Glamorous Redneck

Summer Fun #43,892

2009-12-17T13:24:00.002-06:00

Probably the most entertaining story I have from this past summer came father's day weekend. We decided we were going to head about 45 minutes down the road to camp at one of the beautiful Minnesota state parks. So, Thursday night we loaded everything up into the van so we could leave on Friday as soon as CB got home from work. This part all went off without a hitch and we were even on the road about fifteen minutes earlier than we had anticipated. We even arrived to the campsite, got everything set up and had time to go for a little tour before it was time to make dinner. The only thing was that CB had this pain in his mouth. It was really hurting, but when he took advil or tylenol it went away. It was a beautiful day, and turned into a beautiful night where the stars were brighter than I had seen in forever and the mosquitoes were at a minimal level!

Saturday morning turned out just as lovely, but the pain in CB's mouth was beginning to hurt even worse. But, he was a good sport, and we went Geo Caching and swimming in the river. This is where the story turns sour. First, CJ and Diva sliced their knees open on rocks in the river. Not too deep, but enough blood to make me a little queasy. Fortunately, CB is a planner and we had a first aid kit in the car.

However, nothing in the first aid kit could help CB. By Saturday night, he was in so much pain that he was shaking and tears were rolling down his face. This is a man who dislocates his shoulder once a year and utters nary a swear word. Obviously, the pain medications weren't even touching the pain at this point. I finally convinced him that he needed to go to the ER, so at 8 Saturday night, I dropped two very upset children off with my mom and took CB to the ER. Two hours later, we learned that he had an absess. We were sent back to the campsite with a prescription for antibiotics and Vicodin (which he didn't take).

By morning, he was feeling much better. So, on Father's Day, CB got up early to make US all breakfast. Lo and behold, he bent over and his back went out. As if that wasn't enough, it started to RAIN! And not just rain, but downpour. CB decided enough was enough, and we left for home. Needless to say, the ride home was VERY quiet.

CB took Monday morning off so we could get him to the dentist, only to have the dentist not be able to find anything wrong! They took multiple x-rays, poked around, and found NOTHING! Odd. From there, we headed to the chiropractor to get his back put back into place. Finally, fully fixed up, we headed back home--putting an end to what was obviously the most expensive camping trip EVER!

How about you?? Any horrendous camping stories you want to share?

Cleaning out the cobwebs

2009-12-15T21:50:00.002-06:00

and making my way through the layers of dust to see if anyone is still out there?? I've officially finished the last day of classes for this semester, and I'm relieved beyond belief! Finally finished with my generals, it's going to be intellectually stimulating Lit classes and super fun Education classes from here on out.

I found this semester especially trying. One where I was forced to defend my beliefs and convictions on several different occasions. Frustrating, yes, but also exhilirating because I'm old and don't care what grade I get if it comes to readings that go against everything that I believe.

We've made it through another year, this one without any major tragedies. I found it funny because I haven't had time to blog in forever, and this summer seemed to be one full of interesting blog fodder. Facebook updates have been my connection to my interweb friends as of late. I can't seem to get my mind wrapped around twitter, and still don't feel like I have anything entirely interesting to share lately. But I'm going to try. I miss the blogosphere. I miss interacting with all of you.

So, if you've still got me in your reader (another thing that I can't seem to understand), and you don't mind bearing with some mundane musings, I'm back. At least until next semester.

The benefits of having a virtual diary.

2009-01-22T14:00:00.001-06:00

August 24, 2004 Someday I'm gonna go back to school. I know it shouldn't bother me because I've got a really great job that only improves the longer I'm there, but it really just irks me that I don't have a college degree. I loved school! I love learning, and I think that's why I hate not having that degree. But I made the choices I made because that was what was best for my family at the time. And in three years, I'm SO back to school!

I needed to see this today. The past couple of days have been not-so-stellar. Right now, I am killing time in between a major meltdown (thank GOD for girlfriends!) and picking up the kids from school. So, I decided to check out the bloggy place I had before I became Glamorous Redneck. And I started at my very first month of blogging. This is the entry I found. I can’t believe I really am doing this craziness! But, I somehow am. I am exhausted, on the brink of insanity, crazily overwhelmed, but I actually set my mind to something and achieved it. Granted, it wasn’t exactly three years from when I wrote that entry, but it was exactly when I was supposed to start.

So, this is what it’s like to have a goal and see the achievement of that goal not to far away in the distance? I think it’s almost better because I had forgotten that I made this goal for myself. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to be a teacher. And now, I’m doing it.

Like I said, I needed to be reminded of this today.

Where in the world is Glamorous Redneck?

2009-01-19T12:50:00.001-06:00

I can tell you where she's not. She's not on a nice, warm beach, the waves lulling her to sleep. Nope, she's still here in Podunk, finally over a stint of -22 degree weather and spending the day off school trying to get a jumpstart on homework for the week.

Other things that have gone on in Glamorous Redneck's life:

-November: A very dear friend lost her 16 year old daughter to a car accident. We are still trying to process and we are still hurting.

-December: I survived my first semester on campus. I may have even made a friend or two. I also made the Dean's List. Shocking, I know!

-January: Started what I thought was going to be a fairly simple Spring semester. Missed the first day of classes because of snow. Also missed my morning class last Thursday (which was the fourth day of classes) due to the fact that the warmest it got was -13. We have not been outside for more than two minutes in over a week. But, after having the few classes that I did have, I am now absolutely terrified of this semester. I wrote 22 papers the last week of classes last semester. I will not be a bit surprised if that number is doubled this semester. I will also be ringing in the birthday that marks my last year of 20's. Not entirely sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am excited because I think my 30^th birthday (which also happens to be my golden birthday) will be spectacular, but the whole notion of turning 30 scares the crap out of me.

So, that's what's been up with me. I have disappeared into the chaos of the Holidays, grieving, and being a college student. I'm still not entirely sold on stopping blogging all together, but it is getting difficult to carve out the time necessary for me to attempt to be witty and engaging here. Plus, I have to save all my wittiness and engaging-ness for the eleven thousand papers I have to write.

But the main reason I've come out of hiding today is to thank the one and only Big Sky Girl (Her linkie is over -à there. I'm using a program that hasn't quite shown me how to do linkies, so just click over there. Her awesomeness will astound you) for giving me this totally sweet Lemonade award. Especially since the title of her blog post is oh-so-funny. However, I won't nominate anyone else because a) the people that I would nominate have already received the award and b) 99% of the blogs that I've linked to on my side bar are no longer active. Which means I really need to get back out there and find some more totally awesome bloggers. Maybe somewhere around the year 2140.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

2008-10-15T21:52:00.004-05:00

It occurred to me the other day that I am sort of like the middle child here at school. Too young to fit in with the real "Non-traditionals" and too old to fit in with the whipper-snappers that are more concerned with where their next party is than "am I going to be getting myself any financial aid AT ALL next year?" It's an odd feeling, this middle child thing. I'm the oldest. Everything goes my way. I get the hard stuff so that by the time the wee little babies come around, it's a cake walk. So I kind of feel like I'm floating around in-limbo most days. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly not a bad thing. Just kind of. . .odd.

On the plus side, though, I've yet to fall again! And I do believe I've made some. . .erm. . .let's call them acquaintences. I really do have some super nice people in my education classes. The other classes seem to be full of people with the mindset that they are but robots, simply moving through the system. They don't speak to anyone unless directly spoken to. Or if they do speak, it's hushed little giggly whispers to the girl sitting next to them they've known since kindergarten. It makes it a little difficult to try and have discussions on things like Pride and Prejudice (Hello! Most awesomest book. EVER!) and The Remains of the Day (eh, not so much. He talks in proper British circles so that I have to re-read paragraphs many times. However, today in class it was a little better, so there may be hope. Now that we're like HALFWAY into the semster.

Now, I must be off. I have a short story that I need to get written. Creative Writing has been an awesome class for me! I haven't done any writing of any kind other than analytical essays in a very long time. So it's fun to get my little fantasy world back!

Embarassing Moments

2008-10-09T10:50:00.003-05:00

It occurred to me that in my rash of tiredness, I forgot to tell you about my stellar first day as a student here at the college. I had put much thought into my back-to-school clothes shopping, and had obtained several outfits that say "I'm older than you, but not so old that my pants get pulled up to my chest." but also said "Because I am older than you, I will not try and dress like you, but I will look cute, dammit!" and so I was ready to go!

On the first day of school, I got up right when my alarm went off (at 6:15! An hour that was non-existant to me prior to this), did everything that I needed to do and was running perfectly on time. I got to my first class a couple minutes late, but that was due to the fact that I had not calculated the time it takes to get from my car into the building in my travel time. But I was feeling pretty confident.

After my first class was over, I had (and still have) about two hours to kill between classes, so I headed down to the "commuter's lounge" to eat my lunch. I wasn't even uncomfortable with the fact that I would be dining alone and actually welcomed the chance to get a head start on my reading. But, I made the stupid mistake of trying to text and walk at the same time. As I went down the little flight of TWO WHOLE STEPS, I misjudged my footing and ended up tripping down the last one. I landed flat on my face and hit my head on a table and chairs on the way down. Yes. I am AWESOME! I shook it off, and fortunately for me and my fragile ego, there was only three or four people that saw it. I pretended like it didn't hurt and made the comment "that's what I get for trying to do two things at once" and then sat down. I ended up with a minor bump on the side of my head that hit the chair, and a busted fingernail.

Stellar start to my first day, right?

Like I said, I am OH-SO-AWESOME!

Another run-down

2008-10-01T07:26:00.003-05:00

I am tired. Tired of the political ads that are every other commercial every time I want to watch TV. Tired of Feeling sorry for poor Sarah Palin because the poor girl doesn't have a chance against all these big-time (and at some times extremely hostile) media peoples. Tired of getting up at 6:00 every morning. Tired of seemingly everyone I know (yes, I'm including YOU in here too, Missy! :) ) going to San Diego and it looks like my planned trip is disappearing by the moment (THANK YOU, crappy economy. Thank you so much for saving me from getting away from the frozen tundra in January. Lord knows I would have been miserable parked on the beach whilst everyone here was in their winter coats. You have truly saved my life.)

But! I am getting really good grades in school. I'm not quite sure how to react to it all. I haven't seen a report card with only A's and B's since I was in 7th grade (this was before I hated running and anything else that involved sweating and so I would get A's in P.E.). If this keeps up, I just might make the Dean's list. And then, I will be treating myself to something big. Not sure what it is yet, but it's gonna be big.

So, anyway, the real reason I'm posting is because there is a cool website that is giving away FREE purses for 24 hours in a couple of weeks. I looked, they are gorgeous. And I have not bought myself a new purse in a very, very, long time. Unlike some other people *cough* BSG *cough*. Even though I would really like to win, I also think it would be fun to at least KNOW someone who won. So go to here and enter. Even if you happen to be a boy reading this (really, does anyone even bother here anymore? It's not like I'm posting with any sort of regularity), what better way to surprise your significant other than a handbag that looks like you spent beaucoup bucks on it. I'm not sure about YOUR ladyfriends, but I know in MY house, my significant other would be rewarded handsomely for getting me a purse. So, go enter. Right now. I'll maybe blog again in another month. Or twelve. Whatever.

I am tired.

The School Thing

2008-08-19T07:30:00.003-05:00

So, BSG asked in the comments yesterday:

How much more school do you have left? Are you doing online?

Which means I actually have something to blog about today! As I'm looking at it now, if I work my butt off for the next two years, I should be able to get the actual school part done in that amount of time. Then I'd just have my student teaching to get out of the way. So, if I can do it I should be done in about two and a half to three years. But, it all depends on if I can handle going to school full time, working part time, and still taking care of my family without turning into Uber Bitch from Hades. It shouldn't be too terrible, because there's only one night a week where I'm not home right around the same time the kids are home, and that's only for one semester.

Once I get all the stupid generals I have to retake (8:00 classes should be illegal for College Freshmen because I don't know too many people who actually made it to that class. Which is why I'm redoing it now), the rest of the classes are going to be a cakewalk. I was going to go for Elementary Education, but after looking at the class list required for that and looking at the class list required for Secondary English Education, I realized that was where I needed to be. One of the classes I'm taking this semester is simply called Novel. There are eight seemingly awesome books that I have to read for that class, one of which is Pride and Prejudice. Books I've wanted to read, but have never really taken the time to do so. Further down the line are even more awesome classes like Shakespeare, Short Story, American Lit and countless other good ones.

I finally got into the syllabus for one of this semester's classes yesterday, and it made me a little nervous for what's to come. One of the assignments is a group presentation. What if I'm that girl sitting in the corner that no one wants in their group because they've all been together for the past two years and are all friends and WHO in their RIGHT MIND would want some old mom in their group? It totally feeds on old insecurities. What if nobody likes me? What if I suck at it all? What if, what if, what if?? It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help but be a little afraid of what people will think of me. I've always had this inherent necessity for everyone to like me. And while it's gotten better, the feeling is still there, in the back of my mind, just waiting for an opportunity like this to rear its ugly head.

Do any of you ever feel like this? And if you do, how do you counter act it? I've been trying to remind myself that I'm not going to school to make friends, but it doesn't seem to quell the fear that I'll be THAT GIRL.

A Summary of Summer

2008-08-18T14:01:00.003-05:00

Mostly I'm just tired of seeing the snow from a couple of posts down. Seems like eons ago that it was THAT cold. We've been running like crazy people. It's been fabulous. A few points:

Community Ed Baseball - Diva and CJ both had crappy baseball years. Their teams one one game each. CJ does a good job, it just wasn't their year. Diva's team, however, was. . .well. . .it was very obvious that they were very young. Diva had more fun being a cheerleader--weather she was on the field or off the field--than she did actually playing. They were very glad when it was over.

Family Vacation - I had high aspirations for the Stimulus check. We were going to get back home to San Diego. Then the crappy oil cartel had to go all insane and the hop in gas prices kept us close to home. But we still made it to Duluth, which is waaaay up at the top of this state and we are waaay down at the bottom of it. But it was gorgeous and I want to live there now. Don't know how I'd feel about the frigity of the winter (the city is on Lake Superior, so it gets way more snow than we do, courtesy of something called "lake effect snow"). We had tons of fun, and are most likely going to make going up north an annual trip.

School - We're done with our back to school supply shopping. For all three of us. Diva has the same teacher that CJ had in second grade, and CJ has his first male teacher. They are both very excited for school to start. As am I. For them. These children need to be in school because I am seriously on the brink of insanity here. I start school a week from today. Not entirely sure how I feel about that. Maybe if I decide to start blogging more than quarterly, I'll have more thoughts on it.

The Olympics - Are addicting this year. Courtney talked about how great the events have been. I wanted to give poor Alicia Sacramone a big hug after the balance beam incident of the team finals. And that Shawn Johnson is just too cute for words. When you hear her talk, she's just so gracious and sweet. It's nice to see that there are still people in the public eye that it's worth kids to look up to. And that Michael Phelps? Holy hannah! That guy is insane! And also sweet. I just got done reading an article on the NBC Olympics page about a friendship he forged with a kid that eventually succumbed to cancer. That takes a special person. On top of all the medals, to hear that he's like that just makes him even cooler.

Now, on to the important factor of the games. The US may not be winning the most gold medals, but am I the only one noticing that we have the BEST LOOKING athletes at the games? Hooo, damn! That Ryan Lochte is enough to send my little heart into palpitations. And the boys in their tight swimwear? Insanity, I tell you!

So, that's all I've got. Off to watch all the Olympics that I've DVR'd over the past couple of days. Because while these have been the best games we've seen in as long as I can remember, I am the only one in my house with any sort of interest in the games. So, I have to watch them at very strange times.

Blushing

2008-05-20T13:44:00.004-05:00

It was a beautiful day, much like it is now, only it was eight years ago. The sun was bright in a crystal clear sky. I stood on the front steps of the "big church" in our town, smiling until my face felt like it was going to fall right off of my head.

A little while later, I had a slight panic attack. CB's mom was driving me crazy with questions about making sure I'd done everything that needed to be done. So my mom locked the door. With just her, my very best friend, and myself locked in the family room, it all hit me. I was getting married. I had a child. Life was most certainly NOT going to be what I had dreamed it would.

I recovered, and stood at the back of the church with Glamorous Dad. He whispered that it wasn't too late. He'd give me two tanks of gas to hit the road and never look back. I laughed. Then the doors opened. I stood at the back of my church, holding on to my dad. All my very best friends stood in front, and many of my other friends sat in the pews. It was perfect. Not exactly as I'd dreamed it would be, but close. Was I making the right decision here? Was I sure he was Mr. Right? And then I saw him. Standing there waiting for me. And I realized right then and there that I was THE luckiest girl in the whole world.

Eight years later, as I reflect on everything that day was and everything that we've been through, I realize that it's still true. I have the most perfect man for me. Sure, the relationship hasn't always been perfect, but I was never under the delusion that it would be. But WE are perfect. He's the other half of my soul. We balance each other out. Where he's anal and perfectionist, I'm easygoing and just go with the flow. Where I'm impulsive, he's thoughtful. It works, and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

So, happy anniversary to my Country Boy. I love you more than words could ever begin to express.

Done & Back

2008-05-19T13:42:00.000-05:00

So, I finished my first semester of being a college student in almost a decade. I ended up with two a's and a b. Not to shabby if I do say so myself.

Days are now spent on catching up on work that will be or has been missed (I'm venturing on field trips with the young'uns this week and was horrifically sick last week), recovering from said sickness, figuring out what I can do with the kids for the summer, and helping get our 10 year High School reunion in order.

Doing this gave me a little glimpse into a relationship my friend had with a boy. He recalled fondly warm nights doing things that I don't really need to know (he didn't mention them anyway). And I wondered if The Ex from high school ever thinks about me that way. If he were the poetic type, would he recall that night when we sat together for hours and talked about everything and nothing? Would he right all the rumors and tell me that he never said the things they told me he said? Maybe he would recall the weekend of his brother's wedding when he was everything to me. Or maybe it was all so ridiculously one-sided that I've lived in a fantasy for the past thirteen years. What then? Maybe it's better to hold on to the fantasy than to wonder what it would have been like to know it was real.

Ugh. Heavy for a first blog in almost two months. But that's where I am today. Letting go of holding on to a past that I've held with a death grip for oh so many years. Realizing that he never really was what I wanted him to be. And that all the things I wanted in him have been standing next to me in someone else for all these years. Not that it's gone unappreciated or unnoticed. But it's a realization today. He was never good enough for me because CB was just around the corner. Real and wonderful and everything I always wanted. We've been dating for ten years. And tomorrow we will have been married for eight of those ten. It hasn't been all that pretty or easy, but it's my own little fairy tale. Because even though we collapse in bed, utterly exhausted and sometimes having barely spoken, with the kids making us want to pull our hair out, I know I've gotten my Happily Ever After. And that's a real fairy tale.

DO NOT WANT!

2008-03-31T07:48:00.003-06:00

Can someone get a hold of Mother Nature? Because I'm pretty sure she missed the memo on this whole global warming thing.

Alternately titled: The Twins baseball season opens today. Someone please explain to me WHY they think they need an outdoor stadium?????

Hades, Thy Name is Snow

2008-03-21T12:38:00.005-06:00

It's supposed to be Spring, right? I mean yesterday my calendar said that it was the vernal Equinox. So why, then am I getting bombarded with inch upon stinking white inch of snow today? It started at about 6 last night and it is still snowing now. CB says that we're supposed to get at least seven inches of the crap. So, the kids and I decided to make the best of it. Only two little children forgot their snowpants at school. Which meant *I* got to have fun in the snow all by myself. And I built a snow man. I call him Word to Your Mutha:Note the tres chic baseball hat cocked to the side cuz it's hot like that. He has since been annihilated by a certain little boy who was repaid with an impromptu water war in the house.

Now I'm just hoping that the plows get out and do their jobs so CB and I can head to civilization and meet a certain Superstar for lunch tomorrow. We're staying in a super nice hotel and I will not have any children with me for two whole days! Well, a day and a half, but still WOOO HOOO! There are margaritas and glasses of wine with my name on them. If we can ever get out of Podunk.

Contemplations on the whole college thing.

2008-03-14T08:03:00.003-06:00

Could it be? Two posts in one week? Will the Glamorous One be back to stay? Will I ever stop asking bizarre rhetorical questions? Only time shall tell. . .

Now that I've got almost a whole semester of college behind me, I feel like I can be contemplative on the whole process. I was thinking last night about all the hassle that friends of mine went through back when we were 21 and 22, them trying to decided where they wanted to start sending their resumes, me a mother of two working full-time at a job that I am still not entirely sold on. Both of the friends I was thinking of went into teaching. Both of them are STILL in school. They took a couple of years off to secure jobs, but are now in grad school, one trying to do it with her husband in grad school as well and a baby due any day now. The other doing it at a more convenient time, having come out of a marriage to an uber-ass that essentially cheated on her after a little under a month (yes MONTH) of marital bliss. So, I get what they are doing, and they get what I am doing.

The thing that scares me the most is that the things I thought daunting the first time I was in college (what if I don't get accepted to the Education program? How do I write a two page essay about why I want to do what I want to do? Am I organized enough to structure an entire day for kids that aren't mine? Am I PATIENT enough to deal with a room full of 20(+?) kids that are not mine?), are even more so now. Because I, like, care and stuff. I care that if I don't succeed at this, I'm wasting precious money that could have instead gone for my KIDS' college experience. I worry that I'm being selfish because there is going to come a time where this takes time away from my kids. I worry that they will resent the fact that I went back to school. Add these on top of the previous worries, and if I don't center myself, I'll drive myself crazy. So when I get those feelings of incompetency, I remind myself that I am doing really well right now. And that I know I am supposed to be a teacher. I know that I can connect with kids on a level that not a lot of people can (I contribute that mostly to the fact that I am horrendously immature and refuse to change). I KNOW that I can make a difference. I just don't always know that I can do what it takes to get to that point.

Another thing that I find interesting is how quickly I fell back into old habits. It didn't take me very long to remember how to ramble along in a paper to finally make it make some sense. Nor did it take me long to remember how to pick out the important pieces of a book without having to read every single page of it. Am I cheating myself? Maybe. But I'm also trying to break myself of it, which is why I'm glad that the classes I'm taking right now are Freshman/Sophomore level classes. They aren't as in-depth as the classes that are coming will probably be.

I'm looking at applying for the Education program at least by Spring semester, and if not then, for sure by Fall of 2009. That means I really only have 3 years to do this. To force myself to grow up in some ways, but still hold on to that "thing" that helps kids who have not the best parents come to me and be so excited to tell me that they lost a tooth (he's a little boy in Diva's class. Problem child extrordinnaire, but him and I clicked the last time they went on a field trip). And sometimes THAT's what scares me the most.

Hey, remember me?

2008-03-11T09:51:00.003-06:00

Remember how I used to, like, blog and stuff? And I used to see y'all out here on the interwebs and it was oh so much fun? Yeah, I do too. But life has interfered with my slacking capabilities as of late, so there has been no time for me to blog. However, I'm feeling somewhat witty today, so I figured I would give a rundown of life to date.

CB's job situation - CB got a new job with the people right here in Podunk. He loves it and they love him. He took a huge paycut, but has been on overtime since he started, and he's not driving 70 miles per day, which means we're actually farther ahead than we would have been had he not lost his job.

My School - Rocks! I've got two A's and a B right now. This is the type of mid-term report that I have not seen since--oh maybe--11th grade. The classes are pretty cool and I'm hoping and praying that I can just be a full time student come Fall.

Weight Loss Challenge - Going pretty OK. Our team is sitting steady at 11th place out of 43 teams, so I'm pretty excited about that. I've only lost 13 pounds, but have gone down two sizes in clothes, so that is awesome. I've had lots of fun buying a few new things--none of them over $20 because I LOVE winter clearance time!!!

Ummm. . .what else? That's pretty much it, I guess. Running the kids from place to place takes up a lot of my time too. CJ is doing basketball (I refrained from bursting into song when he said he wanted to do this.) and loving it (I just may get sports out of this child yet!!!). Diva is doing dance (as am I) and they are both in Scouts. Wanna buy some girl scout cookies???

So, we're pretty much busy every night of the week. Which is good because it's all fun stuff, but there are some days when something gets canceled, and I just want to cry happy tears of joy because I can put on my fabulously comfy sweat pants and stay in my nice warm house. It's been so cold here lately that it is impossible to even go from the house to the car. But yesterday it was gloriously sunny and actually above freezing! Today it's even warmer! Thank the Good Lord that spring is FINALLY on its way!

2008 Has to be Better, Right???

2008-01-02T10:53:00.000-06:00

Fun Ways to spend the last days of 2007:

Win $100,000 on a scratch-off ticket

Travel to NYC and be there when the ball drops

Travel to Las Vegas and watch the crazy man clear a 322 foot cycle jump

Be in Minneapolis and spend New Year’s Eve toasting your very best friends

Not Fun Ways to spend the last days of 2007 (aka how I spent them):

Have husband be informed that he will no longer have a job sometime within the next 4-6 weeks

Have one vehicle’s transmission slowly dying, the other one refusing to start, and the other one leaking oil of some sort (2 of the three are now fixed, but still)

Wait ever so patiently for the rest of 2007 to be over so you can just get OUT of this madness for the love of all that is Good and Holy.

So, the car and van have been fixed. The truck’s transmission has been crapping out slowly over the last three years (the fact that it’s 14 years old and has 230,000 miles on it *might* be a contributing factor, but you know), so we’re just hoping it doesn’t crap out any time soon. And I have been constantly alternating between the mantras “Please, God, only one thing at a time” and “I am trusting. Everything’s going to be just fine”.

CB has a meeting today with a company right here in Podunk, so we’re feeling cautiously optimistic. It would be nice for him to work in town after spending the better part of the last eight years driving at least 30 miles round trip. The last two has been 70 miles round trip.

I’m also doing the weight loss thing for real this time. I’m on a team with three other people (We’re the Rockettes! So fun!), and there’s a community-wide weight loss contest. What’s the prize? $1,000! Which means $250 per person to buy new clothes after all the weight comes off. Sounds awesome, right? And if the money won’t motivate me to do it for real, I am not sure what will!

So, I’m being Miss Always-Look-At-The-Glass-Half-Full and saying that 2008 is going to be a year of awesome change. New job for CB, school for me, healthier eating habits for all of us, and who knows what else is in store?

What are you most looking forward to in ’08?

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

2007-12-21T11:51:00.000-06:00

My dad's far away. He lives in San Diego. I haven't seen him since my wedding almost 8 years ago. But sometimes he calls me on my birthday. One year I told him how much I missed the sunsets back home. He told me he was going to send me one for my birthday. He did and it was fabulous. Today I received another one for Christmas. My Daddy sent me this:
It's the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. And it came just when I was feeling weepy and nostalgic, so the tears are still burning behind my eyes.

Merry Christmas everyone.

God Bless,

The Glamorous Redneck

The Day from Hades

2007-12-04T09:47:00.000-06:00

Mondays and I have never gotten along well. I'm sure that I've said that here before. But yesterday has to be tops as the worst Monday in the history of forever!

It was all fine until I was finished with work and on my way home. I had a craving for beer cheese soup, so I figured I would just run in and out of the liquor store in town and grab (hopefully) a can of beer. Of course, they don't just sell cans of beer, so I had to buy a six pack. I was freaking out about the whole transaction because I just am not a drinker. Certainly not where I'd buy alcohol at the store in town. I'm not even really sure why I get so panicked about the thought of going in there, but I'd much rather have a margarita or a cosmo in semi-civ than anywhere in this town.

So, anyways, I make my brown-bagged purchase and go out to my van. A van which I had left running because it's freaking cold here and CB always tells me that it's bad on the engine to turn it off and on quick-like on cold weather days. What he failed to tell me, though, is that static electricity can make automatic door locks lock when you don't necessarily want them to (You can see where this is going, right?). I got to the door and tried to open it, only to find that it had magically (magic I now know as STATIC ELECTRICITY) locked itself. With my keys and cell phone inside.

I went back into the store and asked the oddly overfriendly clerk if I could use her phone to call a friend. I did and when my friend picked up the phone I explained the situation and asked her if she could please come and pick me up. "Where are you?" she asked. "Ummm. . . the liquor store." I replied.

This was met by much giggling on both of our parts, but she picked me up, I got home and made my beer cheese soup and it was FABULOUS! The kids didn't like it, but they don't like anything that isn't pre-processed or covered in spaghetti sauce.

Then, Diva told me that a birthday party she was supposed to go to last Friday--which was canceled because her friend got sick--was rescheduled for last night. So I tried to call the parents and got no answer. Then I called the pizza place and asked if there was a birthday party going on there. They said yes, so I assumed Diva was right and took her down to the pizza place. There WAS a party going on, but it was not the one that we were supposed to be going to.

By the time yesterday was over, I was just thankful that I had survived. So far today has been uneventful, so I'm attributing all the chaos that was yesterday to the fact that Mondays are the worst. day. ever.

I Can Haz iCoaster?

2007-11-28T12:37:00.000-06:00

When I was little, there was always a very, very, VERY long Christmas list of all the things I wanted Santa to bring me. But there was one year that there was just one thing on my list. The one thing I wanted more than anything in the whole wide world. What was it, you ask? A Cabbage Patch Kid.

Now, most of you are old enough to remember that right around the time when CPKs first came out, there was a HUGE craze for them. You couldn't find them anywhere. This happened to be the year that both my Aunt (she's only 4 years older) and I wanted one. So my mom and grandma both went traipsing about SoCal at the butt crack of dawn every Saturday morning from November on until they found a store with CPKs in stock. My Aunt and I both got what we wanted for Christmas.

Fast forward a few years to the Tickle Me Elmo insanity. That year was the first year that I went Black Friday shopping. There were grown women fighting in the toy isle over who got the last Tickle Me Elmo. There were women pushing and shoving to get in to the store. I seriously heard someone yell "I know where you live!" when someone cut in front of them. It was also the last year that I went shopping in that particular city on Black Friday.

I laughed at the insanity of it all "Ha ha!" thought I, "I am so glad that I am not having to do that. Besides, I would never go through THAT much trouble for my kid."

Guess what? I lied.

Fast forward yet again to this Holiday season. CJ has ONE thing and ONE thing only on his list. "Mommy, I know it's really, really, really expensive and I probably can't get it, but all I want for Christmas is an iCoaster." I agreed with him that it was expensive, but I secretly knew that we would get it for him. I'd seen them everywhere, and so I figured I would just wait until I got my Christmas bonus from work, then go buy the thing. Plus, I started looking on eBay to see if I could find the thing cheaper.

Now that it's time to actually START Christmas shopping, I could not find the damn toy anywhere! And on eBay, it's going for $150! I talked to a friend who's son told him the same thing and he informed me that a certain store DID have them in stock. So I called yesterday. Needless to say, they were all sold out. But I was determined! So I spent most of the day yesterday calling every store within a 150 mile radius. Every single one either had incompetent people in the toy department who didn't know what an iCoaster was, or they were out of stock. Finally at noon when I'd all but given up, I made one last call. Lo and behold, they had ONE left in stock. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of an iCoaster.

Now, there was no violence involved, but I never thought I would have to call ELEVEN different stores to find ONE stupid toy that will just take up more room in my already too small house and probably only be cool for about a week before CJ's done with it. But he will have the ONLIEST thing he wants for Christmas for the love of all things Good and Holy.

So, looking to earn some extra moolah? Find iCoasters and sell them on eBay. One even went for $180. At $60-$80 to buy, it's a pretty good turn around, don't you think?

Random things I want to yell at random people*

2007-11-20T13:18:00.000-06:00

Just because it’s the way YOU would do things, doesn’t always make it the RIGHT way to do things.

Your last name means nothing outside of this city. Grow up and realize it.

If I have to hear about your stupid ego and all your denial one more time, I just may go postal.

You are an asshole. Anyone who cheats on their wife should be strung up by their balls and left for dead.

Why is it so difficult to be NICE to everyone?

Why do you treat people you barely know better than you treat your own flesh and blood?

Clean your rooms! Yesterday!

Get a job and get your life in order.

Stop calling me for advice.

Stop being so immature. Grow some gumption and move on with your life.

I promise I’m not having a meltdown. Just a little sampling of the drama that has been in my life as of late. And not really all of it belongs to me. I just hear things (which happens on occasion in a small town), and I’m sick of stupid crap. But do you think I can say anything about it to the people that are being stupid? That’s a big negatory.

So, aren’t you glad you stopped here today? You get to deal with Crazy Carrie and all her Drama.

I’ll be better after Thanksgiving, I promise.

*names have not been used in order to protect what little sanity I have left.

It's a smell. A smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells. . . .smelly.

2007-11-16T09:46:00.001-06:00

For those of you that have already had babies, do you remember those pregnancy cravings (for those of you that haven’t had babies. . .just wait!)? How you’re all “I must have this one thing RIGHT NOW and if I don’t I will just continue to puke until you (DH) feel sorry enough for me to just go and get me some damn CHEESECAKE!!!”? Well, I have been blessed in the fact that those cravings never went away for me (no puking, however, so that’s a bonus) except they are a lot less often. But when they hit, I am OBSESSED with whatever I’m craving until I eat it and the craving is gone.

The last couple of weeks that craving has been for Chicken Fried Steak. I know, right? So not healthy, or really all that hard to make for that matter. But every time I was at the grocery store, I would forget. Until I got home and I was all “CRAP! The CHICKEN FRIED STEAK!” Wednesday, however, I finally remembered at the store, and while I was already planning dinner for that night, Thursday was just around the corner. Thursday, glorious Thursday!

I obsessed all day and as soon as it was time to start making dinner, I did a little happy dance out to the kitchen. I made my mashed potatoes, country style gravy, and buttered corn. Then I popped the CFS into the oven and set the timer. Everything was going according to plan. . .

When the timer buzzed, I made my way back out there and popped open the oven door. An odd colored smoke (blue-ish gray-ish brown-ish) came billowing out. Now, while I’m no Rachel Ray and have been known to burn a thing or two in my time, it really is near impossible to burn CFS patties. I looked at them and they didn’t look burnt. So I pulled them out and THAT’S when I noticed it. The little blue and red pool of melted plastic on the bottom of the oven. That’s when I established what the funky, yet familiar, smell was that had been permeating the kitchen since I opened the oven door.

Turns out CJ had left his prized eraser (he’d just gotten it for taking a reading test & getting a good grade on it) on my table. When I put the pan on the table before putting it in the oven, the eraser must have stuck to the bottom of the pan and fallen off when it started heating up.

Imagine if you will, the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie’s dad has been looking forward to the Turkey all Christmas morning, only to have it be devoured by Bumpass’ dogs. While there were no dogs present in my story, THAT’S the devastation that I felt.

And we ended up having Chinese afterwards. Which is good, but still not CFS.

CJ felt horribly bad, so I shared the story about the time I made my mom go on an Easter egg hunt and I hid an egg in the oven. She didn’t find it and I forgot about it. Until she started preheating the oven. Needless to say, we had a good laugh about it and I made my chiropractor laugh so hard she couldn’t even adjust me. So, it all turned out all right in the end, I guess. And after a mid-day full of people dumping bad news on me, I really needed to laugh.

How about you? Any good plastic-in-the-oven tales to share?

The One Without a Title

2007-11-15T10:57:00.000-06:00

So CB and I have been on a "Friends" kick lately. It started this summer when we came across it on one of the cable channels from 10:00 - 11:00 at night. This has not boded well for us. Because we are old and we were usually asleep by 10:15, 10:30 at the latest. Now we are up until 11:00 or later because I had forgotten just how damn funny that show is. And CB had never really watched it.

But then! Technology FINALLY made it's way out here! We have a DVR cable box! I can record "Friends" every time it is on! And watch it when I am awake and the children are not!

I am totally understanding why people call their TiVo their boyfriend/girlfriend. I can ask it to do whatever I want it to! And it will do it! The FIRST time! With NO ARGUMENT! It's the best relationship a girl could ask for!

In other news, I met with an advisor yesterday to find out exactly how bad off I was. Turns out I do not have to retake speech, which made me very happy. Because while I am much more opinionated now than I was when I took it the first time around, the thought of having to take it as a lecture with 100 other people (I took it as a college class when I was a Senior in HS, along with 10 of my very best friends and 10 other people that I at least knew) was a little daunting.

I do, however, have to take Psychology again. This sucks. For some reason, all that crap just shoots right over the top of my head. The first time I took it as an independent study class (again in HS) and was in tears by the end of the second chapter of the book because it just didn't make sense. The second time I took it, I ended up getting knocked up and so I felt like crap and wasn't able to concentrate. But, third time's a charm, right? Hopefully that's the case with Biology as well since I've taken that one twice too. Gah. Now I remember why I quit the first time.

Your Pressing Questions Answered

2007-11-12T11:59:00.000-06:00

What's this? Viewer MAIL???? Well, I shall do my best to answer the questions that you asked me:

Courtney asked:

So what DO you want to be when you grow up?

Well, I intend on getting a degree in Elementary Education (see, I bet you all think I'm even crazier now, don't you?) with the intention of teaching upper elementary. But I'm learning that I have to take more crappy generals, so I'm feeling a little deflated. Although, I basically am starting as a Junior, so if I could go full time, I'd be done in 2-2 1/2 years. Now I'm looking at a five year plan since I can only go half time. Unless one of you is independently wealthy and wants to hand me about $50 thousand to get me through the next five years. Any takers?

Jen asked:

I need to know: Have you always taken dance, or is this something that you just recently decided to do? Because I used to want to be a Fly Girl, and secretly I actually still DO want to be a Fly Girl, except that In Living Color isn't on anymore, and I don't have any professional training. BUT! I want to dance the Lyrical dance. I do! I DO! So spill it!

This is only my second year of taking dance. I took ballet for about a year when I was 5, but Muppet Babies was on at the same time as class, so I had to drop it. A girl's gotta have her priorities, don'tchyaknow. It's so fun and so challenging, so I wouldn't trade any of it for anything in the whole wide world. And if I can do it, anyone can do it. So, my dear, get thee to a dance studio in your town and find out if they offer adult classes. If they don't, then be like me and throw a temper tantrum until you get your way. They'll come around eventually.

Also, I totally wanted to be a Fly Girl too! This is just another reason why you are such a cool kid. :)

Finally, Baseball Mom asked:

Glad you had fun in our neck of the NW...sounds like you saw all the cool stuff! Have to know what you thought of Mt. St. Helens...it's still cool, but was REALLY cool right after the eruption.

I'm very sad to say that I lost out on the whole Mt. St. Helen's thing. Turns out CB and I were the only ones that were really interested in going there. GQ (The BIL) suggested the beach or Mt. Regnier instead. And I was all about going to the beach, so that's where we ended up going on that day. But I'm totally going back and THEN I will get to Mt. St. Helen's.

Now, if I would have been smart, I would have saved each one of these questions for their own individual post. But now that I'm done writing, I'm so not going to go a cuttin' and pastin'. So there you have it. Maybe I'll elaborate on these more throughout the week. Plus, I have to share my new music obsession--I'm learning to play the congas. It's slow, but not nearly as slow as it was to try guitar. In fact, I may be playing them at church on Sunday. We'll have to see how bad I suck it up at practice.

So ta ta for now. I'm at work and they just had a diesel bus in the shop. Which means that my office is wreaking of diesel fumes and I have a headache.

But ask more questions! I'm all about the viewer mail! ;)

Carrie = Slacker (Now with 20% more pictures)

2007-11-09T09:41:00.000-06:00

So. I suck. See my pathetic attempt at trying to post again will come in the form of various rundowns with my trademarked side tangents that will most likely turn your brain into an oozing wad of mush. But stay with me anyway! Because the mush, it’s GOOD!

The past month in a rundown:

Seattle = AWESOME! I totally want to move there and become jaded and sick of the rain and shop at Pike’s Market every damn day of my life. But the sad thing? I’m the only coffee drinker in our little troupe, so I did not get to a Starbucks whilst in the Holy Land. I did, however, make the most awesomest of sand castles that now looks a little like Diva and I created a Boobie Project. But it was October, which is Boobie Awareness month, so I figure we’re totally cool with it. Case in point:

CJ and I also built a sand ~~castle~~VOLCANO which now looks a little disturbing to me. Especially with the lighter colored ~~sand~~LAVA oozing out the top.

Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe = One of the coolest/freakiest places I’ve ever been. Am still shuddering at the thought of being able to purchase a shrunken head for the bargain basement price of $12.99. And! They forever eeked their way into my heart because they sold Mexican Jumping Beans! Those are only the coolest bug infested beans in the whole wide world!

OK, I promise there will be a whole big post on Seattle somewhere down the line, so I’m going to stop talking about it and all its loveliness.

Dance Class = TOO HARD! Seriously. I took great pride in how effortlessly I caught on to tap, considering the only dancing I’ve ever done has been ridiculous and fake. And the tap is still pretty easy to me. But LYRICAL? Lyrical is hard stuff, people. You have to be all “graceful” and “precise” and I’m all “not graceful” and “a little clumsy”. So, you can imagine my conundrum. But I’m getting it. It’s just not as natural as my cocky-self thought it was going to be.

Halloween = Fun! I had a Zorro and a 50’s girl to take trick-or-treating. They are officially the coolest kids. Ever. We got so many compliments over the fact that they were not one of eighty-five Spidermans or whore-y American Idol wanna-bes. Yeah. My kids rock. SO there. Didn’t need strangers to tell me that!

Glamorous Redneck = Marginally insane! Why, you ask? Because I’m officially re-enrolled as a college student. Yes, at the tender age of 27, I’ve finally decided what I want to be when I grow up. And I got my transcripts from College 1.0 and am sick at how much of a slacker I was. I got good grades in the classes I liked, and like actually WENT to, but the rest of them. . . .blech.

I’ve done various other things throughout the month, but there you have the highlights. And maybe it’s better for me to post this way. Once a month rundown of the things that are actually interesting instead of stupid day to day nothingness.

I can't quit you

2007-10-07T22:09:00.000-05:00

I was totally going to be done. Again. I was just going to keep on reading all of your blogs and let mine sort of fall by the wayside. But then I remembered how nice it is to have this little on-line memento of how my days progress and all the crazy things that go on around here. My mind is a lovely little pool of jell-o lately, but here's a few random thoughts to get you through until I get back from Seattle.

-I hate the terrorists. Hate hate hate. I hate that I can only have one little zip-loc bag full of liquid-y things. Granted this is only a three day trip, but I have a lot of liquid-y things (did you know that MASCARA is considered a liquid? The heck?)

-I have crammed all of my things into one carry on bag. It's still not full yet, which causes me unending joy because I can bring a second pair of shoes! (It's the little things, people. Trust me).

-I am taking dance again. We're learning TWO dances this year, so I'm super excited.

-Ballet is much harder than Tap. Seriously because your feet move fast enough in tap that you can kind of flub your way through it and it's not the end of the world if you miss a little thing here and there.

-We leave for Seattle in two days. I am already officially done with family drama and want to just get there already.

-I am going to Mt. St. Helen's. This pleases me more than you know.

-We have been so verra busy that it's hard to find time to do anything, let alone blog.

-Jeff Dunham is freaking hilarious!

-The Asian beetles (think ladybugs only slightly less pretty and a whole lot a stinky when killed) and The Boxelder bugs are driving me to the brink of insanity. Nothing is more annoying than hearing that little "tick tick" as the little bastards hit themselves against the light bulb. Repeatedly.

So, that's it. I promise that I will be filling my camera with pretty pictures & will be sure to post them when I get back. And maybe by that point, things will have slowed down around here and I'll get back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Until then. . .

Redemption

2007-09-17T12:34:00.000-05:00

This weekend I met up with The Ex. And it was surprisingly uneventful. There wasn’t that silly little flutter that I’ve had every other time I’ve seen him since the first day I met him.

I had been really nervous because, well, he is THE Ex. Three years ago when I saw him, he looked exactly like he did in high school. Only older with more muscles. And while I don’t look ENTIRELY different, I have evidently maintained the weight I gained from both pregnancies & so am wider than I was then. So this was really picking at me because even though there’s no doubt in my mind I’m with who I’m supposed to be with, there’s still that little piece of me that wants him to be like “Damn! I let THAT ONE get away!?” which is probably the same feeling most girls have about their boys from high school.

Needless to say, I hadn’t really wanted to see him because of my own insecurities, but when I walked up to him, I felt this huge release. Like it is OK that I don’t look the same way as I did when I was 17. And my entire demeanor has changed because of it. I guess I was fretting over the whole ordeal since the first email I got from him saying he was back in the area. So now, I have a whole new outlook on life!

In other news, I booked our flights to see GQ in Seattle. I still can’t believe that we’re going because the Redneck fam is so not the kind of people that make big plans like this and follow them through. It’s amazing! I’ve always wanted to go to Seattle, so I’m super excited. Even if it is with the Redneck Mom and Dad.

Anyone have any requests for sightseeing pictures? We’re only there for a couple of days, so I’m not going to get a lot of tourist-y time, but I’ll do my best!

Mini Vans are PUNK!

2007-09-13T14:51:00.000-05:00

So, most of you are aware of the whole Mini Van debacle of '07. If you're not, I own one. It's tragic and I never thought I would, but I totally do. So there.

Anyway, CB and I have been laughing about it a lot lately because, well, we have some very odd taste in music. When asking the kids what CD to put in, we most often get a response asking for this:

Or this:

And when the hubs and I are in the van by ourselves, he usually puts in someone like this:

Why have we been laughing, you ask? Well, it's because I have this hilarious image of people who look and think like people who own mini vans are "supposed" to look gasping at us in horror as we drive down the street, windows down and one of the above artists blaring throughout the vehicle. Because, surprisingly, my van has a kick-ass stereo system!

So, between the music we play, my uber-cool pink turtle on the back end, and the fact that CB usually dresses like he could be up on stage with one of those people, we have turned the fam-mobile into the punk-mobile. And so maybe--JUST MAYBE--I don't hate it quite as much as I could. . .

Remembering

2007-09-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

I was going to post yesterday. But then it occurred to me that all I would be posting would be a whole lot of nothing. I realized what day yesterday was. And I chose to avoid it until after the kids went to bed last night. Then I watched MSNBC’s airing of the original Today show from 9/11/01.

It also occurred to me that there are probably a lot of people who don’t think that MSNBC should air it anymore. That it brings back too many painful memories. I disagree. I WANT to remember how I felt that day. I WANT to try and put it all into perspective. I don’t want to forget the memories. Because I want to be able to share them with the kids when they are older. They were 2 and almost 3 months old when it happened. So while they can say they were alive, there’s nothing there for them. So when they start studying it, I want to be able to convey the fear, the hopelessness, the pain, the sadness, and the resolve that began on that day and continued for quite a while afterwards. And my heart still breaks for the people that experienced it first hand. It is my dream city, always has been, so to see something so iconic crumble to nothing was mind-boggling. I can’t imagine what it was like to KNOW those buildings. To KNOW the people in those buildings and stand there unable to do anything. It kills me. But that doesn’t mean I want to pretend that it never happened.

I want to remember those feelings so I don’t get bitter about the little things. So I watched and I remembered and reflected. And reminded myself that life isn’t about the stupid stuff that drives me crazy from day to day.

So, that’s just my thoughts on the whole thing. What do you think? Agree or disagree? Should all the video, pictures, survivor accounts, etc. be shoved to the side until they’re entered into some text book 25 years down the road?

Didjya think I'd joined the circus?

2007-09-07T09:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't. I survived the last few days of summer vacation and maybe even enjoyed them. Last Friday I went to see Reba in concert. She was awesome. Melissa Peterman (Barbara Jean from Reba's TV show) did a stand up act as an opener and she was hilarious! Diva and Glamorous Mom got their picture taken with her after the concert (Reba had already left) and Diva got her autograph on a HUGE sign that my mom jacked from the concert venue. Seriously, it's a sick obsession with my mom and her friend. This sign is probably a good eight feet long. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the thing!

The rest of the weekend was mostly uneventful with me having a head cold and feeling like crap for most of it. But we still had a good time. Monday ~~Diva~~ I spent three hours (THREE HOURS!) cleaning her room. I even got to rearrange it (which I love. It's my sick obsession). So now her room is spotless, everything has a drawer or box of some sort in which to belong. We'll just see how long she keeps it that way.

Tuesday was, well, BLISS! It was so nice to get back to a regular routine. And while I didn't dance out of the school after dropping them off, I am much, much happier to see my little ones at the end of the day. And I get my couple of hours to myself to do things like go have coffee with my friends and read without interruption. I think we're all a lot happier.

And, as if school starting wasn't enough good news for the week, we found out that GQ (CB's oldest younger brother. Dresses like he just stepped out of a GQ mag) is coming home from Iraq in the very near future! We're all much relieved that the end is near since he wasn't supposed to be done for another month.

So, that's about all that's going on with us. I was all gung-ho on starting the weight loss plan this week, but that just didn't happen. So NEXT week we'll start being healthy.

Now, a question for you. What's your take on vlogging? I have access to the ability, and was thinking that it would be a fun way to incorporate things here, but I was thinking GRDBBG (the weight loss blog) would be more effective and real if I'm doing video posts instead of just writing. So, thoughts? Questions, comments, or concerns?

Hello! I Didn't Die!

2007-08-30T08:55:00.000-05:00

That's it. The business of summer is behind me! I'm so happy I could cry! I've been working at least an extra half hour every day, if not an hour. Although I did get a free breakfast out of it, I'm wiped. But! Only a few more days until school starts and I get my afternoons back to myself! And this weekend is not busy! I'm going to Reba tomorrow night. And that is our only plans. Saturday will be spent catching up on the cleaning that is in dire need in this house!

The birthday party was awesome. Probably the easiest one we've done so far. Slime cake was deliciously disgusting:

So disgusting, in fact, that there were a couple kids who just couldn't bring themselves to eat it! And now my little man is 8 years old. Doesn't seem like it should be possible, but at the same time, it kind of seems like I've had him my whole life.

On Saturday we went fishing, and I caught a HUGE fish. Not eatable by my standards, but a ginormous one at any rate:

And speaking of this picture, it's disgusted me to the point that once school starts and I get my me time back, I'm hitting the diet thing HARD. So I've started another
blog called "Glamorous Redneck does Body by Glamour". I've been looking at the info about it in my magazine every month, and it seems like the most viable. More of a lifestyle change than actual diet. And I know we need to eat better, so it just makes sense.

There's nothing there yet, but starting next Tuesday, I'll be blogging over there too. And it'll be very honest. This will certainly not be the worst picture ever taken of me. So, if you feel like you could stand to lose a few, and you want to come along for the ride, check it out! I could always use a little moral support! Plus, the more the merrier, right?

Disappearing GR

2007-08-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

Hey, so I kind of disappeared again there, didn't I? It's that time of year where I'm busy at work, busy at home, and just plain busy.

This weekend one of my very best friends (and the last of my bridesmaids) got married. Diva was her flower girl and I was one of her personal attendants. And it poured rain for the better part of the day. Thank GOD I had a huge golf umbrella to transport girls with fancy hair from the vehicle to the church completely unscathed! Diva looked like royalty, as did the bride. It was such a hurried day, and before I knew it, I was sufficiently pissed off at CB (he will not dance. Ever. I threatened bodily harm at our wedding if he didn't dance. Evidently I need to do this at every dancing opportunity.) and the day was over.

Sunday I was exhausted, but we still managed to get to my mom's house and get the children back from her. Then I napped.

Today I'm having lunch with my favorite cousin and then watching the finale of America's Got Talent. Because the guy with the puppets is related to someone that goes to my church. And holy Hannah, he's MEGA talented. If he doesn't win this thing, my lack of faith in the American voting society will be cemented. Because, seriously, anyone can sing. And there's another ridiculous show for that. You three AGT singers will probably get recording contracts anyway, so why not give the $1 million to the guy who really IS the most talented? There, I've plead my case.

This weekend CJ will be turning 8 years old. We're having a Dirty Jobs themed party, complete with slime cake (a la the Nickelodeon Magazine commercials of the early 90's) and swamp sludge punch. I'm excited because I'm a big old nerd who would plan parties professionally if there were a market for it out here!

So I promise I'll get back to all of your blogs again this week. I just can't promise that posting will be anymore than sporadic until school starts.

A Fair to Remember

2007-08-13T09:09:00.000-05:00

So, the tractor pull was just as I had suspected--sucky. The modified ones that looked like drag racers were cool, but since there was only 4 of them and it was a 4 hour show, I didn't really think it was worth the sore arse that came along with sitting on wooden bleachers for that long.

Saturday was super fun, though! Diva and I started off at a tea party where we ate divine food and had wonderful company. Then we picked up our four extra kids and headed off to the fair again. It's really cool because Home Depot always sets up a booth there on Saturday where the kids can build things like pencil boxes, butterfly houses, and race cars for free. My kids love it and the other four did too. The only thing that really sucked was the weather. It rained in the middle of the night, so it was steamy. 90 with 90% humidity at least. It was one of those days that you start dripping sweat as soon as you walk out of the air conditioning. Sucked.

Anyway, we wandered around looking at stuff, watched some lumberjacks race against each other, then we headed down to look at the Belgian horses. Belgians are big like Clydesdales. I think the smallest one was 1500 pounds. Diva usually loves this part because she's a huge horse fan. But the poor thing got BITTEN by one of the horses:
I took the pic this morning, so it looks lots better. But if you look, you can see the freaking TEETH MARKS the thing left on my baby. She was shaking and screaming and so scared. I hated it because I didn't know what to do for her! Plus I hadn't been right there (this was on CB's watch, of course!) so there was no way I could have stopped it.

Granted, the horse was blind in one eye and she came up to him on that side with her arm in the air, but still! She got BITTEN by a HORSE! We're just lucky she didn't get her shoulder broken.

We recovered from that, and the Demo Derby was awesome! We saw a car blow up (drive was safe), another car hop on top of one, and some pretty cool paint jobs on the cars. It was done a lot earlier this year than it was last year, but that was probably a good thing because we had six very hot and very tired children on our hands. I was certainly reminded why we stopped at two.

Yesterday CB had one more request and that was to go to a threshing show. For those of you that have not experienced one of these, let me save you the trouble. Lots of older gentlemen fix up tractors that they used to ride on with their grandpas. Then they drive them around and show how the old wheat threshing machines work. So there, now you can say you know what a threshing show is. Waste of time and cut into my nap time.

Then I did my little co-hosting gig with Mr. Fab and ended up staying up until 3 this morning because evidently it's not a good idea to drink a Rockstar energy drink and a bottle of Coke in the same day. Unless, of course, you're planning to stay up for three days.

I Survived!

2007-08-12T23:50:00.000-05:00

The radio show went well and I had lots of fun talking with Mr. Fab, Turnbaby, Turnbaby's DH & Shelli. You can listen here. I don't know how to embed the little player in my post, but if you go to that website and click on the archived shows, mine is August 12th.

So, it was lots of fun, and I'm so glad that I did it! Plus, Mr. Fab says I'm the nicest co-host that he's ever had, so he automatically scored extra cool points.

Glamorous CONTEST!

2007-08-10T10:54:00.000-05:00

This is one of the few weekends of the year that I actually embrace the whole "redneck" thing. Semi-Civ has its County Fair this weekend, which means FAIR FOOD! Fried cheese curds, mini donuts, pork chops on a stick (don't knock 'em, they're DELISH!), and various other artery-clogging goodness. It also means it's time for the demo derby.

The first time CB tried to convince me that a demo derby would be fun, I was like psssh, wtf-ever. Please, let me pay money to go watch cars crash together. But I was outnumbered and so we headed up to the racetrack. And it was a blast! I want to go BE a demo driver! We've gone the past three years, and the kids can hardly wait for tomorrow night. Their favorite part? When the cars fishtail towards the crowd and spew mud up at all of us. Ok, so maybe I think that's kinda fun too.

They've outnumbered me again this year, and are making me go to the tractor pull tonight. Again, no interest whatsoever. Do you think I could convince them to just drop me off at the mall while they went and watched loud tractors pull a bunch of weights? Of course not. So, I'm ~~trying to~~ being open-minded. But I don't have my hopes up.

Also, make sure you tune in to Mr. Fab's weekly radio show where Yours Truly will be his guest host. I'm nervous, but excited. But I'll be even more excited if some of you will either call in or IM Mr. Fab with questions. Like, if you're reading this and you have a question asked on the radio show, I'll enter you in a drawing for something that is as yet to be determined because I just thought of this right now. But trust me, it'll be cool. So. Got a question you're just dying to ask? Click on Mr. Fab's website and look for instructions on how to get your voice heard! Then listen, and email me at the address over ---> there with your snail mail address and I'll pick a winner on Monday.

A Case of the Funk

2007-08-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

I've been in quite a bit of a rut lately. It sucks because there's like this huge creative tidal wave going on in my head, but none of it can come out. I want to write, but every time I sit down and try to, I'm left with fingers that won't move and ideas that will not come out from underneath the wave.

Maybe it's the late summer blues. While we're booked every weekend until school starts, the weeks are long and boring. Too hard to do anything because I work in the middle of the day. Too hot to do anything because the humidity and I still don't get along so well. So here we sit. Inside. Making the kids do schoolwork (Ha ha! EVIL MOTHER!) so they don't go back and spend the first week of school drooling because they don't remember anything.

In other news, I went to the optometrist a couple of weeks ago and my eyesight had improved so much that he had never seen anything like it. So, of course, I had to get new glasses:
Don't you think they make me look smarter??? OK so maybe not, but I LOVE them! They go along with the whole 50's-60's obsession I've had lately.

Diva and I went to see Hairspray again this weekend with Redneck Sister. Diva said it was the best. movie. ever. She went dancing up the isle at the end of it and can't wait to buy it on video! It's so cute to watch her fall in love with musicals. Does this nerdy mom's heart good!

Hotels

2007-08-07T09:08:00.000-05:00

We were going to get out of town for a couple of days this past weekend, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't shady for less than $100 and if I'm going to pay that much, it's going to be downtown Minneapolis.

Anyway, it reminded me of staying at hotels with various people for various reasons. There is always a funny story that happens at the hotel, and I was reminded of one in particular.

It was my birthday weekend and some friends and I had headed up to the cities for a concert. We had gotten a really good deal on a hotel that was pretty decent. My mom was along too (seriously, she's the coolest mom EVAH!), and she had made the reservation, so she got the keys and we headed up to the room.

When the four of us walked in, we were surprised that there was only one bed. My mom and another friend quickly laid claim to the bed of course. But I hopped on it too. I was surprised to find two CDs on the bedside table. So, I started to investigate. I also came across some used chapstick and a book in the drawer. "Hmm," I thought "maybe the maids haven't cleaned yet."

Then someone opened the dresser drawer and discovered men's underwear. And in the bathroom there was an electric shaver and various other sundries.

"Aaah! We're in the WRONG ROOM!" Friend screamed. My mom said that she would go down and get it all squared up. But (stupid us!) we stayed IN THE ROOM. Friend 1 really had to use the bathroom, so we hustled her along so that we could get out of there.

Sure enough, just as we were opening the door, there was the guy who belonged in the room. Imagine his surprise when he saw three strange women in his room! We quickly apologized and continued to as we made our way out of his room. After he shut his door, Mom made her way back up and we got inside the correct room, just in time to collapse in fits of laughter. I have never had anything like that happen and we've stayed in a whole lot of hotels!

Then, the next morning, Mom got up to use the shower, only there was no water. None. It turned out that there was a huge water main break somewhere and the entire hotel was out of water. They offered us bottled water with which to brush our teeth. Or we could hop on a bus and get taken to another hotel to shower there.

We elected to use the bus because all of us use lots of hairspray and when one sleeps on a hairspray'd head, one looks quite similar to the bride of Frankenstein in the morning. So imagine four overtired (some slightly hungover) women with hair going every which way climbing onto a bus in their pajamas just to be able to shower.

Luckily, the hotel we were driven to was a Sheraton--which has the most comfortable beds in the whole hotel industry--so I got a little bit more sleep whilst the others were primping and priming. Because while I wear more makeup and styling products than them, I've got it all nailed down to about 15 minutes on a high-maintenance day. The other girls that were along take AN HOUR to get ready. And that's just hair!

Your turn. . .any crazy hotel stories?

Ladies, Know Your Boobies

2007-08-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

Nothing I could ramble about today would be nearly as important as this post on Inflammatory Breast Cancer. So, ladies, go read it now. All of you: forward it on, post it on your blog. Let your mom/sister/grandma/great Aunt Bettie twice removed know about this type of very dangerous breast cancer.

And know your boobies. So you know when something changes.

Wow

2007-08-02T10:24:00.001-05:00

So, in case you live under a rock, I'm sure you heard about the tragedy that hit this state today. While I'm two hours away from it all, I have been on that bridge so many times. I'm shocked. I'm worried for the many friends I have up there that haven't posted anything on myspace or anything. I know I'm overreacting and that they're most likely fine, but I won't feel completely OK until I have actually heard from each and every one of them telling me that I'm paranoid and overreacting.

I was just glued to the TV last night. I couldn't get over how big that bridge was and the fact that it's all just a big pile of rubble now. I'm so thankful that more people weren't hurt, but even though they decreased the death toll, I'd be stupid and naive to think that it was going to stay that low.

None of it seems all that real to me. So I just stay glued to the computer, refreshing and checking emails, waiting for them to tell me that they're all OK.

You Can't Stop the Beat!

2007-08-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

Evidently it's movie week here at Glamorous Redneck.

Last night I had a very much deserved Girl's night out to see Hairspray! with one of my very dear friends. It was AWESOME! I had seen the original movie, but it was years ago and so it was like seeing it for the first time. Plus, since it was a movie, then Broadway, and now a movie based on the Broadway show, it was probably different from the first movie too.

The songs were so good and the costumes were to DIE for! Friend and I were contemplating how to make dresses of our own. The voices were amazing, as were the actors.

Afterwards we headed to Applebee's for 1/2 price appetizers and I had a perfect margarita that was. . .well. . .perfect. I didn't get home until midnight and couldn't sleep because the songs just kept running through my head! I really COULDN'T stop the beat! lol

Diva was very determined to find out if it was an OK movie for her to see, so she felt it necessary to wake me up not once. not twice. but THREE TIMES to see if I was awake yet and find out if the movie would be OK. And that was after twice coming in my room to get clothes out of the laundry baskets.

The worst part of all of that is that this is an old house. An old house that doesn't have normal doors. The door to my bedroom has some sort of weird spring thing in the doorknob mechanism. The kids have yet to grasp the art of closing this door (turn knob, push door, hold with foot, unturn knob) so instead of doing it, they will slam the door. And when slamming the door just makes it come open again, they slam it again. And again. Until they slam it so hard it sounds like an A-Bomb went off outside my room and I'm awake for the day. Hmmmm. Maybe they do this on purpose. . .

Loyalty

2007-07-31T08:52:00.000-05:00

I really don't follow the NBA. Or hockey, soccer, or even much of baseball for that matter. I have a general knowledge (probably more than most girls I know) about how each of the games run and I try to keep up with at least who is on the Minnesota teams' starting lineups. And I will read the sports headlines if they look like they include a name I recognize. Yesterday there was one that said Kevin Garnett of the Minnesota Timberwolves was getting traded to Boston. This surprises me because I always kind of pictured him as a franchise player. But it doesn't surprise me because the glory days of the 'Wolves being a force to be reckoned with are long gone and he pretty much was the only guy who did anything outstanding.

The whole professional sports thing just really bothers me lately. Seriously, these guys are being paid an insane amount of money to play a sport that they love while I make my measly little salary doing something that I never in a million years imagined I would do. And it certainly isn't my passion!

Even when I was little I remember there being one or two big names that would stay with a team for their entire career. And it's so sad how these people are so concerned with making more money or getting that big championship ring that they will not even put up a fight when their ownership talks trade.

I guess it's sad to me because the lesson that they are teaching the kids that look up to them. There's no such thing as loyalty anymore. You just take off for the highest bidder or the one that promises you everything that you've always dreamed of instead of just sticking with what you start and trusting that it takes time to build things.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being hyper-sensitive (like a crabby old man "back in my day. . .") to the whole thing, but all these people who make more money than they could ever spend who then turn around and get busted for drugs. Or drinking and driving. Or freaking dog fighting (what's up with THAT?) really just piss me off.

Transformers!

2007-07-30T08:49:00.000-05:00

When I was little, I really had the best of both worlds. I lived in this awesome apartment complex and there was a group of us (it varied between 6-10 kids, depending upon who was there and who had moved on) that would play together every day. The boys were always willing to play house with us and us girls were always willing to get down and dirty and play our made up game Navy Seals.

The boys got me hooked on these fun little toys called Transformers. My favorite was Bumblebee and my all-time favorite was, of course, Optimus Prime. I had a few of my own, but I had always wanted my very own Optimus. Naturally, he was way too expensive for my mom (who was single at the time) to buy for me.

When I heard they were making the transformers movie, I was so excited! Then I heard that they were making Bumblebee into a freaking Camero and I was PISSED! I hate when these things are remade and don't stick to the authentic version! I was going to boycott it out of respect for the cartoons.

Then I saw the previews during the trailers before the Pirates movie, and I decided there was no way I was missing that thing! I was still mad that they'd changed my favorite character, but the effects looked too good to miss.

Yesterday, after much begging and pleading that the movie would be cheapened if we didn't get to see it on the big screen and watching the how it was made little things on TV, CB finally concurred that we needed to go see the movie.

Let me tell you, I am totally over them changing Bumblebee. Because that car was AWESOME! And Bumblebee was still awesome.

Seriously, if you can, you HAVE to get to that movie in the theaters! When it was over, I wanted to sit through it again. The effects are insane, the storyline is awesome, Josh Duhamel is drool-worthy as usual and the cars are INSANE! Also, did I mention that the effects are awesome?

Anyway, enough about that. I haven't talked about this yet, but I'll be doing an interview with Mr. Fab himself on Sunday August 12th. I'll give you more details as it gets closer, but mark your calendars so you can listen in and call in with questions. Don't leave me hanging there all by myself!!! :)

The De-Glamorfication of GR

2007-07-25T12:18:00.000-05:00

July 3rd marked the 12th anniversary of yours truly moving out here to Podunk. And it occurred to me the other day just how much living here has effected my fashion choices. The first evidence of this began on the first day of school here. My entire life I (along with most of my friends) dressed in our best attire for the first day of school. I remember scouring clothing racks for back to school clothes, trying so hard to find The Perfect outfit. It's the whole "make a good first impression thing" at its finest.

So when I moved here, I luckily had a cousin to show me the ropes. I had a perfectly dressy outfit picked out for the first day of school. She and I were making small-talk as she showed me around the school (seriously, the high school here is a freaking MAZE! You need a college degree to navigate it properly. Or just have grown up here, but whatever!). Anyways, I asked her what she was planning on wearing the first day of school and she was all "eh, I don't know. Probably just a T-shirt and jeans." And I died a little inside. Why?!?!? Why would you just throw on any old thing and call it good? Now that I think about it, I suppose it's because out here everyone already knows everyone else, so there's not really that NEED for a good first impression.

I'll have you know that I settled for a slightly-less-dressy but nowhere near t-shirt and jeans first day of school outfit.

But today I was thinking about what's dressy out here as opposed to, say, Minneapolis. The only place where people actually dress up for work is at the banks. And even then, khaki's are acceptable. Most places of business are the jeans and maybe a polo kind of place.

So, is this the way it is today? Have we become that casual of a society? Or is it just out here in Podunk that this sort of fashion is acceptable?

It has effected me. More so than I had realized. I do work in a t-shirt and jeans type place, but I'm totally fine with that. I still dress up when I feel like it, but when I do, I feel awkward and overdressed. It drives me crazy, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let this place completely turn me into an uber-casual person with no thought put into their wardrobe whatsoever!

Summer Bright Spot

2007-07-23T09:59:00.000-05:00

From mid-July to mid-August the weather here is stifling. It isn't uncommon to have weeks like the one we're having now where the temps are 90+ with 95% humidity. And I hate HATE hate humidity. But this is my favorite part of summers in Minnesota for one reason and one reason alone: SWEET CORN!!

I know it's coming when the little street stands start popping up. Then, before we know it, the pickup trucks start pulling into gas stations with beds full of delicious Minnesota sweet corn. And I know you can get corn on the cob anywhere in the world, but there is nothing that tastes quite as good as the fresh-off-the-stalk lovliness of the stuff they grow here.

The first time I had it was when my brother and I came out here from VA to spend a summer with my grandma. I remember her being so excited because it was almost time for the corn to ripen and I was all "who cares? You can buy it in the freezer section at the grocery story year-round!"

And then I tasted it. For that blissful four weeks time, we ate corn on the cob with every meal. In fact, some nights is WAS our meal. It was a slow night if the five of us only went through a dozen ears. After that summer, I was hooked. So it was my little bright spot when we moved here (at least I'll get sweet corn again!), and has been the one thing that keeps me going all through the summer every year since then.

Yesterday we finally got our first batch. And this weekend we'll be eating as much as we can jam down our throats. Not to mention that Redneck Mom should be calling us up to their farm to pick some more.

Soon it'll all be gone, and we'll be so tired of corn that we won't eat it for a good two months. But for right now, it's my little bright spot that makes the crappy weather just a little more bearable.

Does your region of the globe grow anything that you look forward to?

Topical Depression

2007-07-20T08:56:00.000-05:00

The thing I hate most about the dreams about The Ex is it makes me all wistful and nostalgic. Not because of him, but because of what he represents. High School. No responsibility. Hot make out sessions with the anticipation that you can get caught at any second. OK, so those still happen on occasion, but you get my point, right? ;)

Anyway, when I get wistful and nostalgic, I usually break out my high school pictures, look them over a few dozen times and then I'm good in a couple of days. However, since I'm at my dad's house, I have an even better form of torture: Home Videos. So last night, I sat down with a box of Kleenex and hit play. I watched my brother's first kindergarten performance, a couple of Christmases Past, CB and my wedding dance, and a couple of choir concerts. But then I found a tape that had my Grandma's house after a horrible flood that destroyed it. And after the obligatory insurance video, there was my grandma. So excited about her new house and giving my aunt a virtual tour of it. That's when I lost it.

My grandma was an amazing woman. She was the absolute best woman that I have ever known. We never had to question how much she loved us and her birthday cards were the stuff memories are made of. Every year, she would write a note about how excited she was the day I was born (so excited she went through half a loaf of bread because she kept burning it. And she would tell me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. And she did this for everyone that she held close to her heart) and every year it would make me blubber. That first birthday without her was horrible. My mom tries--and does the same thing--but it's not the same as seeing Grandma's perfectly messy conglomeration of cursive and printing.

So last night as I was watching this video, I closed my eyes and it was just like she was standing in the room with me. I miss her voice. I miss her jokes. I miss her useless trivia about all things Wizard of Oz. I hate that she didn't ever get to see Wicked. I hate that I didn't ever get to discuss the book with her. But most of all I hate that my kids don't get to know her. Because she could read a children's book like no one else I've ever met.

Here's a pic of my grandma and grandpa. I'm pretty sure it's their wedding picture. And that's not my grandma's real hair. She never really knew what her natural color was. If she wasn't wearing wigs, she was dying her hair blonde. So it's comforting for me to know that there is still part of her here with me (I'm the same way. NO IDEA what the natural color is). Because she was so very awesome.

Now, I'm over the moping. I'm laughing at all the good memories and not thinking about the bad. It just really hit me last night how much of an impact she had on my life.

So who is YOUR impactor? Who is that one person that influenced you the most to become who you are today?

Lack of sleep is SO not Glamorous

2007-07-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

I think that the sleep thing is an issue for all of us. Because while the children are getting up at 5:00 in the morning, I am laying in bed at that same time, tossing and turning trying to get just two more hours eeked in. I think that the whole lack of sleep is a major contributor to my feeling like I want to just crawl in a corner and cry everytime something frustrating comes up with the kids.

Maybe it's the whole sleeping in a different place thing for them. I've been having trouble going to sleep. And I shouldn't be. I've never had trouble. My dad's bed is one of those Sleep Number (My number is 45) beds and every other time I've stayed, I've crawled into the thing and gone right to sleep. Only I haven't stayed here since the Big Breakup of '05.

See, now it's not my parents' bed. It's my dad's bed. My dad who has begun dating again. Which means ladyfriends that have stayed the night. Which also means there is most likely some. . .stuff. . .going on in that bed with women that I don't know (I've only met the official Girlfriend. There have been others before her) and that skeeves me out.

Add to that that last night I had a dream about The Ex and the same sort of . . .stuff. . .which made me so mad at myself that I couldn't get back to sleep even if I had wanted to and it all combines for one VERY tired Glamorous Redneck.

I HATE those dreams! You know, the vivid. . .stuff. . .dreams either with people you know or don't know (and usually AREN'T your significant other). They make it so I can't sleep at night because I feel horrible for even thinking those things in my sub-conscious mind. I know there's nothing I can do to control them and I also know that CB has them too (because HE TELLS ME about them. Seriously, people in relationships, there is such a thing as too much honesty. Some things are better left unsaid), but none of that helps with the guilt that follows me around for the rest of the day.

How about for you? Do you get all ickified by those dreams? Or do you just let it slide as one of those stupid things our psyche uses to drive us mad?

Week in a Nutshell

2007-07-16T10:46:00.000-05:00

So hello! I disappeared for a while there, didn’t I? A brief rundown of what’s been going on:

Monday – Overtired and not feeling like blogging.

Tuesday – CJ had baseball playoffs. CJ saved the game and advanced their team when he caught a pop fly. He was so excited (as was the whole team)! I think I just might get a sport outta this boy yet!

CB had taken the day off work to watch because it was potentially their last game and he hadn’t been to one yet.

Wednesday – Another playoff game. CJ’s team won again. Rushed straight from game to work. They won again!

Thursday – Conference championship. Took the day off work because I wasn’t sure how long it was going to go. If they would have won, we would have had to get to another town for the Regional championship. We lost to a team that was undefeated, so the boys weren’t too upset. Took our time heading back home, stopping to play at parks and such.

Friday – Phone call at 6:00 AM (did you see that AM?!? No one calls that early unless someone’s died.) “Oh!” I think. “Must be time for [best friend, we’ll call Pam] to go to the hospital for baby!” So, I jumped out of bed, all excited. Here it was just one of the ladies from church calling to tell me that Pam and her hubby left for the hospital in the middle of the night and she needed someone to watch ½ of Pam’s kids today because she had to be at an orientation by 1:00 PM (did you see that PM? As in SEVEN HOURS after she called me?!?!?). I told her that I would check with Redneck Mom (she watches my kids on Fridays), however I would not be calling her until the humane hour of 8:00.

Had Pam’s girls at my house when her hubby called to tell them that their new little brother (this is #5!) was born. Can’t even begin to tell you how awesome it was to watch their little faces light up!

Saturday – CB & CJ went to a Cub Scouts day camp. Diva, Glamorous Mom and I had a girls’ day out! Started with a park excursion, then went to a Tastefully Simple party, then headed to semi-civ to shop and visit the new baby and family. They are all fantastic and new baby is PERFECT.

Sunday – Glamorous Dad is gone to San Diego for vacation. He left us the keys to the Jeep. We have been cruising all over town taking advantage of the lovely little Jeep Wrangler. It’s the closest I’ll get to a convertible in the near future, so we spent most of yesterday cruising around town. Love it!

Monday – Today I’m tired because Diva has been waking up at 5:00 in the morning. Cannot function on such little sleep. Need nappy.

Thanks for all the compliments on the new blog look! I promise I’ll be getting around to all of you in the next day or so. Today the kids are at VBS, so I’m working early. Which means we get our afternoons back. Which also means that I will be taking the monkeys to the pool to wear them out. Perhaps then they will not want to get up so stinking early in the morning!!!!

Ooo look at the pretty!

2007-07-06T12:42:00.000-05:00

Do you love it as much as I do? Is it not the coolest blog design EVER?!?!? Did you see the little GR necklace on the uber-hot version of me up there? With the good hair? Zoe at Chic and Sassy Designs is the culprit behind my fabulous new makeover. And I totally love her for doing this for me!

It's amazing what little change can do for my mood. I'm all happy and excited and just keep sitting and staring at my blog. And for once, it isn't because I don't know what to write!

Also, I am officially child free! I just need to get through the rest of the work day and I'll be home free!

It's been so hot here and since our house was built in the stone age, and we have radiant heat (you know, the kind that just comes through little water thingies on the wall instead of vents?), the only kind of air conditioning that we have (or could afford since I do not think it's worth $20 grand to have the central air installed) is window air conditioners. Needless to say, when it gets hot like it's been, they don't work very well unless the area they are trying to cool is made as small as possible. So the kids have been sleeping on the floor in our room. CB would be just fine leaving the doors open and sleeping with the windows open, but I have never not had comfortable air conditioning and while I'm not very demanding in most aspects, I DEMAND to be able to sleep in temperatures lower than 80 degrees. So it will be nice tonight to not have to worry about stepping on tiny bodies in the middle of the night.

Hope y'all have a great weekend! :)

All Messed Up

2007-07-05T10:39:00.000-05:00

Two nights of fireworks + getting home way late + having to wake up early this morning = one very tired and very cranky Glamorous Redneck.

On Tuesday night, we went out to the casino and watched the fireworks get lit almost right next to us. They were huge and amazing and almost an hour long. By the time the parking lot cleared out, it was almost midnight. CB was mucho glad that he didn't have to get up at his normal 5:50 am.

Then yesterday we ventured the ten miles up the road to the Redneck parents' town. CB's dad was in the parade being honored as their "Artist in Residence", so the kids got to ride through the parade with him and throw candy.

I love the small town parades. I know that up in the cities most places don't allow you to throw candy anymore. And for as small as this particular town is (maybe 300 people. And that just might be exaggerating), they really do put on an awesome celebration. After the parade, we headed back to CB's parents' house for a barbecue. It was delicious. Then we came home and everyone but me slept for almost two hours. I went outside and weeded my garden, upon getting all the foreign weeds out, I saw that I have two little roma tomatoes on my one plant. This feels like a HUGE accomplishment! A plant in my care has survived long enough to produce the fruit it is supposed to! And it is not dead!

I also love the fireworks. They are the one thing from my childhood that still amazes me. It's insane how the people that put these together can figure out different chemical reactions to make such pretty colors and sparkles! There was even one that exploded in the shape of a star! Soo cool!

Today it's back to normal and CJ had a baseball game. I'm totally confused as to what day of the week it is. First I thought it was Monday, then Tuesday, now I'm excited because it's really Thursday! I think everyone should get a day off in the middle of the week. Every week. Makes everything go by so much faster. As long as I have a calendar nearby to remind me what day it is. . .

Worst Cartoon Ever?

2007-07-03T10:49:00.001-05:00

I was reading a little MSN article about the worst cartoons ever made. Granted, I knew before I even clicked on the link there were going to be some of my favorites on the list. When they listed Transformers, I was only marginally surprised. Pokemon did not surprise me one bit. Then I scrolled down and saw the one cartoon that ruled my Saturday mornings. The people who wrote the article claimed that Jem and the Holograms belongs on the list of worst cartoons ever. WTF? That cartoon RULED! I own(ed) practically every single doll they ever made. I had the stage, the car, Synergy, the works! I spent days on end being Jem. She was by far the coolest rock star of my youth!

Then they go so far as to say that My Little Pony and She-ra weren't any better. I'm sorry, but I look at cartoons today compared to the ones that I grew up with and I'm sad. Sad that they seem to need to stick such mature themes in them (like the wizardry and the destroying of everything and everyone) I miss the days of Muppet Babies and He-Man and She-ra. When cartoons were strictly entertainment for little ones on Saturday mornings. Granted there are some good ones today too, but nothing seems to come close to the stuff that we grew up with.

Maybe that's just part of growing up. I'm sure that Glamorous Mom would say that her cartoons were way better than mine were. So what do you think? Check the whole list out here and see if your favorite is on the list. Do you agree? Disagree? Discuss. . .

In other news, the spawn have redeemed themselves thoroughly. I went to get my haircut this morning and they played so nicely whilst we were there that I didn't hear a peep out of them. So, maybe I'll go pick them up on Saturday like I'm supposed to. Because the truth of the matter is that once it gets to be about 10:00 on the morning after they've left me, I'm kind of wandering around aimlessly and am lost without them. I almost feel guilty for needing to be away from them, but I remind myself that it's best for everyone's sanity if we all get a break every now and then. Because I do love my kids with all my heart and they are my whole world. Just sometimes need to unplug from the world on occasion.

And just when I finished typing that sentimental little tidbit they started fighting again with the classic "He's touching me!" "I'm not doing anything to her, Mommy."

Ahhh, the joys of summer.

I Got Nothin'

2007-07-02T12:07:00.000-05:00

Evidently the kids aren't the only ones whose brains shut down for the summer. I seriously do not know what to write about. I'm over tired, suffering from sun overexposure (which when you are the same shade as a freaking bottle of baby powder, it doesn't take much), and am currently listening to the children fight in the other room.

I had always wanted to have my kids close together. My brother and I are 7 years apart, and so I felt like we had kind of missed out on the whole "bonding" thing. And CJ and Diva have always been very close. Lately, however, they've elected to show how much they love each other by seeing who can annoy the other to the brink of insanity first. Sadly, they are both winning because I am about to lose my freaking mind.

Over the past month of summer, it's gotten progressively worse. To the point where I have threatened to find another job so that they would have to have their sorry butts in daycare. Numerous times. Which is of course followed by choruses of "No, no, Mommy! We'll be good. We promise!" Bah. I have also threatened to skip town for the rest of the summer, leaving them solely in the care of their father. Which is the one that seems to have the biggest effect on them. If you go and ready Rockstar Mommy's account of her desire to get out of the house, you'll get a much more hilariously written account of the feelings I've been dealing with for the past two weeks. Thankfully, Glamorous Mom is taking these people away from me on Friday night. I might "forget" to pick them up until Sunday. Because there may or may not be multiple alcoholic beverages consumed on Friday night, and I may or may not dance the happy dance of joy for hours on end. Which may or may not lead to me not getting up until noon on Saturday.

Cowboys (sadly, no butts)

2007-06-27T12:30:00.000-05:00

I was all gung-ho to get y'all some cowboy butt pictures. However, the digital camera is still a fairly new toy and CB decided to lay his claim on it for the night. And he's lots taller and stronger than me, so I let him have it. I do have some cowboy pictures, though:
I guess this one is SOMEWHAT of a butt shot.

Bronc rider gearing up to get out of the gate

Can we all say ouch? I don't know how those guys do that!

My favorite little cowgirl

And finally, my favorite cowboy of them all. Acting all "bad-ass" and "no, I will not smile for you, just take the damn picture you freak. What are you using this for?" Me:"Umm, myspace?"

So there you have it. Sorry, ladies, but it's the best I could do!

And back to normal we go. . .

2007-06-25T11:46:00.000-05:00

I realized this weekend just how much I love our little town celebration. I love all the activity building up to it, and I love to see our little town bustling with hundreds of extra people. It's so much fun to watch the crowds slowly build and build and build until the big parade on Saturday afternoon. Then the final rodeo is put on Saturday night and the big fireworks and streetdance closed out the festivities. And then on Sunday, when all the cowboys have rolled out of town and everyone wakes up, it goes back to the sleepy little town we've become accustomed to. You're lucky if you see three cars pass on a Sunday afternoon. And on the Sunday after our little celebration, that decreases to one lone car driving down main street. A few highlights (and maybe lowlights) of the weekend:

-The rodeo was AWESOME! There were a ton of people and one of our local cowboys that's still in high school rode and scored with the big boys

-It didn't get nearly as hot as it was supposed to. In fact, I had to bring a jacket for the rodeo.

-Almost all of my very best friends were home and I spent Saturday night hanging out with them. I love my friends and I miss them all very much!

-My friend that I was a "special mom" for didn't win one of the royal ambassador crowns at the pageant, and I was more upset than she was. She's just fine with it.

-And finally, the best story of them all: The mini van got assaulted by a golf cart. I was driving down the road trying to get my friend to her house so she could change her clothes before the parade and a golf cart came out of nowhere and ran into the back of the van. I didn't stop because I figured a golf cart couldn't possibly do that much damage to a car right? Well, I was wrong and this is what I ended up with:

Needless to say, CB was pissed. Both at me because I hadn't stopped and at the random person that did it.

Later on in the evening, I was relaying the story to Glamorous Mom who started laughing uncontrollably and picked up her cell phone to call one of our friends. It turned out that the random golf cart assailant was none other than one of my darling twins that I babysat when they were five. I told her that if she didn't like me, she could just tell me instead of, you know, trying to run me off the road!

I'm glad that it was me though and not someone else. Because not everyone would react as if it were all a big joke. I took this picture for the sheer purpose of putting it in a frame for the poor thing.

Now it's back to normal boring life as we know it. And while it's a welcome break from the craziness, I wish it all would happen more than once a year.

She's got the best of both worlds!

2007-06-20T13:14:00.000-05:00

So after much searching, painting, and possibly some internal cursing, I do believe we've got the whole Hannah Montana deal figured out. I was trying to replicate the logo from the show, but then I remembered the whole "I don't know how to draw a straight line" and "I don't have the right colors of paint", so I instead decided to just print the darn thing from the lovely interweb.

Diva is very anxious for the parade tonight and I have successfully pissed off CB because I told him that he has to be there to support his daughter. God forbid we go out in the community and socalize! Oh, the humanity of it all!!! And why would I want him to be cheering on his daughter when he could be out fishing! Aren't I just the WORST. WIFE. EVER?!?!? lol Not really, and he's probably not THAT mad at me. At least I don't think he is.

So, I'm now going to attempt to get some work done. It's amazing how much harder it is to be productive when you go to work in the middle of the day. It takes most of my energy to just keep myself on task, let alone actually accomplish what I'm working on!

Wish me luck!

Mini Van moping and other nonsense

2007-06-19T13:12:00.000-05:00

So I'm still not over the whole fact that, yes, I own a mini-van. And I've noticed something since I've been driving it: I get passed a lot more often. Like, a lot.

My car was a Taurus with a 24 valve DOHC engine. I don't know what all that crap means (CB has explained it to me, but all I heard was "blah blah blah FASTER blah blah blah") So, we call it the racecar. And it is fast. And I do not get to drive it very often anymore. But, when I did drive it, I NEVER got passed. Except when we were in the cities because those people drive 900 miles an hour and I am not as experienced at the whole Interstate experience as I would like to be.

Now, however, I am passed at least twice. And I'm only driving ten miles. In the middle of the day. This drives me crazy. I ~~never~~ always drive the speed limit, so I'm appalled that I am still getting passed by people. So what is it? Is my speedometer off? Or do people just think "ahh, it's just one of those law-abiding-soccer-moms, so I'll pass"?? < / rant>

In other news, this week is once again our town celebration. The one where all the cowboys come to town. Diva will be dancing downtown tomorrow night after the kiddie parade. A kiddie parade which we had all decided we were NOT going to be a part of. Until last night when Diva heard her dance teacher talking about making sure you get your clothes changed after the Kiddie Parade so that all the little darlings are ready to dance. Then all of a sudden Diva HAD to be in the kiddie parade. "Fine." I told her. "As soon as YOU come up with something you would like to be in the parade, I will be more than happy to call and register you." Partly because I was not feeling motivated enough to try and be creative about a theme, but mostly because I get too damn competitive and when my kids don't win I take it as a personal insult. So, for the sanity of all involved, we were not going that route.

But then this morning, she had a plan. Now we are rushing to put together a Hannah Montana costume. Luckily she got a really cool microphone for her birthday and has long blonde-ish hair (it'll work), so I just need to buy her some trendy looking clothes and make a sign to decorate the wagon that will supply her lip-syncing music (which I bribed CJ to please please, PLEASE pull for her).

So, I'm off to research our new favorite TV show for fashion ideas.

Memes because I am overtired and cannot think of anything interesting to talk about

2007-06-15T10:03:00.000-05:00

I could not get to sleep last night, and today is the one day of the week where I actually HAVE to get sleep because I have to be at work by 8:30. So, I have nothing to entertain you with other than these fabulous memes I've been tagged with in the past couple of weeks.

First, courtesy of Mommy the Maid:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 17 and experiencing the best summer ever (for a high school girl) friends, The Ex, fun, and lots of good memories.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Dealing with the fact that my baby was soon going to be a kindergartener.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Cool Ranch Doritos
2. Caribou Coffee milk chocolate mocha ice cream bars
3. M & M’s (mostly peanut butter, but I’ll take any kind)
4. Carrots and Tostitos spinach dip
5. popcorn with Tabasco sauce

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1. Ice Ice Baby (Shut up! Do you know how many times I had to listen to my RECORD before I figured it out?!?!) by the one and only Vanilla Ice
2. Eternal Flame by the Bengals
3. November Rain ~ GNR
4. Freshmen ~ The Verve Pipe
5. Far Away ~ Nickelback

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Pay off bills!
2. Design and build a house exactly the way I want it
3. Have my loft apt. in NYC
4. Adopt 2 more kids
5. College Funds

Five bad habits:
1. Oversleeping
2. Not returning emails as promptly as I should
3. Playing stupid computer games
4. PROCRASTINATION
5. Forgetting to send cards/email/call people when I know they need to hear from me

Five things you like doing:
1. singing
2. Taking long car trips
3. going to Minneapolis
4. Flying
5. Tap!

Five things you would never wear again:
1. Layered slouch socks
2. Hypercolor shirts (seriously who wants to tell the whole world where you’re sweaty??)
3. Bicycle shorts with a T-shirt and a shirt clip
4. Suspenders
5. overalls with one strap not hooked (Totally keeping. Ugh!)

Five favorite toys:
1. My collector Barbies
2. the computer
3. Tassimo coffee maker
4. baseball mitt
5. football

Then, Courtesy of Jeannine

Eight Random Facts About Me

1. When I was about thirteen, I used to pretend to have either a British or Australian accent whenever I went out with my friends. They would then say I was their cousin/step-sister/foreign exchange student in town for a visit. This was usually just to get the guys.

2. I can recite the entire movie of Disney's The Little Mermaid by heart. Complete with musical interludes and everything. THAT's how many times I've seen it.

3. I can also make my nose sound like a ukulele.

4. Music is a huge part of my life. I'm constantly taking songs that I hear on the radio and applying them to my own personal movie soundtrack. Sometimes I hear a new song that will remind me of something that happened 10 years ago. It still brings back the old feelings and butterflies.

5. I love the nostalgia aspect of wooden roller coasters, but I absolutely cannot stand to ride on them. I get an instant migraine the second I get off.

6. I once saw a maintenance guy sitting on top of a roller coaster. We found out on the news later that night that he wasn't just sitting there and had actually been electrocuted and DIED right there!

7. I can recite the months of the year backwards just as easily as I can forward.

8. I used to sneak into R rated movies with my best friend when I was 12. We looked old enough to do it. Now, I constantly get carded because I STILL look 17.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but play along! Either in my comments or on your own blog. But make sure you let me know so I can come check you out!

I'm Over It. . .

2007-06-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

Today is a new day and I’m (mostly) over it. Basically what happened is my brother overslept and instead of my dad being rational, he blew up at my brother. So, my brother has decided to quit his job, quit playing baseball and is moving back to his college town two months early. It’s probably good for him because there’s nothing to do here but it just pisses me off when my dad acts so immature.

The worst part of it all is that it’s not my brother he’s mad at. He’s still mad at my mom and instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, he takes all his frustrations out on my brother. Plus he’s got a horrible temper. He’ll blow up and then five minutes later he’s like “well why are you so upset”. I know it. I lived it for seven years. He’s the reason I moved out of my parents’ house just a week after graduation. It’s also the reason I never went back.

So I don’t blame my brother for getting the heck out of there. I think he’ll do better with more opportunities and more friends back in Collegeville. I just wish it didn’t have to be that way.

In other news, CJ had his first baseball game today. They won 29-18. Granted they play a little differently in that 10 hitters go every inning whether they swing once or ten times and they’re all little. But CJ did awesome! He had good base hits and was scored in both of his times on base. I just might get a sport outta this boy yet!

Anyways, now I’m off to go cruise around in my brother’s much-cooler-than-my-mini van Chrysler Sebring. I keep trying to think of things to do before I have to switch vehicles because it’s so nice to be driving a CAR. With a moon-roof and everything (or maybe it’s a sunroof. I don’t know which one is which.)

Also, I’m joining the bandwagon of people who comment on their own blogs. I wasn’t doing it because I’m a COMMENT WHORE and need to know how much you like me! Lol But then I feel bad because it’s like y’all comment and I just leave the conversation open-ended. So be on the lookout for GR comments!

No More Drama

2007-06-13T13:18:00.001-05:00

I do not want to be the peacekeeper anymore.

I do not want my family to all call me after they have a blowout.

I want my parents back on speaking terms.

I don’t want to be the mature one anymore.

I want my dad to realize he’s slowly pushing everyone away because he cannot keep his mouth shut.

I want my brother to grow up and be responsible.

I want someone in my family to care about what they’re doing to ME and MY FAMILY instead of their own drama for five freaking minutes.

I want to rewind time to two years ago before all this crap happened and tell them all to grow up and get marriage counseling.

I want my husband to be more understanding when I need to vent about this stuff (I know he will be tonight and will apologize for the way he was this afternoon, but I still wish he would just GET it and take two minutes when I need him.)

But most of all, I want my real dad, the one that’s in California. I want to be able to curl up next to him and just cry. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me that everything will be fine. I want him to be able to be the dad that he wanted to be and can be now, except for the fact that he’s 2,000 miles away.

Hot in the city Country

2007-06-12T08:38:00.000-05:00

We survived our first day of blasting heat. The outlook is bleak, however for the Glamorous Dad who DID NOT PUT SUNCREEN ON MY BABIES! Which has caused them to be sufficiently sunburned almost to the point of blistering. Needless to say I was LIVID. So, I will be lathering them up with SPF 982 to ensure that the blisters do not happen. Because I've had the blisters and they hurt like a mutha.

Evidently all the classes were really fun yesterday and we lucked out with the weather because it wasn't nearly as humid as it was supposed to be. But that sun was HOT. I was just outside this morning and it's actually quite pleasant out there. I just wish that the kids' outside activities were in the morning instead of at 11, 1, and 2. I'll just keep them lathered and hydrated.

I'm feeling like I'm really missing out on all the fun. Hopefully things at work will change in the next few weeks and I'll be able to actually watch some of the games and such. I am planning on taking this Thursday off to prepare for Birthday Insanity 2007. I'll be busy making fairy-sized cakes, stapling curling ribbon together for magic wands, and frosting cupcakes to look like toadstools.

I love all this party-planning stuff, and if I could do it for a living I totally would. In fact, the plans are sort of in the works for some friends of mine. And I think it would work because there are more than enough little girls in this town that would love a state-of-the-art party. So it's kind of exciting!

Now I'm off to drop Diva at her dance and theater classes, then tonight we're going to our first Cub Scout meeting where CB is going to be the Den Leader. It's so cute how excited my boys are about this whole ordeal. I'm just glad that it's started up again because CJ doesn't like the sports so much and needed something that wasn't PS2 to entertain himself with!

Back to Normal

2007-06-11T11:28:00.000-05:00

So Redneck Sister is off to her summer job at a camp way up in northern Minnesota. And Foreign Friend is safely back in The Netherlands. Even though we miss them like crazy, I have to say that it was quite nice to be in bed before midnight last night.

It was, however, a highly eventful night. Diva and CJ started vacation bible school last night. So CB and I dropped them off there, then took a little walk together (it's nice to have my husband all to myself again too). Then the sky got really really dark and that icky green color that only comes when nasty weather is on it's way. Although we live in a valley where tornadoes are not supposed to happen, there was one here just 7 years ago (luckily we were out of town when it hit and our house wasn't damaged). That is still very fresh in my mind, so I was a wee bit panicked when the warnings actually interrupted a movie channel to tell us that there was severe weather.

We decided it would be much better on my paranoia if I had the kids with me, so we went and got them about a half hour early and headed over to my dad's house to hang out in the basement. See, we call our basement the dungeon because it's old and unfinished and there are lots of spider webs down there. Since my dad's basement is finished and equipped with a home theater system (with HUGE TV), we decided it would be better to spend the next two hours hanging out in his basement than in ours.

The warnings expired after 9:00 last night, and although we had torrential rains and high winds, there were no tornadoes that touched down.

When we headed home, CB and I decided to do what we do best when there is dangerous weather: Drive around and take pictures! While he didn't want to get up on top of the hill to take the really good pictures, we finally got out of town and this is what the sky looked like on the other side of the big old wall clouds that passed through:
Pretty, right? The other half of the sky was still black and lightening, but we thought this was just gorgeous.

Now the Summer Rec classes have started for Diva and CJ and of course it's 90 with 90% humidity. Wouldn't be proper otherwise. So I loaded them up with lots of sunscreen and water and am hoping they don't get too wiped out. I'm sure I'll have lots of good stories about their adventures in baseball, soccer, T-Ball and Theater!

Phrases I never thought I'd utter on our summer vacation. . .

2007-06-08T09:20:00.000-05:00

. . .let alone utter multiple times:

-Diva, please do not sit on your brother's head

-No really, I'd be totally fine with staying home tonight

-Are you SURE you don't want me to just cook something here?

-Seriously, I'm TIRED of SHOPPING

-I don't feel like trying on any shoes today, thanks.

-I'm not having any fun spending money

-Do we HAVE to leave town? Again?

Thank goodness life gets back to normal next week!

School's out. For. Summer!

2007-06-01T14:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the last day of school for my little ~~heathens~~ darlings. Already they have been in trouble no less than three times. And I haven't been around them for more than a three hour stint.

I spent the last day of school treating myself and a friend who is visiting from the Netherlands to fun stuff like tacos and pedicures and Starbucks.

The pedicure was do DIE for. I can't remember the last time that I've had one, but I do believe it needs to be a monthly occurrence. Between the massaging chairs and the lovely minty foot scrubs, I was in HEAVEN!

The Starbucks was delish as well. I tried their new orange creme frappacino. It was pretty good, but nothing compared to the caramel ones that I love so much.

After all of that, we had dinner then headed over to my dad's to sit in the hot tub. It was a perfect end to a perfect day. Then Redneck mom came down to pick up Foreign Friend (she's staying with them. She was an exchange student with them 6 years ago.), enlightened us on all the drama that is CB's youngest sibling and blew it all to heck.

So, we have no plans for tonight, then we have two graduation open houses to go to tomorrow. After that, we're hoping that the weather cooperates so we can get FF out on the lake.

What are you up to this weekend?

Scurvy Pirates are HOT!

2007-05-30T13:00:00.001-05:00

Friday night CB and I pawned the kids off on his mom and dad and headed to semi-civ for an evening of dining and a movie.

I have wanted to see one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in a theater since the first one came out. And since I get the sneaking suspicion this is a nice little bookend to the trilogy, I INSISTED that CB take me on a date to see At World’s End. We had been hearing horror stories all week about how the theaters were selling out! And selling tickets days before the movie opened! So, as soon as we got to semi-civ, I went in and bought our tickets for a later show. I had to wait in line for a whole two minutes before I walked back out with them in hand. Then we headed over to the Home Depot because I have not yet wasted enough of my life in that store and CB needed more things for TRPTWNE (The remodeling project that will not end for you new people) ’07. I spent most of the 45 minutes we were in the store drooling over paint colors. We are painting almost every room in our house this summer, so I was trying to decide which color went best where and did I really want white sand as opposed to white shore? CB finally decided that he had enough screws, tools, and nails to finish the project, so we left there and headed over to Applebee’s for dinner. It was delicious as always and I left feeling a little tipsy and a LOT stuffed.

We made our way into the theater, where they had not allowed anyone into the actual theaters yet. I got a little glimpse of what all the fuss was about because there was a TON of people standing in the lobby waiting to get in. CB and I got to the end of the line just as they let everyone in. By the time we got into the theater, the place was PACKED. I had forgotten that it was only a PG-13 movie, which meant that every little 13 year old was, like, totally without their parents at the movie—which is, like, totally cool. We finally found crappy seats on the side two rows from the front and one row in front of three little boys that must have just gotten their swearing license because every other word out of their mouth was the F-bomb. They were ridiculously annoying, but thankfully stopped talking during the movie.

Now, usually when I go to the theater I am freezing. So, I planned as such and dressed warmly. This was stupid because all the body heat in there had made it feel like we were in a tropical local. I hadn’t been smart enough to wear layers, so I just tried not to move too much since every time I did heat escaped from my sweatshirt and right into my face.

The MOVIE! It was amazing! Even from crappy seats sweating my butt off, the two hours and forty-seven minutes flew by. I LOVED it. I totally want to see it again. And again and again.

Can I just say how insanely hot Johnny Depp is in this movie? Although I had his posters from Tiger Beat on my walls when I was little, I never really thought he was that good looking. But holy hell, throw some ratty dreads and rotten teeth on the man and it’s all I can do not to drool. Even Orlando is hot! I’ve never liked him at all. I think he looks like he’s twelve. Only not in this movie. He’s marginally bad ass in it and I think THAT’s what made him hot.

If you are planning on going to see it, I highly recommend the movie. And, as always with these movies, make sure you stay until the end of the credits as there’s an awesome little surprise at the end. That’s the part that I saw Orlando in and was like “dang. I get it now!”

Now I'm Freeeee/Freee birthin'

2007-05-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

I happened across an article on MSN yesterday that was talking about the latest trend in labor and delivery of children. “Free birthing” is a supposedly “empowering” birth experience without medical intervention (read the article here if you’re curious). Seriously, it’s legal as long as YOU are the one that catches YOUR baby. It becomes illegal if an untrained husband or friend assists in any way.

This absolutely boggles my mind! Now, we are getting pretty close to six years since the last time I had any labor pains whatsoever. But the pain is still fresh in my mind. It is certainly NOT something I would want to do all by MYSELF! Seriously, who has the wherewithal during delivery to actually deliver your own baby? I couldn’t even remember how to breathe, let alone how to do the whole thing all by myself!

So what’s your take on it? Would you do it, Ladies? I know that women have been giving birth for thousands of years without medical assistance, but the thought of doing the whole thing all alone is frightening to me. And it sounds dangerous!

Blogaversary!

2007-05-24T10:34:00.001-05:00

I didn't even pay attention, but as of yesterday it's been one year since I moved in here at Glamorous Redneck!

I can't even begin to describe how much fun y'all have made my little corner of the interweb! I've made so many cool "friends" here. I've laughed, cried, and complained with the best of the best.

I just want to thank all of you for stopping by each and every day. For taking time to comment on my ramblings. And most of all, for being YOU! I hope you all have as much fun here as I do at your blogs.

So, happy Blogaversary to me!

Dancing with GR

2007-05-23T11:15:00.001-05:00

On Saturday night Diva and I packed up and headed over to the High School to hang out until it was time for the Recital. Once the crowd started filtering in, I started getting a little nervous. But Diva was just as excited as can be. She was READY. TO. PERFORM!

I settled in a seat at the way back of the auditorium so as to be able to make a quick exit when our turn to dance came. The first three dances went on and then it was Diva and her class’ turn. They were adorable. It was their tap first and they did it to “Born to Hand Jive.” Diva even threw in a little improve and—according to several other people—stole the show. I got a little choked up at the end of the dance.

I didn’t think I’d be so emotional, but dang that girl has dancing in her veins. You can see it in her eyes while she’s smiling and spinning and tapping her way through the routine. And I was just so proud of my little girl dancing in the front row!

A few more dances came and went and before we knew it, it was our turn to show off what we’d spent the last nine months learning. As we were standing backstage, I had a brief moment of “What the hell was I thinking?”, but once the curtains flew open and the music started, I was having a blast! Everyone screamed for us when our dance was over. And while I think it was mostly because our dance teacher was out there and no one has seen her dance on stage in years, I’m so not above saying that we got the loudest applause of the night.

It felt like such a huge accomplishment to be standing there as the curtains closed. Afterwards, we had so many people come up to us and say how brave we were and how awesome we’d done. And I think I even recruited a couple more people for the class next year.

Now we take a break for the summer. It was an unbelievable nine months filled with frustration and excitement and it all culminated with this hugely rewarding feeling of “Holy crap, I learned and performed a TAP DANCE!”

So, if you've been secretly wishing all your life to take dance classes, check around and see if any studios offer adult classes. Because you're never too old to dance! Besides, if I can do it, anyone can!

Glamorous Embarrassing Moments

2007-05-22T11:03:00.000-05:00

So Friday we hopped on the extremely cramped bus and drove a little over an hour to a little town called Sandborn. There we traveled to a farm place where the guy authentically built sod houses (using the actual tool and everything) with the exception of adding a rubber inlay so as to save himself the trouble of having to rebuild them every five years or so.

These houses were insanely small. So small that I don’t think I’d be able to get all of my clothes inside of it and still have room to move, let alone live there with four other people who only bathed once a week. There is also what’s called a “soddie”, or a rich person’s version of the sod house. It’s a bit bigger, and you can actually stay in it. Seriously, they’ve set it up as a bed and breakfast! People actually pay money to dress in pioneer clothes, have no electricity, and no running water. Crazy, I say! But it was done up really nicely and unless you looked up and saw all the branches holding the roof together, you’d never notice that you’re in a house built out of dirt. Needless to say it was a very educationally awesome stop.

The next stop was a town called Walnut Grove. This was evidently one of the multiple places Laura Ingalls and her family lived whilst she was growing up. Her book On the Banks of Plum Creek is set along a pretty little creek (Plum Creek, if you can believe it) just a mile or so outside of the town. We started out there, walking over to where Laura’s dugout was located and where the table top mountain is, then down to the Big Rock where she’d watch the cattle go by (if you’re a nerd like me and have read the books a frillion times, you’ll know just what I’m talking about.).

After that, we headed back into town where the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum is. They have all sorts of fun things like replicas of the school house, another sod house, a church, and Grandma’s House. They also have the actual mantle that was inside the Ingalls residence on the TV show.

Inside the gift shop they had cool things like pioneer clothes you could by, old TV memorabilia (including a Bionic Woman lunch pail thermos. I have no idea what that has to do with LIW, but it was a cool find nonetheless.), and authentic toys and candy. CJ bought himself and Diva some marbles, a little toy where you try and get the ball into the cup, and a rock candy sucker.

We headed back home and CJ was sufficiently appreciative of how easy we have it now. He had no idea how kids managed to survive without Play Station 2.

But the best story happens to come from the sod houses at Sanborn. CJ’s teacher informed all of us chaperones that we needed to walk in front of our group of kids. I had been walking behind because I figured this would be the easiest way to keep an eye on them all. So, when she said to get in front of them, I stepped off the little gravel path to try and sneak up in front of them. However, I tripped over something in the grass. While I’m usually pretty good at recovering from a trip (I do this quite often), I couldn’t recover from this one. So three stumbling steps later I landed with a big ol’ THUD and my face in the grass. The kids all thought it was funny and I hurt nothing but my pride. The rest of the day my little group of kids kept making sure that I was in front of them. I told them I was just trying to prove why it’s so very important to STAY ON THE DAMN PATH!!!

So there you have it, a Glamorous Redneck embarrassing moment. But hey, I never said I was Graceful.

When going back to work feels like a vacation. . .

2007-05-21T10:05:00.000-05:00

It's sad when I breathe a little sigh of relief as I walk into the silent (and windowless) office space I call my job. I never thought I'd be so happy to be sitting here. Alone. No one to talk to. It's bliss, I tell you! Bliss!

A brief rundown of the week that was:

Wednesday: I ended up having to work later than I normally do, so I rushed around like a mad woman trying to get everything done before dance class. Sucked.

Thursday: Instead of going to the funeral, I took my friends' kids so they could go to the funeral (they are our pastor & wife) and be available for the family. Which turned out to be a lot of fun. We went to the park and they entertained my own kids for hours on end.

Friday: The field trip was awesome. I never realized there was so much cool stuff in these little Podunk towns. However, this day deserves its own entry, so that'll come tomorrow. Dress rehearsal went fine as did singing in the park.

Saturday: CB got the floor on the back porch! We now have two doors to the outside world that are again fully functional! Except now he has to redo the steps because there was too big of a jump. Which made for a very crabby CB. This is a theme that continued for the rest of the weekend. The recital was AWESOME! Talk about a feeling of accomplishment. This one also is deserving of its own entry. (Wow! Fodder for multiple posts! How will I EVER survive?)

Sunday: The baby shower was super fun. Good food and fun conversations. I do enjoy the cheesy shower games, but there is something to be said for just eating, opening presents and socializing.

So there you have it. I'm glad that this week has considerably less on the agenda. I don't think I'd be able to take two weeks like that in a row!

Adventures in Gardening

2007-05-16T10:21:00.000-05:00

The thyroid drugs have given me a much needed energy boost. I no longer spent each day living for the next opportunity to sleep. In fact, I can barely fall asleep at night and am waking up before my alarm. After spending the majority of my life NEVER waking up without pushing the snooze button at least once, this is a new feeling and I’m not entirely sure if I like it or not.

So, in my new burst of energy there was this hidden Suzie Homemaker boost. I’ve suddenly decided to do things like “cook meals from scratch” and “drive a mini-van”. But perhaps the strangest new development is my desire to "have a garden". My Aunt is practically a professional gardener. I’ve tried several times to have little flower gardens with marginal success. I don’t know why I do this. I hate the whole “weeding” business and cannot even keep houseplants alive for more than a month, because I conveniently forget to water them.

Last week I got a wild hair and went to the nursery for some plants. Marigolds, snap dragons, pansies and impatiens have all been grown before with mixed results at Casa de la Glamorous. But then I decided to buy some tomato plants because I a) know absolutely nothing about growing vegetables! and b) hate tomatoes! However, I do love me some salsa, and the thought of being able to make my own salsa held some appeal to me. And, with this whole healthy eating kick I’ve been on, I’ve decided that I need to try to like some more healthy stuff. I used to love cherry tomatoes when I was little, but then I discovered things like Mochaccino M&M’s and DiGiorno stuffed crust pizzas and my secret recipe Chocolate Chip Cookies and all those healthy things sort of jumped down to the very bottom of the list. So, I’ve planted three different types of tomatoes: one for salsa, one for cooking, and one for eating raw.

Yesterday, I totally thought I had killed them all off. We had 90’s for temperatures on Sunday and Monday, and then the temperature dropped down to 68 yesterday. All my poor little plants were kind of wilting and looked half dead. So, I hauled out my trusty watering can, mixed some Miracle Gro in and tried to revive them all. Lo and behold, this morning they are all looking oh-so-perky and may have some new blossoms on them. I’m waiting not so patiently for the snap dragons to bloom because they are my favorite to play with.

So, once the plants get some more pretties on them, I’ll be sure to post pictures (including a montage of how I play with snap dragons in case you’re thinking I’m a freak. Which if your just thinking it now, you’re probably reading for the first time, so Hello! Welcome!!).

Any well-seasoned gardeners out there that want to share advice would be forever on my favorite people list.

Glamorous Runaround

2007-05-15T09:36:00.001-05:00

Remember in that last entry when I was all “Don’t get married in May unless you want to share your anniversary with everyone and their mother?” Case in point: Here is how I will be spending the week up to and including our anniversary:

Last night (Monday)-Take Diva to summer dance class. Help friend with Girl Scouts tea party. Which was too much fun for me. It was so cute to hear the little girls using their manners “Please pass the tea pot? Why thank you!”

Tonight-Music practice for church. Also have to squeeze my work out in and clean my now officially haz-mat house.

Wednesday-Need to get to Semi-Civ for things needed for Sunday. Also have last dance practice before recital.

Thursday-Funeral for a friend’s sister that passed away. Maybe Bible Study, which takes up most of the night.

Friday-Field trip with CJ for the day. Then dress rehearsal for the dance recital. Then singing at a Relay for Life event in a neighboring town. Then collapse on bed from exhaustion.

Saturday-Recital!!! Hair, makeup, costumes will probably take up much of the afternoon.

Sunday (our anniversary)-Church, then prep for Baby Shower!!! I’ll maybe see my husband somewhere around dinner time.

So, as you can see, it’s mostly fun stuff, but this is always how my month of May looks. Every year. And, actually, I seem to have one or two things added each time.

I’m really glad we had last weekend to go out. CB took me to this awesome Greek restaurant in Semi-Civ where we dined on our inaugural hummus appetizer. I was surprised at how good the stuff is! We had pita chips to dip in it and then were brought a basket of warm pita bread too. The food was all delicious and I do believe we’ve found a replacement for our usual Applebee’s date!

Stay tuned tomorrow for some Glamorous Redneck gardening tips!

The one without a purpose

2007-05-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

See me? See me going on my little hiatus again? Yeah, I’m good at that.

So we got the mini van, and every little twinge of ick I feel about it melts away when CJ looks at me and says “Mommy, I’m SO HAPPY we have a van!” OK, so I still kinda cringe when I get in it, but it’s only as uncool as you let it be. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it be even the least bit uncool. The good qualities certainly outweigh the bad, and while I’m quite content to drive around in a little car (a Pontiac Solstice or Mustang would suit me just fine, thankyouverymuch), I’ve got a bunch of tall people in my family. CB is 6’ 4”, and (thankfully) the kids have taken after him in the height department (which makes me insanely jealous of Diva’s legs because they go on FOREVER and she’s only 5), but that means that everyone else in the fam is cramped whilst I am completely content in something smaller. So, like I said. Mini van = Good thing. Carrie’s Ego – Mini Van + Children’s happiness = I’ll get over it.

The week in a nutshell:

- Our anniversary is on the 20th, but that weekend is packed full of dress rehearsal, dance recital (which I am dancing at too!) and a baby shower, so we’re celebrating our 7th anniversary a week early. Without much pomp and circumstance (read: Dinner and shopping), but May is always so insanely busy (warning to all you unmarried peeps: DO NOT GET MARRIED IN MAY! Unless you don’t mind sharing your anniversary with field trips, birthday parties, and graduation ceremonies.) and then we’ll continue our progress on TRPTWNE 2007.

- I’ve decided to start gardening. So I got all my pretty flowers (along with some tomato plants) put in the ground last night, and it was much harder than I remembered it. But then I spent Wednesday pulling weeds and Tiger Lilies out of the flower bed. And trees! I’ve never seen so many little trees take up root in a flower garden. Then again, we have left the outside of our house untouched in the almost four years we’ve lived here.

- The weather has finally been highly cooperative. After having a garage sale in torrential rain last weekend, Mother Nature has rewarded us with blissfully sunny and 85 degree days. Heaven! Until the mosquitoes come out. . .

So that’s pretty much it. Highly uneventful, but that’s the way it goes. Only 15 more days of school and then I should have LOTS of fun stories of people watching at the various summer rec activities.

Seasons

2007-05-04T10:49:00.001-05:00

When I moved out here to Podunk, I was the only new kid in the school. The rest of the kids had been together since Kindergarten. Needless to say, it was a little tough to make new friends.

But, in the years since, more and more people have been moving into the area. And we’ve seen a lot of out of state plates. A surprising amount from California. I want to scream to them “Turn around! Go back from whence you came!” to save them the trouble of first winters and mosquitoes the size of small birds. At the same time, I have to admire them because those of us that are smart spend a good season of our lives in California, but get out before we become jaded and oblivious to the realness of life on the outside of permanent sunshine and perfect weather.

There was a song back in about 99 or so that talked about living in SoCal once, but leaving before it makes you soft, and I think that’s really true. When you spend a long time there, things that normal people deal with every day become foreign. You become accustomed to breaking out the winter coats when the temperature dips below 60 degrees. You become unappreciative of the history and architecture surrounding the missions and museums. And of the size and organization of things like the Wild Animal Park and the San Diego Zoo.

So while part of me screams at them to get out while they still can, another part of me wants to tell them how much more appreciative one becomes of the things we take for granted when we get a glimpse of the “outside world”. We can appreciate the time we spent there, and hold it up on a pedestal for the whole world to see. But we can also hold it in our hearts as a great time in our lives, both grateful for the opportunity and thankful to be out of there.

Because when you’ve been there and are gone, you don’t have to remember the things like hostage situations that didn’t let you get home to your mom. Or two hour commutes that are only 20 miles long. Or not being able to find a place on the beach to park your towel. You can instead appreciate the days when you cruised down the PCH with the windows down and music blaring. And when you lucked out and found your own little piece of sand that no one else knew existed. You can close your eyes and see the sunsets without remembering that time you sat on a red ant hill.

A friend reminded me this week that there are seasons of life and “you can do anything for a season.” And she’s right. So, I’m looking at this whole mini van business as a season. One which will not last forever. That will serve its purpose and not be all pretty and perfect. But I’ll look back on it years from now and remember only the good things about it. And maybe—just for a minute—I’ll long for the days of mini vans and spilled juice. Then I’ll roll the top down on my Mustang and appreciate the new season too.

OMFG

2007-05-02T18:35:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd have to type the words that will be following shortly. Never in a million years did I dream I would be even THINKING about this, let alone actually doing it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe I am buying a mini van.

Do you KNOW how bad it hurts to even TYPE that?!?!? I get verklempt randomly throughout the day even just thinking about it. You see, I had convinced everyone in this house that we did not need a mini van. Because, seriously, why does a family of 4 that is not growing need something suited for a family of 8? *I* am NOT a mini-van kind of person. Am much more Mini-Cooper kind of person. Beautious little cars that I don't feel like one of those little old ladies that look through the steering wheel when I drive it. And I'm FAR too glamorous for this nonsense! Give me a big ol' gas guzzling SUV any day of the week and I'm totally down with that. But a VAN? Surely you gest!

However, it does have an auto start button, so there's that. I'm trying to be positive about the whole thing. Plus, the fact that CJ is already almost as tall as me and getting somewhat scrunched in the back seat of the Glamourmobile du jour is only going to get worse in the coming years. And it will be nice to be able to just go and grab their friends for birthday parties and take them up to the cities. Or something like that. If I'm desparate. And have a death wish.

A bit of a quandry

2007-05-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

When I first saw the movie Grease, I was about three years old. Maybe older, but "You're the One that I Want" has been ingrained into my head for as long as I can remember. And it's been one of my top ten movies since those days.

For Christmas one year, my mom took me into DC to see Grease on stage. It was fabulous. A little different from the movie, but still fantastic. After we walked out of that show, I swore that if I ever had a chance to be involved, I would try out for a stage version of my favorite movie.

Then we went to see it again this past November. And it cemented my resolve to someday be my favorite character (believe it or not, Rizzo is my favorite)on stage. But, we live in an area where the culture doesn't so much exist.

So imagine my surprise when I saw that the community theater in a town just 30 miles from us will be putting on Grease this summer. Tryouts are in about three weeks. When I think about even getting the chance, I get little butterflies in my stomach. I mean, it's probably a frillion to one odds that I'd be cast as Rizzo--it is a college town with a pretty strong theater arts program--but even to just be a part of it is a dream come true.

But here's where the problem lies: The kids don't want me to do it because it would probably take up a lot of my time for rehearsals and such. I don't know that I have the time to dedicate to it. It's 60 miles round trip, and with gas getting to that dreaded $3 mark right now, one can only imagine what the price will be this summer. So I don't think CB will go for it either. I haven't even talked to him about it.

What do you think? Do I go for it anyway and point out to the kids that there's really not THAT much time taken up? Or do I wait for the chance somewhere else down the line? Word on the street is that the choir director here in Podunk has hopes of starting up a community theater, but who knows if Grease would ever be there?

Springtime, the only pretty ring time. Birds sing, hey ding!

2007-04-27T14:38:00.000-05:00

Some signs that spring has sprung up here in Podunk:

-The last little corner of snow that stayed in my yard has officially disappeared!

-The dead grass that CB left to get too long last fall stands out like an elephant on a motorcycle what with all the pretty green stuff sprouting up underneath.

-Dandelions have made their presence known in many a yard

-The weather has held a 60 degree high day and an 80 degree high day. In the space of a week.

And my favorite signs that Spring is here:

-CB has started yet another (and final big project! Yay!) remodeling project that will not end. He has been threatened with bodily harm if this one is not done in a month.

-When the kids have spent any amount of time under trees or in long grass, they must strip so as to make it easier for me CB to check them over for ticks.

-I have my first official mosquito bite. Oh the joys.

Back in My Day. . .

2007-04-26T10:54:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much things have changed since I was a kid. And the fact that so much has changed in such a short time just blows my mind. Just think:

1987: Cars were considered top of the line if they came from the factory equipped with a tape deck. Average cars were sold with an 8-Track.

2007: Cars are considered top of the line if they come from the factory equipped with a 6-disc CD changer. Average cars are sold with a single CD player

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1987: When you were the secretary at the office, you spent most of your day hunched over a typewriter, praying that you typed everything right so that you didn’t have to start all over again.

2007: The secretary at the office spends most of his/her day staring at the computer screen, general knowledge of spelling and grammar has gone down the toilet thanks to a little thing called spelling/grammar check.

**********

1987: The Barbie on everyone’s Christmas list was Executive Barbie (you know, the one that had a reversible three piece suit that changed for her evening date with Ken) or Doctor Barbie. Girls aspired to be those things and every girl wanted to grow up to be the first woman president.

2007: There aren’t Barbies on everyone’s Christmas list. It’s Bratz. The shorter the skirt and the darker the makeup, the better the doll. Executive and Office Bratz are unheard of. More fun is Genie or Sleepover Bratz (skimpy outfits of course). Girls aspire to be those things and most girls want to grow up to be the next Paris Hilton or Mischa Barton.

***********

1987: Songs were mostly about love, partying and heartbreak. Sexual innuendoes were there, but concealed enough that a seven year old would not pick up on them.

2007: Songs are mostly about sex, partying and hookups. Sexual innuendoes are so obvious that if I’m not careful, I have a five year old asking me what “sexy” is.

Can you think of any other things that have changed so drastically in the past 20 years?

Five more Glamorous Questions

2007-04-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of The Superstar:

1. How has having children changed your life? Sheesh, it would be easier to answer how they HAVEN’T changed my life! I love more, I cry more, I laugh more, my patience gets tested more and I worry about the future more. They took my perfect little unorganizedly-organized world and turned it all upside down. And I love every single second of it!

2. If you could choose one place to raise your family other than the place you are now, where would it be? (you can't say that Podunk is Perfect and you wouldn't choose any other place. That ruins the fun!) I would NEVER say that Podunk is perfect. There are good and bad things about living everywhere. And even though San Diego is home and I would love for them to experience the childhood I was given out there, if I could pick ANYWHERE to raise them, I’d pick Northern Virginia. There is so much history out there (most of it within a two hour drive from where I lived when I was there) and I think you get a greater education from actually seeing things like the Civil War battlefields and the Holocaust museum than you can get from any old classroom textbook.

3. What is your movie guilty pleasure? Something you should never admit to watching much less loving... but you're going to anyway? ;) Hmm. . .that’s a tough one because pretty much every movie that I love has a severe cheese factor. The first ones that come to mind are the Princess Diaries movies. But, suffice to say that if you know of a movie that absolutely tanked at the box office, odds are that I own it and may or may not cry at the end of it. *ahem*

4. If you could pick one person in your life who has had the most influence on you and who you've become, who would it be and why? Probably my grandma. She taught me how to appreciate everyone, love unconditionally, get down on the floor and play with you kids (or grandkids), keep a grip on your passions (the ones that are your own, you know before Mr. Wonderful came along), and live each and every day like it’s your last one here on this earth.

5. What is that one song, that no matter where you are and what you're doing, you have to stop everything, turn it up, and sing at the top of your lungs, dancing along? Oh boy, you’re really trying to embarrass me with this one, aren’t you? ;) Music is so huge in my life that it’s more like a group of songs from stages in my life that make me crank up the radio (like 80’s Hair Bands from driving to the beach with my mom) (or SWV / Mary J. Blige / Boyz II Men from 7th grade rollerskating on Saturday nights) (or Nirvana from my 8th / 9th grade grunge phase). But if I have to pick ONE song, it has to be Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer”. It’s stupid, I know, but you have to know the story: I remember putting on a concert for our parents with my apartment friends at 5 years old, playing a footstool for a drum, BEING Bon Jovi, and lip-synching to that song. Every time I hear it, it brings me back to that time. The awesomeness of innocence and youth. Long before things like moving, divorce, or death had stripped away all of that.

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So there you have it. Five more things about me that you probably didn’t need to know. But seriously, I would blog every day if I had fun questions like this to answer! I’ll extend the offer again, that if you want to be interviewed, just comment here and I’ll come up with some questions for you!

The Reveal

2007-04-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

You know, I haven't even talked about how fantastic our weather has been lately. Just two Mondays ago it had snowed--again--and it was freezing cold out. Now, the crappy sub-par temperatures have melted away into glorious spring days. We've spent every extra moment outside enjoying it and on Tuesday CB and I bought a decent sized grill to replace the little Hibatchi charcoal grill we'd been using for years. He's so very happy that I'm pretty sure he teared up a little.

These season changes remind me of just how much I love living in this state. Every crappy winter day makes me appreciate these awesome spring days even more. I love the way the seasons melt together before fully becoming their own. And I love the anticipation of the next season coming. Even though I hate winter with a fiery passion, I can't help but fall in love with that very first snowfall, or the way that it sparkles on the ground at night. And I hate humidity almost more than I hate winter, but those lazy summer days spent at the lake or having water balloon fights in the lawn are irreplaceable. So, I take the good with the bad, and try to remember why I love each and every season.

Now, the pictures. Here's the before (me trying to look pathetic. I'm all "Hello, not so Glamorous right now. Am much more Redneck. Plz fix.):
And then, 45 minutes and a whole lotta styling products later, the after:
Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of the back of your own head?!

Like I said before, I LOVE it. Only I don't know how to do it myself! I'll have to play more this weekend. So what do you think? Cute, right? :)

Can You Hear Me Now?

2007-04-19T12:29:00.000-05:00

I’m starting to get a complex. I’ve emailed like three different people in the space of the last few days and haven’t heard anything back from any of them. Add to that a couple of other phone calls I’ve made that are unreturned and you’ll see the beginnings of the complex. Did I really contact these people? Or was it just that I dreamt about calling them or emailing them and then didn’t do it (which has happened before)? Am I in some freaky bubble where nothing is real and I’m left without any contact to the outside world????

In other news, I went through with the haircut. I’m at work now, though so no pictures for you. But I’ve been getting nothing but raving compliments on it from everyone I’ve talked to, so YAY! I feel like I was on my own mini-version of What Not to Wear (seriously someone NOMINATE ME for the damn show. I can take the criticism. I promise. K thx). Except I’ve still got the same crappy clothes and no new makeup. And I didn’t get to have a reveal party or go to NYC. OK, so maybe it was more like just a mini-makeover. I had to come home and re-do my makeup because I needed to look like a rockstar. Now, if Stacy and Clinton will just come knock on my door and sweep me off for my new wardrobe, my life will be complete.

Also, I happened across this incredibly, insanely funny website courtesy of Amalah’s post about her cat. So, if you’re looking for some procrastination (and are either in a room alone or with people who will understand random bursts of laughter), head on over to I Can Has Cheezburger. It’s freaking hilarious.

Update:I just went to I Can Has Cheezburger and they're down for a couple of days. SO don't go there today. But totally bookmark it. :)

Guilty Pleasures

2007-04-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

So I have a little confession to make. I am obsessed with ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. I know it's odd and no one else that I've talked to watches it (other than my mom, which says a lot about the demographic that probably does watch it. Perhaps I need to frequent bridge clubs to find someone to discuss with.).

AI didn’t do it for me this year (mostly because I’m boycotting in support of my awesomely talented friend The Superstar was passed over by stupid AI producers who don’t know talent when they see it.), so I have turned all my obsessions to this fantastic show. Plus I may or may not still harbor a crush for the hottie that once was known as Steve Sanders. Ahem.

It’s been so long since I’ve actually “had” a TV show. In fact, I can’t think of one since Friends and Sex and the City ended. Because those were the last two shows that made me pause my whole entire life until they were over with. And now, thank you interweb, I don’t have to pause. I can procrastinate at work whilst watching last night’s episode on line.

But I do have a problem with the stupid results show (any results show for that matter). I HATE how they drag the whole thing out way longer than it needs to be. I despise the guest singers and the pointless pimping of their new albums. The best part of the DWTS results is Jimmy Kimmel and his dance partner/custodian Guillermo demonstrating one of the dances for the next week. I die laughing each and every time! Really, they could do all of this in 10 minutes or less. And I know it’s all about the $$$$ and exposure for the network, but it still bothers me.

In other news, I’m finally getting my haircut today. Like, getting a “style” so it’s not just nothing like it is now. Stay tuned for before and after photos. Unless it really sucks, which you’ll know because I’ll go all Britney and shave my head. I will, however, have much better taste in wigs.

5 Questions

2007-04-16T15:24:00.000-05:00

I saw this meme over at Mr. Fab's blog and I couldn't resist getting a chance for the Fabulous one himself to interview me. The following questions are what I got:

1. You have lived most of your life in California and Minnesota, two states not known for rednecks. So what's with the moniker?

The moniker comes from a little inside joke that some friends and I have about living out here. It’s a tiny little town that completely shuts down on huntin’ opener and it’s completely acceptable for kids to miss a day of school (by kids I mean about half the male population and several of the girls) in order to drive “up north” to kill Bambi.

The Glamorous part of my name is the part that suits me. I’m a big city girl. Always have been, and no matter where I live, I always will be a big city girl. I’m all about Old Hollywood, and the high class associated with it.

So I’m my own oxymoron. (For a more detailed description, go here: Why Glamorous Rednek?)

2. You were born during the Year of the Sheep. Does that qualify for discounts on wool?
I was? The plates at the Chinese restaurants always tell me I was born in the year of the monkey. And no, as far as I know it does not give me discounts on wool (nor did being a monkey give me discounts on bananas)

3. When the alien overlords come down and begin pulverizing us with giant metal hammers, what will be your argument to them for letting you live?

Will they even FIND me out here? I don’t know, I’m cute? Because only I will be able to explain both small and big city life to their scientists.

4. You live in Minnesota. Doesn't it creep you out living that close to Canada?

Not too much. The only thing that freaks me out about living up here is the accent. Seriously it’s the weirdest sounding accent in the entire country (well, except maybe Boston’s)

5. You have a boy and a girl. Which gender do you think it is easier to raise?

Boys are definitely easier than girls. Not to say I don’t love both of my kids equally, but when it was just CJ, I was like “Psssh, this parenting thing is easy!” Then Diva came along and brought all the chaos and the drama (Oh, the DRAMA! Everything is the END. OF. THE. WORLD.!) that comes along with having a little girl. I’ve been told that as they grow up, things kind of flip flop.

But then I look at me & my brother and it’s completely opposite. I was easy (this is according to my mom, not just my own assumptions) and my brother is a pain in the arse.

However, the general consensus in conversations I’ve had with other moms seems to be that, yes, boys are easier than girls.

Wanna Play?

Just leave me a comment saying "Interview ME!" and I'll either email or post on your blog 5 questions. Then let me know when you've got it up so that I can check out your answers. :)

My First Car

2007-04-13T09:36:00.001-05:00

Eleven years ago—right around this time—my grandpa called my mom to let her know that he’d found a car for me. When Mom hung up the phone with him, she told me the news and told me that it was a Bug (that’s what Grandpa had said). “Woo Hoo!” thought I. I’ve always loved Volkswagen Beetles, so I was ecstatic at the thought of getting one of my own. He told Mom that he’d be home in a couple of hours & we could come take a look at it.

However, when I got there, I found this*:

Which is not this:

“What IS this thing?” I fumed to the adults.

“Well, I guess it’s a Chevy Chevette,” replied my mom.

This did not a happy Glamorous Redneck make. Not only was it NOT a Bug, but it had 4 doors! Like a family sedan! Gack! I will so NOT be cool when all my friends see this. Plus, I’m a Ford Girl (make fun if you must but YOU WILL NOT CHANGE ME), so the fact that it was a CHEVY was enough to make me hurl. And on top of all of it *I* had to pay my grandpa $500 for this POS.

“Whatever,” I finally answered. I mean it WAS a vehicle. It did give me freedom to not rely on my parents for transportation anymore, so I was game.

I came to learn that this was a car with character. When I was finally able to get my license (in July, not January because of when I had to take driver’s ed), I wasn’t allowed to take the stupid thing out of town. It would randomly do things like flood when I stopped and just quit running as I was driving down the street. Worst of all, only one of the speakers—which happened to be in the back on the passenger’s side) worked. I basically told everyone that I was NOT paying for this car anymore unless they fixed it for me (seriously I have NO IDEA where Diva gets her flair for the dramatic). My dad thought he could fix the stereo problem, so one Saturday afternoon he took it all apart, only to find that he couldn’t fix it, and had instead killed the entire system. I was livid to say the least. So, I stole his little radio from the garage and planted it in between the driver’s seat & the passenger’s seat.

I don’t remember why, but my mom finally decided to let me drive the car out of town. When I was about 10 miles out, the speedometer quit working. Like would not move from 0. And I drove it like this for almost a year without being pulled over! Then the horn stopped working. THEN I was in a hurry one day and didn’t realize I’d already turned my blinker on & ended up breaking the blinker thing-y off, so I had to jam my thumb up inside the steering column to use my signals. It sucked.

When winter came around (yes, this was all in the first 6 months of having this car), I gave up on the thing and told the parental units that I was not driving it anymore, and they would either have to let me take their car or they would have to play chauffer. I figured this would get me a new one because I worked at a bakery & had to be to work by 4:00 on Saturday mornings. My plan was foiled and instead of getting a new car, they just paid to get all the things wrong on the ‘Vette fixed. So I was stuck with it.

I drove the car (which my friends and I had dubbed “The Stylin’ Black Bug” or “Bessie” depending on how she was behaving) until the June after I graduated. Then my parents upgraded their car & I got their old one.

But that was an awesome first car, not without it’s good memories (like going into a ditch backwards and having two drunk guys have to pull me out) (or locking my keys in the car and having The Ex come and break into it for me). And it has made me fully appreciate the cars that I’ve had afterwards. Now, I almost wish we would have held onto it because it got awesome gas mileage and would have made an awesome beater car for CB to drive to and from work.

So, what was your first car? Did you love it? Do you still have it?

*(also, let us discuss for a minute the hideousness of this fashion choice. I call it "2 grunge 4 U" my entire wardrobe from 1994-1996 consisted of various colors of this outfit. Oh, and one skirt, which was totally hot. Also, do you see the skinniness? I want to strangle 16 year old me and say "You WERE skinny, you FREAK! Now wear some damn girl clothes! I should also discuss the hair, which I had dyed a month before this picture and had been green for awhile before it faded. And I do believe I had just gotten off work & so my hair was matted down from all the donut grease.)

She's baaaa-aaack!

2007-04-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

SO it’s been just over a month since I last posted, and I was debating whether or not to even do this again. Do I want to get back into the blogging thing? I guess I never *really* stopped because I was still checking all the blogs over ----> there. I just don’t have anything of importance to write about. There is not much of interest going on in the casa de Glamorous. We’ve been filling our time with dance practices, school informances (basically a spring concert, but only your kid’s grade. So instead of going to one thing for three hours to see your kid sing for two minutes, you have to go to two things to listen to your kid and his/her classmates sing, dance, and play xylophones for a good half hour. Still not sure if I like this or not.), and drooling over my rockstar of a husband. He made his debut two weeks ago at church and he’s all over it now. Next he wants to tackle the lead guitar. And then I will pass out and die because holy Hannah, I am married to a flipping GUITARIST!

I found out that I have an under-active thyroid, so I’ve been on drugs for that, which—hello!—I didn’t realize I needed because everyone kept telling me it’s normal to feel as tired as I did with two kids. I thought they were foolish because yes, when you have two kids under the age of two it is entirely acceptable to be totally and utterly exhausted all the time. But when they are almost 8(!) and 6(!), there is no excuse for needing 10 hours of sleep each night. I was also unaware of the whole “cranky” kick I’d been on, until I read the symptoms to CB and he was like “Uh, yeah. Ya think?” OK, so maybe I’ve been a little on edge. But! The drugs! Are good! They make a less cranky/tired/puffy Glamorous Redneck. In fact, I wish I’d known about this 6 months ago when I started not fitting into my jeans (which are now falling off! Huzzah!). I might not have committed to trying to train with overactive friends that are going to run a half marathon. Of which I participated in two days of their training before I was like “Now I remember why I hate running. So good luck with that. I’ll cheer for you on the sidelines!” Because I hate the whole “exercise” thing. I don’t do well with “sweating” or “achy legs” or any of those sorts of things. Unless it’s fun, which is why I love dancing so much.

Also on a slightly interesting note, The Ex may be coming back into my life. I got a completely random email from him on Friday and after being an ass and assuming the worst of him, found out that his family is relocating back to the area. Since then I’ve been kicking myself for being a jerk because I’m the Annoying Optimist. It’s my job to assume the good in everyone until they prove otherwise. But I’m excited to get to know him & his family and can’t wait for our kids to hang out!

So, that’s about the extent of my life. I make no apologies for not being here for the past month, because I think it was the break that I needed. I’ve got more history to review, if for nothing else than for me to have it written down when I’m 80 so my great-grandkids can find this website and be like “damn, the Glamorous Great-Grandma was COOL!”

Gory Goodness

2007-03-10T11:10:00.000-06:00

Last night we dropped the kids off with the Redneck Parents (CB's fam) and headed off to see the movie 300. I knew it was going to be a gorefest, but I am obsessed with all things ancient Greek, so I was game.

Even though I knew it was going to be bloody, I was not prepared for all the beheadings. Which I can totally appreciate because it's authentic, but I spent a good ten minutes of the movie with my eyes covered. Yeesh.

So, if you can get past the fake blood, I highly recommend this movie. It's got a tish of a romance feel to it with the relationship between King Leonitas and his queen, but it's full of reminders about what it's really like to love your country and to want to fight for what you believe in.

Sparta was a unique society without all the Hollywood-ness the book this movie was based on added to it, but for the first time in a long time, I actually appreciated the Hollywood-izing. For example, the Spartans went out to battle in just a cod piece and a cape (which makes for yummy eye candy, but anyone with even general knowledge of ancient Greece knows that the soldiers went out with some sort of armor. But, without the armor, you could really see the athleticism in their fighting style. Think part ballet, part javelin tosser. It was INSANE.

Add into it the yumminess that is Gerard Butler (along with 300 other half-naked muscle-bound men, and it is the epitome of a date movie. Action for the boys, eye candy and romance for the girls. All in all a great show.

Updates

2007-03-07T09:09:00.001-06:00

The snow storm is over, and we have cleared off most of the sidewalk. Which of course means that it will be 50 by the weekend and all this sparkly white stuff will melt BACK onto the sidewalks, turning them into one long ice skating rink. But it’s totally fine because that means that spring is almost here. Which means that soon the thermometer will jump back into my comfort range (70-85 degrees).

There’s been lots of things going on, but I’ve just had no motivation to blog whatsoever. But today, my boss is out of town for the week and my coworker is gone for the rest of this week, so I have NO WORK! Which means that you are all going to be bored to tears by my updating!

-We had our 50’s themed Valentine’s party. It was super fun! CB and I won first prize in the costume contest. He was dressed like Johnny Cash, and I had my poodle skirt, a shirt with a rhinestone C on it and black cat-eye glasses. I’ve only received one picture of us so far, but the lighting is bad in the restaurant and it was from a disposable camera. But if I think of it, I’ll scan it in. Hopefully I’ll get some better ones from my friend that planned it all.

-The digital camera is fantastic! We’ve taken more pictures in the past two weeks than we have in the past two years! When the first snowstorm hit, CB and I went driving around (seriously, this just makes me feel ancient. Because that’s what all the farmers do when the storm’s a comin’) and took pictures of the Minnesota River and some fun little landmarks we didn’t know existed. I was reminded of how truly beautiful this area is. If only the people’s attitudes matched the pristine landscape. . .

-We’ve been sledding like maniacs lately.

-On Sunday we went to another town to go see a guy named Rockie Lynne. He is a country singer that I hadn’t really heard of (but after he started singing, I realized I’ve heard a couple of his songs on the radio), and was in the area for a VFW benefit concert. We’ve got connections, so we scored VIP tickets. Which didn’t really mean anything other than we got to be inside the auditorium during sound check. But I can’t even begin to tell you how nice Rockie was. I had Diva and CJ (their first concert. Sniff. I’m so proud) with me, and after he was done with the sound check, he came down and talked to us. He asked Diva if the music was too loud and when she told him it was, he explained to her that they turn it up louder then because they want to make sure it doesn’t get any louder than that. Then throughout the concert, he kept checking with her to make sure she was doing OK. Diva had a little crush and kept staring at him with this star-crossed look in her eye. She also got a signed picture that says “[Diva], You can do anything! Love, Rockie” and she had a death grip on it for the rest of the night. We went right to the store after the concert and picked up a frame for it and she’s proudly got it on display on their craft table.

CJ also cleaned up. We were talking to all of the band members after the concert and the drummer ended up giving CJ a drumhead signed by everyone. He thought that was the greatest thing in the whole world and brought it for show and tell on Monday.

They both gave Rockie a big hug after the concert. I do believe that it was a life changing event for the two of them. CJ wants to grow his hair out so he looks like Rockie. Diva cannot wait to see him again.

She also thinks she’s ready for the big time concerts, but I told her that not everyone is this nice when you go to a show. But they should be! Rockie was so gracious and thankful that everyone had come to the concert and must have thanked everyone a million times. I wish you would see more of that. After all, aren’t the people in the crowd the people that are making the superstars all their money anyway?? I think you see it a lot more in country and rock than you do any other genre. Mostly because 90% of those guys have had to put in the long hours working their butts off in smoky dive bars before finally making it to the big time. Not like these pop princesses who just have to look good in a skirt and have a marginal voice.

All right, I guess that’s enough rambling for one day. I would say that I’m going to try and start posting more regularly again, but the last time I said that I didn’t post for another week, so I’m just not going to go there!

Updates

2007-03-07T09:09:00.000-06:00

Storm of the Century!!!!

2007-03-02T10:34:00.000-06:00

The second winter that I lived in Minnesota we got TONS of snow. The drifts that were made when the snowplow came through were taller than I am. But that all came over the course of the winter. Last Thursday, my backyard was bone dry. Then the big storm last weekend came through and it looked like this:
The picture looks kind of foggy because I took it out the bathroom window upstairs. (Also note the Redneck back porch that is our summer project). We got like eight inches of snow between Friday and Saturday. Which was awesome! We didn't have to go anywhere, so we took the kids (and ourselves) sledding. School was even on time.

Cut to Wednesday of this week. Our backs were still sore from shoveling the last go around (which was awesome snowman making snow because it was just the right consistancy. But it sucked for clearing because it was HEAVY!), when I happened to look on the internet and see that there was ANOTHER storm coming. The school let the kids out early in anticipation, and it was a good thing because by Wednesday night we had quite a bit.

It hasn't quit since. School was cancelled yesterday and today. The major highways out of this town are closed because they are impassable (sp? Is that even a word?). We are snowed in! There is over a foot of new snow since Wednesday night and it is still snowing right now. Up yonder in Duluth they are having windgusts of 65 mph. And this snow is not the heavy stuff, so the wind is pulling it all over the place, which adds to the fun! So now, my backyard looks like this:
The kids are outside digging a fort and I am inside watching them. For now. We'll probably go sledding again today and several more times this weekend. I have really, really (really) hated Minnesota in the winter time for the past few years. Even if we had gotten snow, it was too cold to go enjoy it, so we spent most of the winter cooped up and on each others' nerves. Now CB and I are having just as much fun as the kids. He went and built up a curve on the hill we sled on so that the kids would stay in the right path, then went down it on his shovel. It's been forever since we've had this much fun.

So now I'm off now to go help the kids build a snow fort. This is the stuff my mom told me about growing up here, and I'm excited to finally get to play in it!

Glamorous Anonymity

2007-02-22T13:56:00.000-06:00

I was talking with a fellow Glamorous Redneck (those of us city girls stuck out here in the country) last week about what we miss out here. Our biggest thing was that anonymity that comes with living in bigger cities. I really like going to the store without running into 500 people that I know. It was fun to be able to run across the street at 11 at night just because we wanted chocolate ice cream. We would run over there in our pajamas, duck in and duck out with no one being the wiser. Now, if I were to do that I’d have to first drive a half an hour away and it would be tomorrow’s big event. (Gosh, did you see CARRIE last night? She was out really late getting ice cream. Surely she’s pregnant!)

Now, as a parent, I love that I will be able to find my kids within no more than three phone calls should they disappear on me after school. And I’ve said before that I like the fact that there’s not that awkward “I have to meet the parents first” conversation before slumber parties. I know the parents of the kids that are in my kids’ classes. I went to school with some of them.

So, I guess there’s good and bad no matter where you are. What are your thoughts? Are you a city mouse or a country mouse? Have any plusses or minuses to add to the list?

Piranha Hour

2007-02-13T09:17:00.000-06:00

When I first started working where I am now, my co-worker would always talk about piranha hour. At that time, all I had was a six month old darling little baby that I couldn’t wait to get home to. I had no idea what she was talking about.

Basically, piranha hour is that first hour when you get home from work. The kids are trying to tell you all the fun things they did at school that day, the hub is trying to talk to you about his day and all you want to do is get your butt in the door and upstairs to your dear friend Calgon. Think about a piranha feeding frenzy. It’s the same idea, only not so bloody. So see? With a six month old, I had no idea what she meant.

Then CJ started school. I would have to pick Diva up from daycare, then drive back to town to grab CJ from my dad and get home so I could hurry up and make some dinner. Even then it wasn’t so bad. I had ten minutes with Diva in which she would tell me who spit on whom, who had an accident and who had THREE timeouts that day. Then we would get CJ and he would tell both of us who spit on whom, who had an accident and who got THREE warnings and had to go sit in the principal’s office. By the time we got home, the kids were done telling me everything that they needed to tell me, so I could come in the house and make dinner without much fiasco.

That has all changed now that they are both in school. And I truly understand why Co-worker calls it piranha hour. It’s not uncommon for me to have three conversations being directed at me at any one point in time. I spend the first fifteen minutes home clenching my hands to my sides just so I don’t start screaming and ripping my hair out.

However, it’s not as bad as it could be. See, I only work part time now. Monday through Thursday I get two blissful hours all to myself before the kids get home. After that, I get two hours with just the kids who will stop the feeding frenzy with a simple reminder that Mommy can only listen to one conversation at a time. But on the rare day (yesterday) that I have to work all day, it’s like it shifts into overdrive.

Most days, I find it all kind of comical. Especially when CB gets it when he gets home from work. I like being the outsider on the conversation. By the time he rolls in from work, the kids are tired of talking my ear off and are ready for a new audience. When they hear the doorknob turn, they are off and running. All I can hear is a chorus of “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”. And I know just how he feels.

So yesterday was just a very blatant reminder of how much I love my new schedule of getting time to myself before anyone else is home. Because I think that that down time is insanely important to my well-being. I had all these insane plans for what I was going to do with my extra time off (Exercise! Make gourmet meals! Bake cookies every day!), but in the six months or so that I’ve been doing it, all I’ve gotten accomplished is reading some really good books and taking a couple of naps. Maybe I’ll get to the point where I want to spend the whole afternoon cooking. But maybe I won’t. And maybe just the fact that I’m a little bit more relaxed when dealing with the famdamly is worth missing out on a couple of Chez Carrie creations.

Two days in a row? Surely Hell has frozen over

2007-02-12T12:45:00.000-06:00

If the weather outside lately is any indication of hell freezing over, ol' Lucifer himself just might be investing in some muck lucks and a fur coat. It's been insanely cold over the past week and a half! Yesterday it was a balmy 25 outside. It felt like summer!

After church yesterday, we headed to semi-civ to spend some time with the Army BIL who is home on his two week R & R. We all went bowling and I sucked it up hardcore. I used to be on a league and would bowl an average of like 125. Now, I finally got an 82 the second round and that was my high score. Sad, right? It was still fun though because the kids LOVE bowling. They didn't enjoy it quite as much yesterday, but that was because we couldn't get a bumper lane. The place was ridiculously crowded. And I get just a touch of claustrophobia (seriously what is it with all these new maladies of late? Evidently my body and psyche were only on a 25 year warranty and since it's expired, all the parts are starting to crap out). So I was trying really hard to just stay away from people, but it was impossible. Finally after our first game, a bunch of people left, so I didn't feel like I was going to implode anymore.

When we got home from that, CB had to hurry back out to practice bass with the group he's been playing with. We were looking at guitars for him last night and are probably going to purchase him his very own in the very near future.

I had so much fun on Friday night! It has been forever since I've been able to dress up for anything, and I must say, we looked pretty darn cute (obviously, or we wouldn't have won first place, right?). I had a cute purple poodle skirt, cat eye glasses, a purple scarf and got my hair cut so that I could rat the back and flip the bottom. The lady who plans the party even asked me to sing. So I busted out "Stupid Cupid" and got lots of applause. I didn't think I sounded half bad, either, but I did end it early because there's a little instrumental in the middle and everyone thought I was done. So I felt like a freak, but that's all right. :)

This week is super busy, as most of them have been lately. Which is why the blogging has gone to the wayside. Tonight Diva's got dance practice, tomorrow I'm going to keep a friend that's moving company, Wednesday is Diva & My dance practices, Thursday CB and I are going to Minneapolis for a late Valentine's getaway (actually, we're going to see a financial guy, but CB says we're doing Valentine's stuff so I'm going with that) and bible study, then Friday Diva is going with my mom to Minneapolis to watch the big girl's dance at the State competition. Saturday the Army BIL is supposedly cooking us a completely vegan meal (oh. Joy. I can hardly wait.) (now watch, it'll be ridiculously good and I'll be converted). Sunday will be church and maybe--just maybe--a nap. Cuz if I can't get this sleep thing figured out, I get the distinct impression that I'll need it.

My goal is to make it one whole week of blogging every day, but as you can see by this, I'm not going to make any promises.

Also, don't forget to let me know what pictures you want to see. Either post it in the comments or email me at glamorousredneck@gmail.com!

Nope, still not dead

2007-02-11T23:58:00.000-06:00

I haven't even looked at blogger since my birthday (what is that? Like almost three weeks ago?), and to tell you the truth, I didn't really miss it. In fact, when I tried to come here, I accidentally typed in "blooger" and was all "Holy crap, they've dismantled blogger!" until I remembered that I cannot spell to save my life. But now it's ~~Sunday~~ Monday morning (12:00 on the nose to be exact) and I am officially out of ideas for things to do. Why am I awake you ask? Well, I had a couple of little anxiety attacks (a new onset here on this other side of "mid-twenties") that kept me up until two in the morning last week, and evidently my body has decided that it doesn't need that much sleep anymore. So I go up to my bed, toss and turn for a couple of hours, then finally give up and come back down. Let me just say that there isn't a damn thing on once you get past 11 on Sunday night. I'm so bored I can't even bring myself to play interweb games. I feel like just screaming at myself "GO TO SLEEP STUPID GIRL!" but all the screaming would just wake me up even more. And here's the worst thing. . .sleeping pills don't even work. The hell? Normally I have to take sleeping pills at like 8 so I can be in bed by 8:30 and don't feel right unless I get to sleep in until noon. Now? Nothing. Methinks there's still a little bit of the panic-attack inducing worry plaguing my mind, and that's what's keeping me up, but I stll don't know how to stop it. Any clues?

In other news, here's what I've been up to:

Diva danced at a dancing competition the high school dance team held and I got to watch the passion for dance light up in her eyes. Good to know that she's really looking forward to dancing like the big girls.

Getting ridiculous amounts of compliments on the new hair. Had I known I looked so horrid before, I would have dyed it sooner (I kid, I know I didn't look that horrid. It's just a big change).

Dressing up in 50's garb and winning first prize in the costume contest at our church's annual Valentine's Banquet. I'll have pictures just as soon as we figure out how to get them off the hub's phone.

Buying my very first digital camera! Yay! I'm finally going to be one of the cool kids!

So, my camera should be here by next Friday. That means I'm throwing it in your court again. What kind of pictures would you like to see? I'll have to test the new camera out, and will need ideas for (G rated) pictures.

Happy Birthday to me

2007-01-30T11:40:00.000-06:00

So, 27 years ago today, my mom was in labor. Two weeks late and focusing on a picture of a wave (which in the birthday email that she sent me she informed me that she was about ready to tell my dad to get the *$%^@!* picture out of her face and get something for the pain), my birth was evidently a family celebration. I remember the birthday cards that my grandma used to give me where she would retell the story of the day I was born. Grandma was so excited that she burnt half a loaf of bread trying to make herself some toast before going to the hospital. Mom and Dad were so excited that they could hardly contain the joy bursting forth. They tell me how proud they are of me. How happy I've made their lives. And every year when I would get grandma's birthday card, tears would stream down my face. There was nothing better in the world than my grandma telling you she was proud of you. Because she wasn't just proud, she was darn near ready to take out a full page ad in the paper about how much she loved you.

Twenty-seven is kind of one of those meaningless birthdays. Much like 17. You aren't exactly making any milestones. Last year marked the cross-over from mid-20's. And I'm nowhere close to 30 (although it's much closer than I'm quite ready to admit).

I'm so not where I thought I was going to be by this point in my life, but I would not have it any other way. I probably haven't accomplished very much in the grand scheme of the world, but I feel pretty darn successful. I have two awesome kids, great friends, an incredible husband, and a good job. So what more could you possibly need, right?

I'm off to continue my little celebration of me. So far I've had breakfast at Starbuck's, bought some new hair color (ginger red), and played annoying computer games. I intend to spend the rest of my afternoon preparing for the sock hop tonight. It's not the greatest birthday day, but I can't complain. :)

Don't Mess with the Glamorous One

2007-01-26T11:00:00.000-06:00

I don’t know if I’ve said it before or not, but I come from a long line of “I am woman, hear me roar!” type ladies. My grandma wasn’t above telling my grandpa exactly what he could do with that plate after he was done with it (although she would usually take the plate and put it in the sink for him anyway), and my mom always taught me to be self-reliant. To never rely on a man to do what you can do for yourself. And above all never—ever—allow a guy to disrespect you.

Well, I took all of that to heart, so I wasn’t a bit afraid of standing up to the boys. It probably helped that I was a bit of a tomboy too. My first run in with the boys was in first grade. A group of them decided that they wanted to play a game where they would try and tackle me. I agreed and they proceeded to run up to me. I proceeded to knock every single one of them on their scrawny little butts. When I heard the recess guard’s whistle blow, I knew we were in trouble. Only the boys had all scrambled and I was left standing alone. Bastards. So, I ended up with a dreaded pink slip and had to sit at the “bad” picnic tables for the rest of recess (gasp! The horror! Surely I would die from lack of playing!). Those tables were only reserved for the uber naughty of the school. You know, the ones that don’t get to play for like a whole WEEK. I sobbed and sobbed and knew there would be a call to my mom.

The resulting sentence was that I had to stay after school one time and wash tables in the classroom. That turned my pink slip into a “gold” slip for good behavior. I seethed. I would have rather taken the pink slip because my teacher was hideously evil and I hated her with a fiery passion reserved only for those in the seventh circle of hell.

My second (punishable because I was caught) run in was in seventh grade (I did pretty good, didn’t I? Five years is a long time without getting caught.) and this boy who evidently had a crush on me called me a bitch on our way out of class. This did not bode well. I asked him to repeat himself and when he did, I jumped over the desks and pushed him. So hard that he tripped backwards and crashed into the wall. No big deal except it was one of those collapsible walls that made it so two classrooms could be one big one if necessary. And the teacher next door was still in his room. He came running in (another teacher that I hated) and put two and two together. That time we both got in trouble because he admitted that he had called me names. Ha ha! I thought. That’s what he gets! I didn’t even get detention for that one. But my mom did receive another call home (seriously, I think she should have kept track of how many times she was called for my incessant behavioral issues) and I was prepared for the worst. Turns out she wasn’t that mad at me. She was proud of me for standing up to him, but recommended that next time I use my brains instead of beating him up.

When I got to school the next day, Asshole Boy came up to me. I was prepared for round two, but he had just come up to apologize about the whole thing. Then he showed me the HUGE bruise he had on his side from running into a desk as he fell. It’s horrible now, but I actually laughed. And then he asked me not to say anything to anyone because he didn’t think he’d be able to handle everyone knowing that he got beat up by a girl.

So yeah, don’t mess with me! Lol Just ask CB, he’ll tell you that’s why he was attracted to me in the first place.

Early Run Ins with the Man

2007-01-25T15:01:00.000-06:00

I was over at This Fish today and read her story about a run in with her third grade teacher. It reminded me of a funny story about the first time I realized how two-faced teaches can be.

It was in second grade, and I had come to school looking oh-so-glamorous in my white skort, yellow and white striped shirt, and a matching yellow (ironic, yes?) banana clip. I was feeling like the cutest girl in school. Only one problem: my hair was not cooperating. I wanted it in a side ponytail, and every time I fastened the clip, there was a one inch section of hair (basically a way-long sideburn) that would come out. So I solved it by opening my desk and pulling out my scissors. I chopped the lock of hair off and threw it in the garbage, not thinking a thing of it. After recess, while we were doing our journal writing, our teacher—Mrs. Wade—called me and two other girls with the same color hair up to her desk.

Mrs. Wade asked the other two girls if the hair was theirs and they each said no. Then she turned to me and asked “Carrie, is this your hair?”

“Yeah.” I responded, not thinking anything of it. Plus, I figured it was so much better to tell the truth from the get-go instead of lying and having to deal with the double trouble.

Boy was I wrong! After listening to a ten minute schpiel from my teacher about how wrong it was to cut my own hair, but she called my mom as well! I knew that she’d called, so as I made the walk of shame to the car, I steeled myself for what was sure to be the ass-reaming of the century. Only mom was less upset than my teacher was. In fact, she was laughing about it. She just kind of rolled her eyes at me and I was grounded for the day. Plus she was proud of me for telling the truth! So, even though I was mad for having to stay inside for the day, I did get some reinforcement that it is good to tell the truth.

So yeah, that was the second or third time that my mom got a phone call from my teacher. Tomorrow I’ll share my penchant for beating up the boys.

In A Funk

2007-01-22T14:37:00.000-06:00

So in case you haven't noticed from the lack of posting, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I can't even tell you when it started or why, but I've just felt. . .meh. . .lately. Maybe it's because it's almost my birthday and I've never really grown up about the idea of being spoiled rotten on my birthday. And CB's family has never been all that into big celebrations, so it's impossible to try and get the point through to him. But he did actually buy me a present this year, so maybe there's hope yet. He and Diva went to the store and picked out some delicious smelling Yankee candles. Then he found two candle holders. One says "Our Love is" and the other one says "Everlasting". Sweet, right?

Then GlamorousMom stopped by last Thursday and brought me this:
This? just might be the thing to break me out of my funk. It's fabulous! Mom also gave me some cappucino mix, so I've been doctoring it up with peppermint hershey's kisses and caramel creamer. Delicious! There's a whole section on their website dedicated to recipies for the thing. And I figure it'll be money saving too. Because I won't be fitting off to the coffee shop every time I want a coffee!

So, after I got that, I started feeling a little better. Then I woke up yesterday morning to see that my yard is no longer icky dead grass, but it's covered with glittery fresh snow! CJ didn't understand why I was so excited that it had finally snowed until I explained to him that I would take pretty snow over icky dead grass every day of the week.

Then I woke up this morning frustrated and all "woe is me". And I learned that today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. So that shook me out of it a little bit, because I'm never one to go along with the norm.

It all changed, though, when I saw the video for Dierk's new song and saw that he CUT HIS DAMN HAIR! CB had called me and said that some DJ on the radio was whining about it, so I had a little warning. But I saw the video today and there is nothing there! No more curls! Just scruff. "Maybe he got tired of his wife nagging him to grow it out so he just buzzed it all off" was the sympathy I got from CB. "Shut up and don't even think of going near any scissors, dude." was my response to him. I've never really liked "long" hair, but I like to have something to run my fingers through, you know? And CB has gloriously thick, unbelievably soft hair when he lets it grow out. Sadly, he's usually got it cut like he just came home from boot camp. But since we have this theme party to go to in February, he's been growing it out. The theme this year is "Back to the 50's", so he's made it his mission to become Johnny Cash. Which is fine, because I love the whole "bad boy" motif he's got going on. It's freaking hot. But, he just informed me that the Saturday after the party, he's going to shave it all off again.

So, question of the day, ladies. What do you like on a man for a hairstyle? Short? Medium? Freakish 80's hairband long?

I'm Sorry (again)

2007-01-17T11:43:00.000-06:00

I feel like I’ve been meeting myself coming and going lately. And what’s the worst of it is that I haven’t really been doing anything at all. Not to mention that fact that I have had absolutely no desire to blog whatsoever. But, I did say that I was going to gush about the hubs taking up guitar, so for the few people who still stop by here (I promise I will be getting around to all of your blogs again very soon!), here’s the new reason I am hopelessly in lust with my husband.

It all started this past summer. A guy from church doesn’t like playing bass guitar, so he is loaning CB his because CB would like to learn it. Then CB got really busy at work and didn’t have time to play. Then he got in this ridiculous funk (seriously, I was plotting his murder he was such an ass) that lasted until last month. Now, he’s out of the funk and (thanks in part to the new method book, music stand and guitar strap I bought him for Christmas. Push gently, people. It works every damn time.) back to playing three or four times a week. Two weeks ago it finally clicked with him enough that he feels confident to play with a group from church when they play at another church next month. I’m hoping that after this little gig (hee hee), he’ll be confident enough to play at our church.

The whole process has been really funny because he is SUCH a perfectionist (and I am not. Which is why opposites attract is an entirely true statement). He was under the impression that for him to be able to play, he needed to automatically be kick ass like Fieldy (from the band Korn) or the bassist in Green Day. I was constantly reminding him that this is these peoples’ JOB and that they have spent a good five years (at least) learning and improving. Once he got past that, he picked up the guitar and has been going strong ever since. It would be sweet if he could get to that super-pro status eventually, but I’m just happy with the fact that he’s doing it at all.

Because there is nothing hotter than a guitarist. Nothing. At least to me. Maybe it’s because I think of guitarists as the “bad boys” of the music world. You know, too cool to play an orchestra instrument, so they go back behind the music shop and buy a guitar with their own money (because we all know that their mothers DO NOT approve). Plus, there’s the whole good with their hands thing. . . .

And girls that play guitar are automatically cool in my book. I want to learn so bad, but when I read the lesson books, the stuff that I read does not compute with my fingers. Nevermind the fact that I have tiny hands and can barely reach the fourth string, let alone all five.

It’s all good though, I’ll just let CB be the famous one, and I’ll sit around figuring out good ways to spend all his money!

You gotta pucker up your lipsh like dish. . .

2007-01-10T13:48:00.000-06:00

So I just got back from the dentist. Two hours of Nitrous and I feel like I got an extra night's sleep! On the downside, though, my lips feel like a duck bill and I'm kinda talking like Sebastian in the scene that the quote ^up there comes from (Little Mermaid, for those of you living under a rock and don't recognize that cute little crab). Anyway, my brain is still coming down, so for your entertainment today, I present "Redneck Pickup Lines" (Courtesy of a friend's email):

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

*Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

*My Love fer you is like diarrhea.I can't hold it in.

*If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel,I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

*You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

*Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

*Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.
and.... the best for last!

*Yer face reminds me of a wrench,.......................every time I
think of it my nuts tighten up.

My apologies to anyone coming here and expecting something high class and insightful, but I'm numb up to my eyeballs and haven't eaten anything since last night.

Catch y'all after the comedown. . .

Yeah I got yer update right here!

2007-01-08T21:41:00.000-06:00

Look at me! Updating! So busy with social events that I can barely keep my head straight! Who is this crazy person and why has she overtaken my normally dull life? No, I really don’t care what the answer to that is because I don’t want her to ever go away. Ev-er.

The weekend was pretty dull. CB and I dumped the kids off with CB’s mom and we headed to semi-civilization for a much needed date. We had lunch at Applebee’s, then headed over to Home Depot and depressed ourselves looking at things that we can’t afford (seriously, do they HAVE to charge so damn much money for kitchen cabinets? I mean I suppose they do have to pay for that $210 million severance pay somehow, but maybe if they would have been smart and just fired the guy if he sucked that bad, it wouldn’t cost me $10,000 to a pretty mocha and maple kitchen.

After the depression, we headed to Target (said Tar-jay because that’s as high class as it gets around here, people), and I laughed myself silly watching CB try on jackets and shirts that were about three sizes too small. Yes, I have pictures, but they don’t do the ensemble justice. And we don’t have the wire to get them off his cell phone.

Then we picked the kids up and spent the evening playing Sorry!. Sunday we went to church and played some more Sorry! and Uno (of which I am the undisputed champion, thank you very much!). So see? Highly uneventful.

Today I lunched with a very good friend and discussed our upcoming PTO fundraiser (gah. Is this what it’s like to be a grown up? Cuz I just don’t think I’m ready to take that step just yet). I took Diva to dance, then went to my PTO meeting (see? More with the grown up stuff. I think I need a temper tantrum.). I just got off the phone with one of my very dear friends (we were looking at flower girl dresses since Diva’s going to be her flower girl in August).

Tomorrow I will need to be home most of the afternoon because a guy will be coming to install my new cable telephone. It’s strange and I don’t know a thing about it other than the fact that it will cut my phone bill in half.

Wednesday I have to go spend two hours in a dentist chair (PSA: Don’t drink too much Coke and be sure to get enough calcium.) *Note to self: Stop drinking so damn much Coke, you KNOW how much you hate the dentist.* Then it’s all the practices (Diva’s dance, my dance, music team)

Thursday will be bible study and Friday I’ll crash. But I’ll try to blog more this week. Some fascinating topics on the horizon:

Diva and her crazy drama (the caliber of which I was not prepared to deal with for at least another five years).

CB learning how to play bass guitar (and how fricking hot it is)

Maybe i need to re-introduce myself?

2007-01-05T09:26:00.000-06:00

I can’t believe I haven’t posted in so long! It just goes to show how my life has been lately. The kids are (thankfully) back in school, and even though they weren’t thrilled, I couldn’t help but get a little smile on my face as they walked through the school door Wednesday morning.

A few highlights (and low-lights) of the first week of 2007:

New Year’s Eve was highly uneventful. We spent the evening at home with the kids, eating good food and drinking pseudo-martini’s (7-up with Maraschino cherries in it) and sparkling grape juice. CJ and Diva were convinced they were going to stay up until midnight. I told them we’d see, but that I bet they wouldn’t make it past 10. CJ looked at the clock at 10:30 and said “See, mom! We can TOO make it past 10!” Which was followed by his head hitting the pillow and snoring.

Diva was even more determined that she would stay awake the whole time. We happened across MTV at 11:00 when they did the countdown live. Diva watched the ball drop, then looked over at me and said “Happy New Year, Mommy!” Which was followed by her head hitting the pillow and snoring.

New Year’s Day I finally got to watch the Rose parade for the first time in probably 5 years. I have always loved that parade. And I wanted to be the Rose Queen when I was old enough. It was also highly uneventful, until CJ insisted that I play his Charlie and the Chocolate Factory PS2 game. I’m telling you, this is the crappiest game ever. There’s no instruction on any of the levels, so you have to kind of “guess” how to advance. The graphics suck and everything that Charlie is supposed to use for weapons is a pain in the ass to control. But! I could not turn it off. I finally beat the stupid thing yesterday.

Tuesday was the kids’ last day off of school. We spent the day baking and reorganizing the Christmas toys that have still yet to find homes. When CB got home, we headed over to the neighboring town to take him to the Chiropractor, then went out for Chinese. I swear that I have the strangest kids in the world. Because you can take them to a Chinese buffet and they load up on things like Sesame Chicken and Beef with Broccoli, but try and get them to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and they look at you like you’re asking them to cut off a limb.

Wednesday was my first day back at work since last Friday. I had to stay longer than anticipated, but that was fine. When I was finished here, I went out to lunch and had coffee with some friends. Then it was back into the routine of music practice/Diva dance/my dance.

Thursday was very enlightening. I found out that Diva is kissing boys at school. Not just any boy, but the mean boy (who, by the by is HORRID! Mean! Disrespectful! Disobedient!) in class who pulls her hair and throws rocks at her (Oh, Lord, she’s already showing the same tasted in boys that I had.). But seriously, in Kindergarten?! I guess I shouldn’t be really THAT surprised because there is one girl in her class who is constantly saying that her “coochie” itches and there are other girls who are talking about where babies come from (like the REAL where babies come from. Not just “There’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy). How do you put the kibosh on this junk? She’s far too young to be worrying about all of it, and I do not have the wherewithal to deal with this crap yet. Oy.

So there you have it. To make up for not posting in so verra long, you have one verra, verra long post about absolutely nothing. And if you are still with me to this point, let me just say thank you.

New Year’s resolutions are successfully broken, and 2007 is shaping up to be far more interesting than 2006. So Happy 2007 to you all!

Also, for those of you keeping track: 25 more days until my birthday. Not that I expect anyone else to keep track other than me, but it’s good for me to have it written down. 

And just like that it's all over.

2006-12-27T09:45:00.000-06:00

We had a very busy--but fabulous!--Christmas. On Friday night, CJ & Diva spent the night at my mom's house. CB made me a fantastic steak dinner and we spent the evening at home in blissful peace and quiet.

Then on Saturday, we went to get the kiddos, then saw Night at the Museum. It was AWESOME! So funny! And for a nerd like me who LOVES museums, it was heaven to see my kids so excited about it. Then we came home and wrapped the rest of the presents for extended family and opened our presents from each other.

Sunday we went to church, then it was up to CB's parents' house for lunch. A glorious lunch of turkey and smashed potatoes and corn and all sorts of other goodies. We opened presents there and CJ & Diva got this really cool marble labrynth thingie that they've spent countless hours building and rebuilding. I got a really pretty horse hair pot (picture follows below) and some moolah. Then we came back to town and went over to my dad's house. Diva got one of those new My Scene Barbies where you can push a button on their back and their facial expression changes. This sent me into fits of giggles because there is an expression that left my dad and I calling her Oral Annie. Seriously. Go to a toy department and look at one of these dolls. It's hilarious!

Monday we went to my mom's for lunch. Another declicious lunch of honeyed ham, pecan sweet potatoes, and many other goodies. There I got a bottle of the Olive Garden salad dressing, new pajamas, and Guitar Hero! It is the most fun game in the history of forever. And as long as I keep it on the "Easy" setting, I rock the house on most of the songs. I've been wanting it forever, since it's as close to being a rockstar as I'll ever be.

Yesterday I went with my Sister in Law after Christmas shopping. But not just ANY after Christmas shopping, we went to the big one--the Mall of America. It was PACKED, but as long as you stayed out of the kid-related stores, it was fairly tolerable. I scored some awesome clothes deals for the kids & me. Then went to Target where I got a pretty new tablecloth and charger for the center of my table:
It's pretty plain and simple right now (that's the horsehair vase in the middle), but I LOVE the colors. And it's not so "Christmas-y" that I can't keep it on there until spring time.

Also, since I'm posting pictures, here's our pretty little tree with the lights I don't particularly care for:
And a closeup of the stupid star that is beautiful but WILL. NOT. STAY. STRAIGHT. :
So there you have it. My Christmas weekend. I hope you all had a wonderful time as well!

Ho Ho Ho and all that.

2006-12-24T07:15:00.000-06:00

This is what it did outside on Thursday:This is depressing because even though it has been freezing outside and we usually have a pretty good covering of snow by now, this is the first stuff that we've had all year. Before the white stuff started to stick, there was some sleet. The two combined turned my very dry (and very dead) yard into a pee-colored slushy mess.

The ice also meant that the children got out of school two hours early.

2 Children + Early Out + 1 more day 'til Christmas Vacation + 4 more days 'till Christmas = a serious case of the crazies. This is what CJ was up to within an hour of being home:
This caused Diva (who has a penchant for waiting until the last. possible. second. to go to the bathroom) to laugh so hard that she peed her pants.

I took this photographic and also have videographic evidence which I presented to CB with the understanding that I may not get out of the next week (I'll be home with them on their ~~Christmas~~ Winter vacation) with my sanity in tact.

So Merry Christmas, y'all! I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories to entertain you next week.