it was even worse. And I spent all day having to staple things. Do you know how awkward it is to try and use a stapler when your arm hurts so bad that putting mascara on practically reduces you to tears? Yeah. I ended up using my left arm quite a lot yesterday.

Now today it doesn’t hurt QUITE as bad, but it’s still pretty sore. I told CB that it was the first, last, and only time that I would ever be trying to throw targets for him. At least until we’re millionaires and he can buy one of those $500 set-ups where you sit in the chair and push a button.

After that whole ordeal, we went to see Open Season. Which was a lot funnier than I had anticipated. It’s not a purchasable movie by any means, but it was still good.

Now I’m off to find some high quality pain relievers. . .

Or you could just call me Little Miss Crankypants

I should know when it's coming by now. Once a month, almost like clockwork. I get cranky to the point of wanting to run away from everyone and join a circus.

No, not THAT, you fool! I'm talking about the need to get to Minneapolis. That was a condition of my not making my parents' lives a living hell when we moved here: We would go to the cities at least once a month.

Anyone want to venture a guess as to weather that happened or not? Surprisingly, it was fairly consistent. Although the frozen tundra of winter usually put a damper on travel (except for the time we went to Toy Story 2 on Ice. Remind me to tell you about that 4 hour trip).

But since I've been out on my own, it hasn't been nearly as consistent. And especially not since the OPEC oil cartel decided we all needed second mortgages to pay for our gas. Anyway, it usually ends up about four times a year, with intermittent trips to other, not nearly as glamorous, big city locals.

Now I haven't been since July and I'm getting that cranky feeling again. Usually a trip to the lesser towns feeds it, but I was in GlamorousBro's (Lord, he would KILL me if he knew that's what I was calling him. Tee Hee. Perhaps I'll make a shirt) college town just three weeks ago. And here we are, still cranky and still plotting what exactly it would take to get me committed to a Minneapolis hospital (not physical harm, you know, like a mental holiday). But! On the 20th I will be there! And it will be fabulous!

Then again in November, to go see Grease at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater! And in December to take the kids to see the Marshall Field's Macy's Christmas floor downtown. Which will of course mean that with no Dierks or Bon Jovi (shut UP, it's still fun to rock out to 80's music every now and again) or Nickelback concerts in the near future, I will not be back until next June. When the hubs wisks me away after I threaten bodily harm if I do NOT GET MY SHOPPING FIX!

Ahem.

What about you? Are there things that you simply cannot go without for long periods of time? (well, besides the obvious *wink, wink nudge, nudge*)

Bonus question: Next Monday will mark my 100th post here. Any requests and/or recommendations for some super fabulous post?

Also: Update on the whole eye situation. . .I don't think the contact was stuck in my eye after all. Once I got home, I had CB look and see if he could find it & there was nothing. And I talked to the eye doctor and they told me that I should at least feel some irritation, which I don't anymore. So I don't know. . .maybe it flew off to parts unknown. Or maybe it's all rolled up in my eye & I'll go blind. Because that would be oh-so-much fun.

Just call me Calamity Jane

I got contacts for the first time this past July. I love having them because I can finally wear the sunglasses that I’ve missed so much since my eyes have been on their downward spiral. But I hate it because I’m squeamish when it comes to the whole “touch your eye” thing. Maybe it’s a complex that comes from years spent being chased around the playground by boys with their eyelids flipped up (guh-ross!).

Anyway, last weekend, CB made a comment that I took great offense to. “I think maybe you’re too clumsy to have contacts.” Bah! He doesn’t know. However, after reflecting upon the events of the past three and a half months (or so), I do believe he may be right.

Case in point:

July-I lost one of my contacts down the drain. It had been bugging me, so I took it out. And dropped it down the drain.

August-Wore one inside out all day long one day. And wondered why my eye was bugging me.

September-I quit wearing them halfway through the month because it just was not working for me.

October-Last Sunday I almost dropped ANOTHER one down the sink. This is what caused CB to make the above stated clumsiness comment. Then about 20 minutes ago I was making up new file folders at work & one of them whipped up and hit me in the eye. Now I can’t tell if it sent my contact careening out of my eye to parts unknown or if it’s lodged underneath my skull. All I do know is that it ain’t where it’s supposed to be. My eye has been watering profusely ever since it happened, so I’m leaning towards the latter option. This has led me to believe that filing is dangerous work and should be halted at once!

OK, so maybe I am a little bit clumsy. So anyone know where I can get a stylish pair of safety glasses?

Dancing Queen. . ./New Guest House

Not so young or sweet, nowhere near 17. . . .

Betchya can’t guess where I went last night. OK, so I went to my dance class. And we started to learn a real dance!

I can’t believe how much fun I’m having. I guess I’ve really been missing out on something that inspires passion in me because I feel better emotionally/mentally/physically than I have in a really long time.

It also helps that it’s a really good workout that makes me not really feel like I’m working out. Pretty soon I’ll have legs of steel! If only those legs could grow about four inches longer. . .

By the way, have you taken a chance to go see my renter yet this week? I’m thinking we need to do something to spruce up the guest room a bit, what about you? *impersonates hammers, nails and other such construction sounds*

Ta-da! I present the new and improved Glamorous Guest House:
Isn't it gorgeous???

While visiting, make sure you take a minute to read in the Glamorous study:
(of course it's the drawing of what it looks like. Because I'm good. But I'm not THAT good.)

Or perhaps join me for a movie in our own comfy home theater:

For the ladies, handsome cabanna boys will be at your beck and call. And for the guys, a sultry cabanna girl (plus I hear there's a wet t-shirt contest down the block every Friday night) ;)

So what do you think,Hot House Momma Is this house hot enough for you? :)

So why don't y'all knock on the little window over -----> there and say hello. And if she's not around, I'll be whipping up some margaritas for us to enjoy here (or whilst oogling the hired help):

The Best Laid Plans. . .

It’s been a little somber around here the past couple of days, hasn’t it? I guess I’m in a mood. Surely the only way to fix it is for you all to send me chocolate. Loads and loads of chocolate. I’m not picky, but I prefer it with caramel in the center.

But seriously, I think I’m done with the deep thoughts. For the time being anyway. So instead, I present some randomness from my day yesterday:

You know how I was all “I have to go buy this movie today because it’s out,” yesterday? Yeah, well that didn’t happen. I ended up instead trying to strip paint off of our bathroom door. Paint that may or may not have come over in wooden pails on the Mayflower. Which, of course, means that it’s probably laden with lead and sure to kill me. But it won’t come off, so it’s probably no big deal. After hours of waiting, I finally got to take the paint scraper to it, only to have my hand cramp up half way through the job. “See, I’m much too glamorous for these sorts of jobs.” I told CB. He just laughed and rolled his eyes at me. But I’m not partaking in the scraping of the paint anymore. He’s going to pull out the big guns and sand the bastard until it looks pretty enough for me to paint.

Also, last night I was kind of excited. CJ had settled on something that he thought would be interesting. He’d decided to try Cub Scouts. And while I wasn’t totally thrilled with the idea of being thrown into the whole “den mother” thing*, I was excited that he had found something other than the evil PS2 that sparked his interest. So we got to the meeting, only to learn that there isn’t enough interest in this town to merit going forward, so the pack is disbanding. WTF? You couldn’t tell me that over the phone? Whatever!

I felt bad for the boy because we were only there for about 15 minutes. So on our way home, we stopped at the football field to watch his friends play flag football. Only to have THAT called early on account of the freaking LIGHTENING. The hell? Lightening in October is just plain odd. And the downpour that followed was even more odd. That’s the kind of stuff that is supposed to happen in July. Not October. I only expect this to mean that I will have warm weather all winter long. *falls over laughing at the sheer absurdity of that sentence*

So evidently I wasn’t supposed do anything that I intended to do. But oh well. It gave me good stuff to blog about.



______________
* I don't do the scouting thing. I tried Girl Scouts once. I was a Brownie long enough to order cookies & pass them out. THen it was all this "Kum Ba Ya" and camping crap and I? was not having it.

Why I need to buy The Little Mermaid

I remember the first time I saw it. I was 10 and my real dad took me to the theater. My parents were divorced and he was on one of his (then) very rare clean and sober sprees. I remember the day so vividly because when King Triton gives his daughter legs so she can live happily ever after with her Twue Wuv, you can see how much he loves her. And how much the love is reciprocated. I remember this because my dad leaned over to me and said “Someday I hope that I can be that for you,” or something to that effect. It broke my heart. I loved my dad. I (even at the tender age of 10) understood that he was sick, and I wanted nothing more than for this little statement to be true. I wanted him to get better and I wanted to have the kind of dad that all my other friends had.

I wanted to be Ariel. In fact, every time I went swimming, my friends and I would always play Little Mermaid. And since I had the longest hair (and almost red), I was her. I would jump as high as I could, flinging my hair back out of my face, just like Ariel does when she becomes human for the first time. And for those short hours I was her. I even sang “Part of Your World” in my 5th grade talent show. (If I can find a picture when I get home, I’ll post it, because it is hilarious!)

The years went on and The Little Mermaid came out on video. I watched it until I wore my first copy of the VHS tape out. One day my friends decided they all wanted to watch LM. I was terrified. Because every other time that I’d watched it, I had been alone. Allowed to sob uncontrollably as the words my dad had spoken to me echoed in my head. Reminding me that I hadn’t heard from him for the past month (again). Wondering if he was in jail, in rehab, or worse. ”I want to be that for you.” I tried to hold it all in. By then, my mom had met my step dad and were engaged. I shouldn’t have wanted something from someone that wasn’t in a position to give it to me. My friends all knew what was going on, but they saw me as happy with the new situation. And I was. I still am. I love Glamorous Dad. He is a great man. But every little girl needs her daddy. So, as hard as I tried not to, the sobs escaped. And I was teased mercilessly. Because no one ever knew why I was really crying. Why the Happily Ever After killed me each and every time I watched it.

I’ve never told anyone why until right now. And my dad has been sober for almost 10 years. We have a strange relationship to say the least. There is kind of an unspoken “I’m sorry,” from him and “It’s OK from me.” Because it was a sickness, and he’s tried to do what he can since then.

Sometimes it makes me sad that my kids don’t know my dad. Because now he is a fabulous man. And I know it’s got to kill him that he doesn’t know his own grandkids. But they are not old enough to understand the ramifications of it all, and I’m not ready to put my kids in that predicament. Because they know GD and he is their Pa-pa. Someday I’ll be able to explain it all to them. And someday maybe we’ll be able to go visit my dad and I’ll be able to introduce him for what he truly is.

But until that day, I’ll just let it be. Instead, I’ll make a special trip to semi-civilization to pick up the collector’s edition of The Little Mermaid. Because you never know when you’re going to need another copy.

Falling into Contentment

As of July 3rd of this year, I had lived in Podunk for 11 years. It’s getting closer to the point that I had dreaded: Soon I will have lived here longer than I did in California. Which means people might possibly expect me to consider this my home state.

For 10 of those 11 years, that was a scary thought. I was one of those annoying people that spent every breath talking about how I was going to get the hell out of here the day after graduation. And even though I did, it was only for a week’s vacation. This wasn’t supposed to be home. More of a launch pad than anything else. I wanted to go to college in Minnesota because a) it was way cheaper than San Diego State and b) supposedly it’s easier to get a job when you have a degree from a Midwest school. Something about the work ethic. I was going to go to college, get my degree and head back West. Then I met Country Boy and he was all “boo! California is for sissies! I can’t do my ‘mighty hunter’ thing out there!” and I replied “sure, pookie-bear, whatever you say. I looooooove you!” with stars in my eyes.

I imagine that there are people who knew me in high school that snicker behind their backs because of this domesticity I’ve fallen into. Heck, I wasn’t even planning on getting married. But I guess all of it means that our plans aren’t always the best plans. Because right now I can’t imagine my life any other way.

As for considering this my home state, I fell into a bit of contentment as the heat of summer melted away into the crispness of fall. My home state never afforded the joy of watching such drastic changes of season. It makes me relish in every heat wave (not without complaining, but when it’s 90 with 100% humidity, I think one is allowed some whining) because I know that there is going to be a day in the middle of January when I long for just ONE day above zero. Just like the days in the summer when I wish for a freeze to get rid of the mosquitoes.

And on Saturday, as I walked through a park with my little man, I realized how much I love fall. I love the way the leaves crunch underneath our feet. I love making them a leaf pile to jump in. And I love the way even the sky changes color.

I started to look forward to the silent winter nights. Nights when it’s just barely above freezing and the air is still. The snow looks like someone has sprinkled glitter on my lawn. And I wrap my coat tighter around myself and take a deep breath. And it feels good.

So maybe this is my home. And maybe—just maybe—I’m finally at a place where I’m OK with that.

This Week's Renter

Have you gone to see my roommate this week? If not, you totally should. Not only does she have a gorgeous template and one of my favorite songs as her blog title, but she's also a really good writer.

So go now. I'll wait. . . .